John Higgins turns self in after viewing marijuana = terrorism ad

February 8, 2003 9:55 AM

John Higgins - Mayor of Amherst and famous race car-driving dingo expert - was born and grew up in Scotland. His online shop sells all kinds of Scottish clothing. As a self-taught artist in drawing and watercoloring, John Higgins illustrated the children's book "Handsome Me." Puppeteer. Linux fanatic. Admitted crier. Known as the "Wizard of Wishaw," in Hong Kong they worship him as a god, but the only thing he ever wanted to be in life was a chef. Send a message to John Higgins. He recently quit his job and stays at home all day playing the sitar. His neighbors are concerned. He may just be the most sarcastic man on Earth, having turned himself in after viewing a marijuana = terrorism commercial.
posted by son_of_minya (11 comments total)

The self-taught link mentions his wife's name is Nicola. This might be weird, but Nicola who? I'm just reminded of Nicola Tyson, the watercolor artist. Hm.
posted by ifjuly at 10:13 AM on February 8, 2003

Er, nevermind.
posted by ifjuly at 10:16 AM on February 8, 2003

Um.... This is a joke... right?

I really don't know what the hell to make of your post there, son_of_minya. At first I thought "cool! this guy is really a renaissance man." But as I followed the links, it became obvious that there's no way that all these John Higginses are the same guy. Compare the pictures of John from the "self-taught artist" link, the "playing the sitar" link and the "a chef" link. Definitely not the same face. Plus, his address changes with every article. And blah blah blah.

Now I feel like Chandler from Friends saying "Imagine that - coffee in a fight... HA HAR HA HAR HAR." You made a joke and it took me twenty minutes of perusing the cool links to get it. But why is this funny?

At least the dingoes article was cool, though.
posted by Jonasio at 10:51 AM on February 8, 2003

Meet Brad Thomas. He loves Good Times, his batting style is right handed, he's a systems programmer for the University of Wyoming, and he wants your vote. He has a Ph.D, a baseball card, likes to call himself a Pastor, runs a gallery, and designs furniture. Sometimes, he likes to sing, dance, and act.
posted by bradth27 at 11:22 AM on February 8, 2003

Imagine that--a whole lot of people are named John Higgins. But HOW MANY? I decided to find out . . .

Since the U.S. census data is readily available, I'll use that.

Okay, so in the U.S., .03% of all people have the last name Higgins. By the same token, 3.271% of males in the U.S. have the first name John. There are currently about 138,000,000 males in the U.S.

If I've done my math right, that means that there are about 1,350 people in the U.S. alone named John Higgins.

Since 59.7% of U.S. citizens have Internet access, that means that there are roughly 806 John Higgenses that you could potentially include in this link. Since you've only included twenty, and you had the whole planet to pick from, I say this FPP is a loser.

Using the same math, there are roughly nine people in the U.S. with my name, Matthew Sturges.

How about you?
posted by vraxoin at 11:32 AM on February 8, 2003

Jonasio:

Compare the pictures of John from the "self-taught artist" link, the "playing the sitar" link and the "a chef" link. Definitely not the same face. Plus, his address changes with every article.

How do you explain Robert DeNiro? He put on 50 pounds to play the older Jake La Motta in Raging Bull. IMDB has 93 movies listed that he's been in. Is it possible that he could be 93 different people?

No, there is no way Robert DeNiro could possibly be 93 different people.
posted by son_of_minya at 11:54 AM on February 8, 2003

bradth27:

Brad Thomas is a scary looking guy. What is he thinking in that picture? There wasn't sitar music playing in the background by the time I got to the last link, but that was still a pretty interesting collection of links.
posted by son_of_minya at 11:55 AM on February 8, 2003

vraxoin:

If I've done my math right, that means that there are about 1,350 people in the U.S. alone named John Higgins.

What you fail to realize is that you just made a pretty profound statement. How did you get to that point? I'd really like to have experienced that from inside your head. It must have been a magical moment when you came up with the exact number. I say that makes this FPP a winner.

Was looking for a better article about the guy turning himself in for marijuana possession when I came across this:

John Higgins is a former newspaper editor turned winemaker, whose work on carnivores,
specifically the feral pumas of south-eastern Australia, has been recognized by major
zoos and museums.

Something clicked, so I put together an interesting collection of links, arranged in such a way as to carry one through an emotional journey. If you don't get it, try smoking some weed and looking again. Or just pretend that you're British. It will blow your mind.

Was hoping some serious discussion would take place here, like 1) Did John Higgins really think he was helping terrorists? Or 2) Should people post to MetaFilter while stoned?
posted by son_of_minya at 11:56 AM on February 8, 2003

Should people post to MetaFilter while stoned?

Only if they can make sense... signs point to no.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 2:49 PM on February 8, 2003

Should people post to MetaFilter while stoned?

The same effect can be achieved through a listen to a Hawkwind album. (I can not be held responsible, however, if you swallow your tongue.)
posted by sharksandwich at 5:24 PM on February 8, 2003

For the record, I enjoyed the FPP, and am not stoned.
posted by freebird at 6:19 PM on February 8, 2003