Apparently, it *was* really good paper!

November 22, 2002 3:01 AM

Ellen Feiss speaks! In her first-ever interview, she breaks her silence and answers the question many of you have been asking: "by the time I made it it was like 10, so I was really tired. The funny thing was, I was on drugs! I was on Benedryl, my allergy medication, so I was really out of it anyway. That's why my eyes were all red, because I have seasonal allergies. But no one believes me." (via MacRumors; see also Wired)
posted by mcwetboy (48 comments total)

I say she's got about 3 minutes left...
posted by PenDevil at 3:13 AM on November 22, 2002

Wow.. she does talk like that all the time. It's quite amazing, there's this whole fascination with this girl, who couldn't be any more of a typical teenager. There's nothing really unique about her at all.

I think it might just be the total lack of regular-looking but still cute girls on TV that has caused some of the buzz around her.

Who knows, but I do know this: If she's on TV after this at all, it will just ruin it.
posted by Space Coyote at 3:21 AM on November 22, 2002

"And I was like..............Mhmm?"
posted by hama7 at 4:18 AM on November 22, 2002

I think that interview clinches it... her 15 minutes isn't about her so much as the talent of Errol Morris.
posted by crunchland at 4:51 AM on November 22, 2002

Ellen: "It was a really, really good paper."

Best line, on her trip to GeekMecca: "I got shuttled down to New York, and I got VIP seating, and I was like, “Wow, I’m at the Oscars or something,” but then I was like, “No, I’m at Macworld.” I met Steve Jobs. He called me by my first name — clever, huh? It was brief."
posted by planetkyoto at 5:05 AM on November 22, 2002

As man who was once given a roadside sobriety test because of my red swollen eyes caused by having just been at a friends apartment which was home to a couple of cats, I feel for this girl.

Maybe the lawyers in that overweight teen/McDonald's case can find some more teens and get up a class action suit against Mircosoft for poor grades.
posted by agentfresh at 5:16 AM on November 22, 2002

Benedryl? Riiiiiiight. If I had a joint for every time I used the 'ole "Benedryl" excuse in high school....

Oh....actually I did.
posted by jalexei at 5:18 AM on November 22, 2002

Do you feel any connection to the Dell dude?
No, none whatsoever. That guy’s a doofus. I get a lot of “What if you guys had kids?” And I’m like, “What if we had kids?” Why would you ask that? What a weird question. They’d probably be blond.

This girl is hilarious.
posted by oissubke at 5:25 AM on November 22, 2002

"These people don't have lives."
posted by 111 at 5:28 AM on November 22, 2002

I apologize in advance, but:

Metafilter: "These people don't have lives."

Someone had to do it.
posted by Songdog at 5:41 AM on November 22, 2002

" It's quite amazing"

No, it's not.

"This girl is hilarious."

No, she's not.
posted by y6y6y6 at 5:42 AM on November 22, 2002

Amazing, no, hilarious, yes.

Wish Apple hadn't pulled the ads. What's wrong with thinking different?
posted by gsteff at 5:50 AM on November 22, 2002

The amazing bit is that we're here discussing this. An ad. Some PR guy is laughing at all of us right now. I am continually amazed by the attention this girl gets.
posted by Space Coyote at 5:57 AM on November 22, 2002

Ferhevvinsake, people, she's fifteen. What sort of different answers and/or deep thinking were you expecting?
posted by sageleaf at 5:59 AM on November 22, 2002

God bless her. She is freaking hysterical.
posted by adampsyche at 6:09 AM on November 22, 2002

I feel sorry for you all. If you don't get a grin from the way this funny, self-possessed HS sophomore is handling her 15 minutes, you're beyond help. Turning down Letterman and Leno because of the stupid, insulting questions they'd probably ask? That doesn't describe most Americans I know.

Planetkyoto nailed it-- that line " 'Wow, I’m at the Oscars or something,' but then I was like, 'No, I’m at Macworld.' ” was as deft a skewering of geek culture as you'll see.
posted by luser at 6:26 AM on November 22, 2002

The original ad.
posted by gsteff at 6:34 AM on November 22, 2002

The kind folks over at slashdot are killing the server [it was a really, really good server], but luckily there is someone willing to break copyright law and copy the whole article.
posted by plemeljr at 6:42 AM on November 22, 2002

After watching the ad again, I'm not really sure I can see the attraction anymore. The flame is gone, the party's over.

Based on the article, I guess the Hamilton Morris listed on the page above Heidi is Errol Morris' kid.
posted by crunchland at 6:44 AM on November 22, 2002

When we get back two weeks later, it’s like a bombard, it was so big.

Cool. Seems like she's either into historical reenactments or miniatures gaming.
posted by ursus_comiter at 6:47 AM on November 22, 2002

someone willing to break copyright law and copy the whole article.

I tried the same thing here, but my Mac started going beep beep beep, and then I lost like the whole article. Which was really a shame 'cause it was a really good article.
posted by none at 6:52 AM on November 22, 2002

that was the best friggin' interview i have ever read
posted by disgruntled at 6:53 AM on November 22, 2002

Turning down Letterman and Leno because of the stupid, insulting questions they'd probably ask?

Yeah, luser, she gets a lot of points for doing that.

