No matter how smooth you polish this turd, the sickly stench will haunt you forever.
November 20, 2002 4:30 PM   Subscribe

No matter how smooth you polish this turd, the sickly stench will haunt you forever.
Hilarious shorts on auteur filmmaking. The Sequel, too. (via k10k, via natzke)
posted by cinderful (33 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Let us to be the first to fellate you!

I've been saying that for the last week. Even to my family.
posted by Stan Chin at 4:44 PM on November 20, 2002


That was wonderful. A must-view and a terrific take on the subtext of any set! Thanks for the link!
posted by herc at 4:46 PM on November 20, 2002


I'm just going to say that I enjoyed that, because of my bizarre, misplaced belief that spouting my crass and uninformed views through what I annoyingly call "cyberspace" will increase people's respect for me and eventually result in me getting laid.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 4:51 PM on November 20, 2002


"I really like the way you look. It makes it easier for me to treat you like a small child."

Very funny! The first clip reminded me of William Goldman's admonitions about the film industry. I'm still chuckling - thanks for that, cinderful.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:53 PM on November 20, 2002


In a similar vein, a few weeks ago there was a great take off on the advertising industry called When I Grow Up over here:

http://projects.hartinc.com/whenigrowup/

It now redirects to the hartinc.com, but if anybody can track it down, it was absurdly funny.
posted by willnot at 5:04 PM on November 20, 2002


Weren't there shorts in this style with an awards show a few years ago?

This is great stuff.
posted by frykitty at 5:06 PM on November 20, 2002


exactly, pretty generic. i don't have anything of worth to add, but i am still going to say it in a quasi-intellectual manner. it is less a matter of feeling good, then it is of killing time and other people's bandwith. furthermore, i'm going to be followed by people who believe themselves.
posted by the aloha at 5:24 PM on November 20, 2002


Top, biting satire - it has the ring of truth, does it not? And the ability to make me laugh out loud at the end of the day - priceless.
posted by dash_slot- at 5:30 PM on November 20, 2002


I'd just like to, uh, complain mirthlessly about the lack of broad, deep content, uh, in the post? To draw attention to myself while feeding my desire to be seen as a member of the MeFi "policing" community?

Though I'd like to betray my essential lack of confidence with an apologetic final sentence.
posted by cortex at 5:46 PM on November 20, 2002


A longer one set in an office, by (I think) the same director... anyone have the link?
posted by damehex at 5:54 PM on November 20, 2002


And although I really have nothing to contribute to this thread, I'd like to try to be self-referencial and "hip" by making a post to it in the style of the referenced film, because I'm still new here and I'm insecure about trying to fit in here.
posted by wanderingmind at 5:58 PM on November 20, 2002


here's the link to the prequel truth in advertising clip [qt ~3mb] that shows the creative briefing and conference call with the director.

"awkward uncomfortable drinks with the client?" is my favorite thing to say when i'm with with the agency people.

oh, and here's the when i grow up parody [qt ~3m]

the scary part about these things is how close to home they hit.
posted by birdherder at 6:07 PM on November 20, 2002


I'd like to suggest that this clip has already been featured on Metafilter, thereby embarassing cinderful and removing his future credibility.

It'd help cement my reputation as a spiteful bastard, but I can't get it up enough to bother using the search tool. Instead, I'll just hope that someone else with even less a life as I, will do the work. Then I'll scorn him for being such a nasty bastard, and get to feel superior that way.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:11 PM on November 20, 2002


They stole this bit from that Jim Carrey movie "Liar, Liar," but that's okay. It's still hilarious and painfully honest.
posted by Down10 at 6:42 PM on November 20, 2002


i love the fact that the cinematographer's name is Vlad Tepes. And "because i'm as sensitive as a porn star's penis after a hard days work" may be one of my new favorite lines.

That and "All right, here goes my spine."

Good stuff.
posted by quin at 7:10 PM on November 20, 2002


I'm curious if this was inspired by Steven Soderbergh's Schizopolis, which was made back in 1996.

It's a strange movie, showing the same situation from different perspectives. One of which involves Soderbergh, as the main character, going through his day explaining what and how he would be saying his dialogue.

It's easier to understand if you watch it. I was lucky enough to find a copy at my local library.
posted by the biscuit man at 9:27 PM on November 20, 2002


Brilliant -- funniest shit I've seen in a long time.

