On June 1st, 1984, Jeff VanderMeer set out on a Quixotic quest to enter the Guiness Book of World Records as the only non-bestselling author to be published in every soccer-playing country in the world. Although VanderMeer admits that many countries remain to be conquered and some countries, regrettably, have ceased to exist since 1984, progress has been made…
Capital : Al Sharpton's Brain
Rationale For Targeting : If Jeff could get published in Al Sharpton's brain, it would represent the realization of a life-long recurring nightmare which haunts his sleep every other week.
You do know that no one ever asks these kinds of questions, right? That this whole frequently-asked-questions page has been devoted to questions no one will ever want the answer to?
Yes, I do. It all has to do with being mean and wanting to stay obscure. No one ever asks me any questions, to be honest. I never get any fan mail, either. And I'm not really certain anyone out there has read my work. I once got a letter in the mail addressed to "Johnny Vandermeer" and I was so desperate for a fan letter that I opened it up and sucked out its essence like it was an oyster. Then I sat there in the dark of my room in the basement of the abandoned used car lot and cried my eyes out...
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