Easy Money

January 22, 2003 4:17 PM

Easy Money. "My basic theory can be summed up in the following few words: "In that part of this world that we are unable to experience, 'True Suction' does exist." "I will pay two thousand dollars to the first person that proves the basis of this (my theory) is wrong... Also, to show how certain I am that this is right, I will pay one thousand dollars to the first person that can prove any one, or more, of the fifteen following statements is false. If you earn the reward I will pay it". I like #15: ""Every person living on this planet has been alive, at the very least, for several million years". Get some.
posted by Mack Twain (35 comments total)

"Christ, I've gone blind!"
posted by thekorruptor at 4:21 PM on January 22, 2003

For proof, scroll down 1/3 the way to rewards and read numbers 2. 3. 7. 12. 13....
Scroll down 2/3 of the way to "Gravity."...
To understand true suction scroll down 1/2 the way....

I think someone needs to be introduced to the theory of hypertext anchors.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:22 PM on January 22, 2003

my eyes are burning
posted by Hall at 4:24 PM on January 22, 2003

You can use HTML for good or awesome. Which will you choose?
posted by holloway at 4:24 PM on January 22, 2003

Why is it that websites built by kooks are always so ugly?

Aren't there any kooks with good taste?
posted by bshort at 4:29 PM on January 22, 2003

This site reminds me so much of this fine work.
posted by hammurderer at 4:32 PM on January 22, 2003

This Truly Sucks
posted by Pretty_Generic at 4:33 PM on January 22, 2003

To understand true suction scroll down 1/2 the way to...

"True Suction"

Oh, believe me dude, by this point you've already done a fine job of helping me to understand what true suction really is...
posted by mathis23 at 4:37 PM on January 22, 2003

Holy crap! Do you understand the implications of True Suction to Time Cube theory?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 4:46 PM on January 22, 2003

MeFi blue looks so very pale and bland after that site...I think I burned my retinas...
posted by Orange Goblin at 4:50 PM on January 22, 2003

The first very important reason that I must be on the right track, is the fact that the last thing I thought I knew was that the atom was like a miniature solar-system made up of indivisible particles.

He doesn't mention the word "quark" on his website. I wonder if he's heard about them.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 4:53 PM on January 22, 2003

In 1954 someone suggested I read the book "The Universe and DR. ''Einstein;" so if I quote something, it probably came from this book.

Priceless. Fucking priceless.
posted by mathis23 at 4:54 PM on January 22, 2003

This fellow certainly scores high on the crackpot index.
posted by scribblative at 5:01 PM on January 22, 2003

"If you use color to convey information, make sure the information is also represented another way. (628 instances)"
posted by staggernation at 5:07 PM on January 22, 2003

So we just make sure something is always going in all directions, regardless of what direction we think we are going.

Pretty much sums it up for me.
posted by newlydead at 5:14 PM on January 22, 2003

So did anyone else read the whole thing? Does your head hurt too?

Space relative to itself is a solid. When you try to digest all this, just remember that in our world a true solid does not exist, so do not associate our kind of a solid with a true solid.

[Explodes]

Anyway, I love how the fact that if he says something that science has known for 50 years, but he wasn't aware of it, it's the same as him predicting it in the first place. I don't remember being taught who the author of The Three Musketeers is, but that doesn't mean I plucked it out of thin air either.
posted by Hildago at 5:54 PM on January 22, 2003

Aren't there any kooks with good taste?

The most beautiful manuscript in the world (see also the CODEX SERAPHINIANVS.) I suppose that being totally incomprehensible isn't quite the same as being totally wrong.
posted by Wood at 5:58 PM on January 22, 2003

(I make mistakes, but mostly because I think one thing and print something else.)

That's what I told my sixth grade English teacher. She didn't buy it either.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 6:13 PM on January 22, 2003

Oh, come on, people! Can't we learn to accept the Differently Intelligenced?!?
posted by dilettanti at 6:31 PM on January 22, 2003

So did anyone else read the whole thing? Does your head hurt too?

I predicted this would appear on the web and everyone over a million years old would read the whole thing. There, that proves it.
posted by newlydead at 6:54 PM on January 22, 2003

Shades of Dr. Bronner.

DILUTE! DILUTE!
posted by agentfresh at 7:35 PM on January 22, 2003

If the Internet deserves any praise, it is that it has allowed the heretofore hidden recesses of loony minds to become known to the rest of the world.

True suction--you don't even need a joke; it's just that good.
posted by vraxoin at 7:38 PM on January 22, 2003

This guy should get together with Alex Chiu.
posted by gyc at 7:49 PM on January 22, 2003

Alex Chiu's "New Darwinism" is quite the...er.. theory.

Also: I too am blind. When I came back to mefi, it was grey. Like metatalk. Ack.
posted by jaded at 8:05 PM on January 22, 2003

purple monkey dishwasher...
posted by LoopSouth at 8:10 PM on January 22, 2003

I know the "Gravity Probe B" will get results. (If anything disastrous happens to this test I will believe it to be a cover up, because more testing would prove my theory.)

'Nuff said.
posted by Johnny Assay at 9:30 PM on January 22, 2003

Besides the theories and the choice of colors, I was particularly drawn to these two statements:
1. "I don't do research. Time is proving that there is no need to, and more important...the more I can predict with no prior knowledge...is additional proof that this theory is right. This is why I do not do research".
2. "My theory is the only explanation there could be that does not, itself, have to have an explanation". Seems pretty damn reasonable when you think about it...
posted by Mack Twain at 10:59 PM on January 22, 2003

agentfresh, don't you mean "DILUTE! DILUTE! OK!"?
posted by adamgreenfield at 12:20 AM on January 23, 2003

Let's not insult Dr. Bronner, who put out a fine soap and was a clever enough chap to escape from a mental institution on three separate occasions, by comparing him with this fellow.
posted by Pseudoephedrine at 1:03 AM on January 23, 2003

Great Wits are sure to Madness near ally'd;
And thin Partitions do their Bounds divide - John Dryden (1681)
posted by planetkyoto at 2:00 AM on January 23, 2003

13. "A star at the center of a galaxy or star cluster (if the cluster is large enough) does not need anything to orbit around if gravity is a push." Am I the only one that can understand this?

"My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them."
-- Penn Jillette

Oh, and here's a link to Dr. Bronner, who would have definitely called this guy a crackpot...
posted by mmoncur at 3:51 AM on January 23, 2003

the push/suck stuff reminded me of the riff in gravity's rainbow which explains how lightbulbs suck darkness. it all makes sense...
(and has anyone done the experiment he describes about blowing the disk off the end of a tube? - sounds like fun)
posted by andrew cooke at 6:43 AM on January 23, 2003

Thanks--This thread was a hoot!
posted by Shane at 7:09 AM on January 23, 2003

Sheesh! what happened to this guy in 1964 ?....
posted by Incubus.exe at 2:23 PM on January 23, 2003

Maybe a pink laser fried his brain.
posted by solistrato at 6:05 PM on January 23, 2003