Comments on: Laptop burns manhood

Laptop burns manhood

chrid — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:17:19 -0800

My laptop gets pretty hot but I never imagined it could cause burns! In fact this is probably the only injury that can be caused by a computer, apart from electrocution?

By: me3dia

me3dia — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:20:29 -0800

What about a broken toe from dropping a CPU on it? Or carpal tunnel syndrome from improper mouse use?

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:30:35 -0800

Father McGwire says I'll go blind.

By: Stan Chin

Stan Chin — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:37:16 -0800

Don't practice cunnilingus on an active floppy drive.

By: password

password — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:37:51 -0800

I get a bad back from sitting in a chair all day long.

By: Hildago

Hildago — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:42:54 -0800

Computer use can cause all kinds of injuries in the same way that performing any activity for prolonged periods of time can damage your body. I speak from experience. It's not particularly funny.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:44:48 -0800

I've hurt someone else with plastic shrapnel from trying to "fix" a server with a hammer.

By: Songdog

Songdog — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:45:27 -0800

I've cut my hand open without even feeling it, working inside the case. Then, of course, there's RSI, CRES, etc., etc. ...

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 12:48:18 -0800

I think its because the article used the words "boffin" and "penis" that made it humorus. Heh, heh, he said boffin.

By: me3dia

me3dia — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:01:19 -0800

Don't practice cunnilingus on an active floppy drive. By that line of thought, I suppose fellatio on a hard drive would be equally bad?

By: benjh

benjh — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:02:46 -0800

I have a Compaq laptop that gets seriously hot. This is why I love a Palm and keyboard attachment. No major heat produced from a handheld computer.

By: ElvisJesus

ElvisJesus — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:03:19 -0800

One of the dangers of Internet Porn

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:10:19 -0800

Anyone else think "writing a report in his armchair" is a euphemism for "surfing pr0n with one hand"?

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:11:20 -0800

Don't laugh, someone is working on that as we speak! (definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK)

By: DakotaPaul

DakotaPaul — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:27:37 -0800

Aha! That explains the blisters and sores on my penis.

By: DakotaPaul

DakotaPaul — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:32:17 -0800

Wait...I don't have a laptop...

By: cx

cx — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:35:35 -0800

My father had a laptop that routinely would send 50-60 volts of electricity through your wrists because of some faulty grounding and poorly placed screws on the cabinet. Ouch.

By: Espoo2

Espoo2 — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 13:56:11 -0800

ahhh... good commentary. But what I don't understand is, how did he get these blisters without knowing it at the time... Its your......... I mean..........mr.squiggles.........its....but......Hot.......... the next day!?... I'm gonna have to side with mr.moonpie.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 14:13:11 -0800

Those Dell boatanchors they call portables are pretty damn heavy, wouldn't want to drop one of them...

By: trbrts

trbrts — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 14:20:02 -0800

what about carpel tunnel syndrome?

By: Tacodog

Tacodog — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 14:34:23 -0800

*hugs ibook*

By: johnny vagabond

johnny vagabond — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 14:39:11 -0800

It's my turn! It's my turn, at last: This laptop, it vibrates?

By: blissbat

blissbat — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 15:08:40 -0800

There's also the monitor-exploding-in-one's-face problem, as in the Finn Who Blew Himself Up in Stephenson's Cryptonomicon.

By: paleocon

paleocon — Fri, 22 Nov 2002 16:33:54 -0800

So how exactly does one get burns on one's scrotum from literal usage of a laptop?

By: Dillonlikescookies

Dillonlikescookies — Sat, 23 Nov 2002 01:16:53 -0800

I've burnt my legs from my laptop before. The extractor fan was broken and I didn't know, and it got rather hot rather quickly... but that doesn't explain how he burnt his... er.. yeah.

By: loafingcactus

loafingcactus — Sat, 23 Nov 2002 04:58:59 -0800

computer injuries: My spouse works on a server assembly line. It's the typical assembly line deal- make as many computers as possible as fast as possible. He comes home with cuts all over his arms from reaching inside the boxes. And he had to be taken to emergency once after destroying something in his back picking one of those things up. Talking about assembly lines is always such a downer...

By: jjb

jjb — Sat, 23 Nov 2002 12:11:57 -0800

this is actually the reason that manufacturers call them 'notebooks' instead of 'laptops'. There was at least on case of a paralyzed individual suffering third degree burns to her legs after resting the notebook on her lap.

By: Jubey

Jubey — Sun, 24 Nov 2002 17:04:43 -0800

What's the bet that it was the Tibook that caused it? That thing gets damn hot. Who knew that titanium would conduct heat so well. Heh. Apple should really do something about it. Lawsuit anyone?

By: Dreama

Dreama — Sun, 24 Nov 2002 17:39:48 -0800

In the back of every MacWorld magazine there is an ad for a company that sells a special wedge which elevates the back of the TiBook and iBook to allow for better air circulation and heat disbursement. I've acheived the same ideal, ironically, by elevating the back of my Book on a couple of Macworlds.

By: nasim

nasim — Sun, 24 Nov 2002 18:28:06 -0800

Just today I noticed a tiny chip in my monitor and I felt compelled to research the likelihood of a monitor imploding and causing injury. After reading a number of inflammatory articles I satisfied myself that this is something that has been taken seriously by manufacturers and is vanishingly unlikely due to the thick glass the front of the monitor is made of... phew .

By: dg

dg — Sun, 24 Nov 2002 22:00:39 -0800

Many people are under the impression that, because a monitor implodes rather than explodes, they are safe from flying glass, with all the glass flying inwards. Have a think, though, about what happens to the glass the back of the monitor is made of and where it goes. Not that there is much chance of a monitor breaking, as they are pretty tough and hard to break. I can't figure out how this guy managed to burn himself that way or, if he was holding the notebook so close to his body, how he managed to get to the keyboard or see the screen properly. Unless his penis reaches his knees, of course. If you spend much time inside computer cases, you will know that there are lots of ways you can hurt yourself with little or no effort.