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Smuggled from NZ
January 6, 2003 5:17 PM   Subscribe

Calling all fanboys! Somewhere in the world there is a "Return of the King" calendar with publicity stills from the yet to be released film. Check 'em out before they fall into shadow.
posted by pejamo (38 comments total)

 
Patience, people. I avoided seeing any spoilers or trailers for the second movie, and it payed off big time when I came to see it. Watch things with fresh eyes, as the director intends.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 5:22 PM on January 6, 2003


if you're worried about "spoilers," the only thing that'd really be called a spoiler is a picture of Denethor, who I'm sure you'll be seeing plenty of in pre-movie specials and trailers over the next several months anyway. it's mostly shots of the actors that could easily have come from the first or second movies.
posted by chrisege at 6:46 PM on January 6, 2003


Lord of the Rings spoilers. Heh.

I didn't go see James Bond or Indiana Jones movies expecting to see the star die at the end, and I don't expect to (finally) see Return of the King without the Ring being destroyed and Aragorn becoming King.

What other "spoilers" can there be? Oh, and sorry if I just ruined the story for anyone.
posted by yhbc at 7:22 PM on January 6, 2003


Right, because there's nothing to a movie but the bottom line.
posted by muckster at 7:42 PM on January 6, 2003


yhbc is trixie and false. we hates yhbc. our movie is precious.
posted by ColdChef at 8:05 PM on January 6, 2003


That voice - it has a familiar ring. Or, at least it used to.

Into the fire with you, SmeaChef!
posted by yhbc at 8:29 PM on January 6, 2003


"Ring." Heh.
posted by ColdChef at 8:34 PM on January 6, 2003


I'm just glad these movies don't have smell-o-vision. Aragorn looks as if he hadn't had a bath in a year, and Gollum-I can only imagine what HE would have smelled like.
posted by konolia at 8:35 PM on January 6, 2003


That would be "tricksy," I believe, cc. And where in Middle Earth can one get that calendar?
posted by Lynsey at 8:37 PM on January 6, 2003


No, in fact I am Trixie.

Don't tell anyone.
posted by yhbc at 8:53 PM on January 6, 2003


Did anyone else read that review of the FOR that said each group of characters had the hair of a different 70s rock group? The elves were the Allman Brothers, the men were Aerosmith (or was it Led Zeppelin?), Frodo was Peter Frampton...Can't remember where that was.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:03 PM on January 6, 2003


Patience, people. I avoided seeing any spoilers or trailers for the second movie, and it payed off big time when I came to see it. Watch things with fresh eyes, as the director intends.

I completely agree. I tend to dislike fanboy ranting so I read nothing about TTT before I saw it - not even a review - and I'm very glad I didn't. I intend to do the same with the third.
posted by Summer at 2:07 AM on January 7, 2003


well I didn't know Aragorn was to become king because I haven't read the books.

yhbc you c*nt.
posted by Frasermoo at 5:03 AM on January 7, 2003


You need to read the books. They do take liberties with the plot here and there, to my disgust (Aragorn and Arwen in TT, particularly.)
posted by konolia at 5:42 AM on January 7, 2003


Oh really? Tell all konolia.
posted by Summer at 5:57 AM on January 7, 2003


Everything they showed about Arwen & Aragorn in TTT was written by Tolkein; it's all in the addendum stories at the end of Return of the King. It's quite a complicated and tragic romance, but no "liberties" were taken, other than including in TTT some details which Tolkein excised and included later.
posted by junkbox at 6:39 AM on January 7, 2003


I like the creature Gollum.
On second thought, I like Liv Tyler better.
posted by 111 at 6:58 AM on January 7, 2003


I have to have one moment of fangirl squealing -- the April picture just makes me want to jump up and down in delight.

Hobbits! In love! yes!
posted by Katemonkey at 7:43 AM on January 7, 2003


I have a feeling this might become the next vibrating broomstick, but I haven't seen it posted here yet, so here goes:

Leonard Nimoy's "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" music video.
posted by blueshammer at 7:48 AM on January 7, 2003


I suppose we went to the theater looking for different things, konolia. The movies don't look at the story from the same angle as Tolkien's novel did, but they stand on their own as a well-crafted telling of the tale. Think of it in mythic terms: it's the same story, but as it is passed down through the generations, each person who retells it gives it a slightly different emphasis.
posted by Mars Saxman at 7:48 AM on January 7, 2003


What other "spoilers" can there be? Oh, and sorry if I just ruined the story for anyone.

Actually, my wife hasn't read the books, and was quite pissed to see a big display at the bookstore with Viggo Mortensen's face prominently placed on the cover, thus explaining the title "Return of the King"... but she has gotten used to that sort of thing, being one of a minority who are not familiar with the story.
posted by Mars Saxman at 7:51 AM on January 7, 2003


You need to read the books. They do take liberties with the plot here and there, to my disgust (Aragorn and Arwen in TT, particularly.)

Yes. . .Arwen goes away in the first installment but, for me, I welcome this change. . .the energy of Aragorn and Arwen, or at least the chemistry of those actors together is one of my favorite parts of these movies.
posted by Danf at 7:51 AM on January 7, 2003


Well, Arwen never said she was gonna sail away with the other elves-at least in TT. Yes, I have read the appendixes but it seems to me they did this just so there could be more "sparks" between Eowyn and Aragorn. Pah. I will say no more about THAT in regard for the philistines who haven't read the books.