I'm going to link it in my weblog (which is just a cheap and seldom-read best-of-Metafilter link-leaching exercise given that I lack the time and energy to say anything meaningful there) and email the link to a few friends who don't spend much time online and who think I'm a genius for always finding such fantastic web content.
posted by boredomjockey at 10:14 PM on November 20, 2002


I'm going to link it in my weblog (which is just a cheap and seldom-read best-of-Metafilter link-leaching exercise given that I lack the time and energy to say anything meaningful there) and email the link to a few friends who don't spend much time online and who think I'm a genius for always finding such fantastic web content.

Rather than come up with an original thought regarding the links, I'm simply going to recklessly waste bandwith by repeated the entirety of the last post I read. In my hurry to post something--anything--it's unclear whether I agree or disagree, but as I silently fear nobody reads anything I write I've come to consider my quality of comment to be secondary to the warm fuzzy feeling I get from clicking the "Post" button.
posted by Inkslinger at 10:36 PM on November 20, 2002


I will post the usual trolling drool and catty comments that I always do about how this was funny and a good post. I'll end this with something witty about "masturbating to lingerie catalogs."
posted by MaddCutty at 10:56 PM on November 20, 2002


I'll play the role of the needlessly self-righeous one, and post something no one will pay any attention to about the poor quality of the discussion on Metafilter these days.
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 12:01 AM on November 21, 2002


I'll jump in here with an unrelated and apparently non sequiteur ranting attack against the American government, but make a last-minute attempt to temper the vitriol with a hastily tacked-on attempt at humour.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:28 AM on November 21, 2002


With a thin veneer of self-applied faux credibility, I'll admonish Yelling at Nothing to take it to MetaTalk.
posted by planetkyoto at 1:42 AM on November 21, 2002


Small dull comment.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:35 AM on November 21, 2002


Posits from the vantage point of (what he thinks is) a low user number that the thread is veering into 9622 territory.
posted by xiffix at 4:46 AM on November 21, 2002


Naughty pillows.
posted by CoolHandPuke at 5:07 AM on November 21, 2002


Obligatory 'this thread rocks' comment.

Delivered plainly and without decoration so as to avoid drawing too much attention to myself.
posted by Duug at 6:35 AM on November 21, 2002


I'll chime in with a tagline, trying to look like I'm know what this site is really all about, and have to take it upon myself to show when someone else touches on that mysterious quality without knowing it.

Metafilter: The usual trolling drool and catty comments.
posted by gottabefunky at 8:21 AM on November 21, 2002


Our new pancake overlords... you say they vibrate?

LMAO! ROTFLMAO! MLTAPBFLAMAOACIƓNAO!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 8:25 AM on November 21, 2002


To be real hip, I'll throw in a cliche, then worry that the thread itself is now a hackneyed cliche and that I've just proved myself hopelessly unhip by continuing to participate.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:08 AM on November 21, 2002


I'll tediously and pedantically add an ironic, self-describing comment that far-too-cutesy-and-cleverly mocks itself to the thread full of comments with the same gimmick.

Then, in the next sentence (which is also self-referencing (and I'm obligated to note the fact, to demonstrate my hyperawareness)), I'll comment on the failure of my first sentence to provide any humor value whatsoever (not to mention the second, yeesh. (Geddit?! Even the meta-meta-mocking is mocked! Oh the hilarity! (Geddit?! Even the meta-meta-meta-mocking is...

STACK OVERFLOW

)))

(Then a witty hepcat computerish reference.)

All this in the future tense. Sentence fragment.
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:09 PM on November 21, 2002


I'd like to patronisingly observe that another community site did this last year. Implying that this is all old hat, and I am inherently superior to you all, for knowing this.

Self deprecating joke to re-balance karma.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 1:56 PM on November 21, 2002


Tupac administers his flesh monkeys from beyond the grave.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 5:17 PM on November 21, 2002


I'd post a comment in which I reluctantly admit that sonofsamiam wins, except that my preening and incessant need to be perceived as more intellectual than the next guy forces me to be flip and derogatory, while secretly hoping to avoid offence and the potential for future conflicts that I am all too aware I might lose.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:31 AM on November 22, 2002


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