‹derail›
I don't watch either other than when trapped at a relative's place, but I once saw Jay Leno be an utter dick to Alicia Silverstone while she just let him go on and on (probably so as not to make waves careerwise). I owe Jay a kick in the balls if I ever meet him for that.
‹/derail›
posted by ursus_comiter at 6:54 AM on November 22, 2002

I’m not actually sure how much I got paid because it was in installments, and the whole contract was dealt with by my parents, so I’m not actually sure. Oh, and I got an iPod. It’s like the coolest thing ever.

How could you argue with that?
posted by adampsyche at 6:57 AM on November 22, 2002

"This girl is hilarious."

No, she's not.

Maybe not hilarious, but she _is_ funny


ursus
Leno discussion also going on here here
posted by matteo at 7:00 AM on November 22, 2002

Errol Morris directed those commercials?!

I had no idea..
posted by xmutex at 8:37 AM on November 22, 2002

Ellen's cool... But I'm more of a Janie Porche man myself.
posted by spilon at 8:49 AM on November 22, 2002

Hamilton sure looks like he's Errol's son ...
posted by Songdog at 8:50 AM on November 22, 2002

Think Outside The Bong
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:01 AM on November 22, 2002

i wonder if this will ever come back up. i wish to join in.
posted by folktrash at 9:50 AM on November 22, 2002

Ellen's cool... But I'm more of a Janie Porche man myself.

Oh, now she is adorable. I'd missed that one somehow, thanks. I saved Christmas!
posted by Ynoxas at 10:25 AM on November 22, 2002

Hamilton sure looks like he's got allergies too.
posted by mblandi at 12:41 PM on November 22, 2002

ahhh, maybe not...
posted by mblandi at 12:44 PM on November 22, 2002

Absolutely CHOCK-FULL of hilarious quotes. My fave:

"Supposedly, though, my agent is “floating my image,” quote unquote. I don’t know what the hell that means."

posted by bradlauster at 1:37 PM on November 22, 2002

Errol Morris directed those commercials?!

I had no idea..

I'm surprised they're paying him to do more than one. What does he do? "OK, I think we're going to go with the white background on this one. OK, now I've been thinking pretty hard about what music to use, why don't we go with that dinky jingle? So when's my next paycheque coming again?"
posted by Space Coyote at 2:21 PM on November 22, 2002

What does he do??!

He makes commercials compelling enough so that the target audience for the ads are compulsively talking about them, in a very very efluential way, months and months after they were released.
posted by crunchland at 2:24 PM on November 22, 2002

She's a typical, dumb blond American teenager... what else is there to say about her? Whats with the fuss?

Nothing against teenagers... but teenagers that have the intelligence level of a 10 year old being 15... is pathetic.

And everything she says is only funny because some of you have some obscure (maybe sexual?) fascination with her...

Just my 2 teenage cents...
posted by spidre at 2:25 PM on November 22, 2002

And everything she says is only funny because some of you have some obscure (maybe sexual?) fascination with her...

Wired put a story about this interview up today. A story about someone else's story. Big outlets don't like to do that, so Wired, at least, thinks there's something legitimately interesting here. The interview's been pretty big on weblogs, too.

Personally, I think the interview is even funnier and cooler than the ads. A tribute to that crazy blend of sarcasm, cluenessness, insight and hypocracy that belongs to teenagers. Space Coyote had it right, she couldn't be any more of a typical teenager.
posted by gsteff at 3:13 PM on November 22, 2002

Definitely hilarious. The only way you could be annoyed at this kid is if you were a self-conscious geek who took your s**t way too seriously. Good thing we don't have any of those around here! :)
posted by anser at 4:15 PM on November 22, 2002

Maybe Ellen = Chance in Being There.
posted by crunchland at 5:15 PM on November 22, 2002

well said, anser. :)
posted by elphTeq at 7:02 PM on November 22, 2002

hehe. truly well said but, sadly--not very true...

It's okay though, good try. :)
posted by spidre at 7:42 PM on November 22, 2002

The article kind of makes me rethink the validity of the "switch" campaign -- if one of the switchers is the director's son. the other, a friend of the Morris family. Not that advertisers would lie...
posted by herc at 1:31 AM on November 23, 2002

I think, deep down, everyone is fond of Ellen, even when they make fun of her pot-head/valley girl mannerisms. She's got that type naïvate that is so natural of teenagers that it's refreshing in a world where kids are forced to grow up quickly and leave their happy-go-lucky, ditzy world behind. And most times, the teenage girls in the media are portrayed by women 6 years older and far less realistic; having someone like Ellen on the screen is nice dose of reality.

It was a really, really good interview.
posted by Down10 at 1:54 AM on November 23, 2002

listed on the page above Heidi is Errol Morris' kid.

Uh... woops.. re-reading that, I meant Ellen, not Heidi, Fleiss. Freudian slip or wishful thinking ...or something... on my part, I guess.
posted by crunchland at 6:15 AM on November 23, 2002

and, yes... I realize now her name is Ellen Feiss. Apparently, my wishful thinking knows no bounds.
posted by crunchland at 6:18 AM on November 23, 2002

Herc: "The article kind of makes me rethink the validity of the "switch" campaign -- if one of the switchers is the director's son. the other, a friend of the Morris family. Not that advertisers would lie...

I don't think the switch campaign is supposed to be a quantitative analysis of pc users. Last I heard it was an *advertisement*.
posted by mecran01 at 6:31 AM on November 23, 2002

I like how some people are mad at her and wish her ill, when clearly she's just trying to move on and hasn't thrust herself into the public eye at all. I doubt I'd like her in person, but I don't think she's an asshole just because people talk about her a lot.
posted by Hildago at 7:53 PM on November 23, 2002