For those who aren't familiar with the appendixes, Aragorn was raised by the Elves, and Elrond (his father figure)basically told him that unless and until he managed to return to his rightful throne he and Arwen would be a no-go.

Frankly, all I really care about is the hobbits. I am afraid they will end the movie series without showing what happens when they return to the Shire...but I suppose I should be grateful they made these movies at all, and that theycast such a cute fellow for Frodo's part.
posted by konolia at 8:10 AM on January 7, 2003


konolia:

Here is a plot difference spoiler, rot13'd for everyone's protection.

Crgre Wnpxfba unf nyernql fnvq (V urneq vg ba gur SbgE pbzzragnel genpx ba gur QIQf, ohg vg znl or ryfrjurer) gung EbgX vf abg tbvat gb pbire gur Fpbhevat bs gur Fuver.
posted by jammer at 8:29 AM on January 7, 2003


Why are we not all talking about Cate Blanchett? What's wrong with you people?
posted by jpoulos at 8:34 AM on January 7, 2003


Because she's rubbish in it. It's like she's constantly thinking 'ethereal, ethereal, ethereal'.
posted by Summer at 9:29 AM on January 7, 2003


Konolia: If you're a real fanboy (or fangirl, the term fanboy is a generic and gender neutral one to me), then you've already seen the extended FOTR, and listened to all the commentary tracks. Armed with that knowledge you already know what Peter J. has done about the cleansing of the Shire.

As for the calendar pics, Sir Ian looks like he is ready to kick some Land of Shadow ass!
posted by pejamo at 9:42 AM on January 7, 2003


mmmmmmm, Cate Blanchett...
posted by blue_beetle at 10:41 AM on January 7, 2003


I thought Cate Blanchett was less elven than she was frightening in FOTR, until I saw the extended DVD version. She actually did do a credible job in the part, it's just that they edited out most of the stuff that made it seem as if Galadriel cared about the fate of the Ringbearer and his company. That being said, ooh what a nice picture of her for December!
posted by Lynsey at 11:17 AM on January 7, 2003


I'm just glad these movies don't have smell-o-vision. Aragorn looks as if he hadn't had a bath in a year

Hey, that's genuine saving-the-world blood sweat and tears there buddy, not regular grime. Hmmm. Grimy Aragorn... Sigh....
/sadly predictable reaction from the over 35 female demographic
posted by jokeefe at 1:12 PM on January 7, 2003


/sadly predictable reaction from the over 35 female demographic
I thought you all had orders to swoon over Legolas. Or is he for the 18-35 segment?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:15 PM on January 7, 2003


I thought you all had orders to swoon over Legolas. Or is he for the 18-35 segment?

I'd say more the 18 to 25 segment, with Elijah for the 12 to 18 year olds. Legolas is just too irritatingly well groomed and pretty, no matter how cool his horse mounting moves are. But Aragorn, now, there's a man who can swing a sword and kiss his horse with the same ragged aplomb, even if as yet he's Still Not King (realizes that she's not making sense and runs away)
posted by jokeefe at 1:29 PM on January 7, 2003


Elijah for the 12 to 18 year olds

Well, his diminuitive nature in the film is a bit off-putting, I suppose.

I found it humorous that he shows up in another holiday hit this year: The Back to the Future Collector's Set. My wife found him quite readily, even though I missed him at first: When Marty visits the "Retro 80s" cafe in the future, he meets up with 2 kids trying to get an old video game to work. One of them is the much-more-hobbitish Wood, approximately 10 years of age.
posted by thanotopsis at 1:53 PM on January 7, 2003


Heh, again. Still Not King. You just know we're going to be able to milk this thing for another full year and then some.
posted by yhbc at 1:54 PM on January 7, 2003


Damn, and it looks like she already has. Here's Cassandra's Aragorn, Part Two for anyone else who didn't know she'd started writing them again.
posted by yhbc at 1:58 PM on January 7, 2003


Dang, yhbc, you beat me to it. She's also written a VSD for Theoden, posted at her Live Journal on Christmas Day.

My squadron of hand picked bodyguards totally whupped by tiny hairy newt, pretty boy elf and unshaven tramp. Obviously, need better screening process.

Still the funniest.

And The OneRing.net has larger scans of the Return of the King calendar photographs. Unfortunately, it looks like the picture of Aragorn features Viggo Mortensen wearing what looks suspiciously like his real hair. Oh well, I knew it couldn't last...
posted by jokeefe at 2:16 PM on January 7, 2003


Well, I didn't say Aragorn was unattractive. Being forty-mfmfph that would put him in my age group. But I still think Frodo's a cutie.

BTW, don't elves sweat? I can't remember seeing a speck of dust, dirt, or sweat on any of them...
posted by konolia at 4:20 PM on January 7, 2003


/sadly predictable reaction from the over 35 female demographic

I thought you all had orders to swoon over Legolas. Or is he for the 18-35 segment?


Speaking as a member of the 18-35-year-old female demographic, give me Aragorn over Legolas any day (though I would hardly refuse Legolas).
My sister's 15-year-old friends are evenly split.
The only 18-35 gay male consulted prefers Legolas.
posted by hippugeek at 10:15 PM on January 7, 2003


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