Patron Saint of the Internet

January 31, 2003 12:06 PM

Shawn Fanning - Patron Saint of the Internet?Fed up with hackers, a flood of spam and lousy connections, a group of Roman Catholics have launched a search to determine the Patron Saint of the Internet. Actually, I vote for Danni Ashe. I can't wait to see what her miracles are like...
posted by mathis23 (17 comments total)

Miss Ashe is a miraculous occurence all by herself, if you ask me.
posted by jonmc at 12:15 PM on January 31, 2003

I second the Danni Ashe nomination. She was indirectly responsible for a stain on an old sock of mine that looked like the Virgin Mary.
posted by jonson at 12:16 PM on January 31, 2003

Ya know... I coulda swore there was already some semi-official non-joke one already. (It might have even Isadore.) I'd seen reference to it a few years ago.
posted by KnitWit at 12:19 PM on January 31, 2003

Though if we're taking nominations I'd like a tough bruizer to go and smite pop-up advertisers...
posted by KnitWit at 12:21 PM on January 31, 2003

I think KnitWit is right about Isadore. From August 20, 2001: Saints preserve us! There is even a prayer.

per intercessiónem Sancti Isidóri, Epíscopi et Doctóris, in peregrinatiónibus per interrete factis et manus oculósque ad quae Tibi sunt plácita intendámus et omnes quos convénimus cum caritáte ac patiéntia accipiámus.
posted by putzface_dickman at 12:26 PM on January 31, 2003

I'd like to cast a vote for John Stamos. I am not sure what he has to do with the net, but his hair is amazing.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 12:27 PM on January 31, 2003

In Count Zero, William Gibson put forth Legba as the patron voodoo deity of the 'Net:

...most important are Legba and Ezili Freda. Appropriately enough for a novel about computers, the former is the Loa of communications and is associated with Bobby, the console cowboy. Legba is identified with St. Peter, Christian doorkeeper of heaven, and in voodoo rituals must always be invoked first; if not, the other Loa might not listen.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 12:34 PM on January 31, 2003

You can vote here. Can't speak Italian? Try this.
posted by grahamwell at 1:06 PM on January 31, 2003

Benedict Joeph Labre
Patronage: bachelors, beggars, hoboes, homeless people, insanity, mental illness, mentally ill people, people rejected by religious orders, pilgrims, tramps, unmarried men

thanks jonson, jeez...
posted by gottabefunky at 1:21 PM on January 31, 2003

I think the proper choice would be obvious. He's even risen from the dead in this medium!
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:21 PM on January 31, 2003

St. Al Gore. After all, he did invent the Internet.
posted by orange swan at 1:48 PM on January 31, 2003

I vote for St. King Diamond. So do these internet pioneers.
posted by bunnytricks at 2:06 PM on January 31, 2003

Being named a saint isn't like being knighted, you know. You have to perform a miracle and be dead (and supposedly in heaven) and all that first..
posted by valerie at 2:32 PM on January 31, 2003

King Diamond managed to find a woman willing to have his kid. That's a miracle. And he looks like a zombie to me. That's even better than being dead.

Hell, the church let Mother Teresa be a saint with less under her belt.
posted by bunnytricks at 2:42 PM on January 31, 2003

You have to perform a miracle and be dead (and supposedly in heaven) and all that first..

Hel-lo? Mr. Wil? Dead? Came back to life? Via the 'net? He was in the heavens, so to speak. Hello McFly? Does no one care? Am I the only advocate? Sigh.

I want my dashboard statue NOW!
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:18 PM on January 31, 2003

I have a glow-in-the-dark statuette of st. isadore holding a laptop, so there's definitely already a little industry for such things. (And isadore won for patronage of the internet.)
posted by mdn at 3:26 PM on January 31, 2003

Hell, the church let Mother Teresa be a saint with less under her belt.

Actually, she's still being processed.

[/small voice of logic in wonderfully silly thread]
posted by hippugeek at 7:19 PM on February 2, 2003