I Hate Music

February 12, 2003 6:19 AM

I Hate Musicis a page devoted to scathing commentary on popular music and the musicians who make it. The author let's loose such gems as: Face it, every single note of music ever committed to paper, vinyl, CD, zeroes and ones sucks harder than Linda Lovelace in a sucking competition with a black hole. There is absolutely nothing going for music. It just plain sucks. (found here) Don't miss out on the very comprehensive archives.
posted by ashbury (23 comments total)

Ah, cynicism!
posted by eustacescrubb at 6:23 AM on February 12, 2003

Funny stuff. I love the Sigur Ros post:
Come on people, did we not learn our lesson with Bjork? Iceland is full of evil, evil people who think nothing of drinking a skin full of Eagle Lager and pitching themselves off of buildings.

She's full of it, too. No one who hates music could possibly spend that much time and energy shopping for it, downloading it, educating themselves about it, listening to it, writing about it, and loathing it. Unless, of course, she's completely insane. I think she's just clever.
posted by iconomy at 6:30 AM on February 12, 2003

There is absolutely nothing going for music. It just plain sucks.
There is absolutely nothing going for this website. It just plain sucks.
posted by metaxa at 6:35 AM on February 12, 2003

A for concept, C- for execution. I love the idea of this thing, but most of her screeds are singularly unfunny, to wit:

The only difference between Elastica and The Strokes is that The Strokes are actually fronted by a man - albeit a weedy whiny one who went to a finishing school. Pity they didn't finish him off.

So many of these posts just seem tired and lack any kind of wit or imagination.
posted by psmealey at 6:44 AM on February 12, 2003

"Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."

And those who can't teach go write cranky, bitter web sites.

YALAMIC (yet another "look at me, I'm cranky") site
posted by Ayn Marx at 6:45 AM on February 12, 2003

"Just what is you want to do, Bobby?"
"Well Tanya, what I really want to do is get the indie boys and girls onto the dance floor and make them dance like demented scarecrows trying to rid themselves of arse-jammed pike-staffs. Preferably for the next 10 years".

There's a few good laughs here. Apparently screamadelica was the big inspiration...
posted by foot at 6:50 AM on February 12, 2003

Excellent. Tanya Headon rules. I wonder if she's married....

Also worth checking out: One Hundred Albums You Should Remove from Your Collection Immediately

C'mon guys, let's face it, we all love our rock and roll, but fine art it ain't. Isn't it a fun exercise to once in awhile to dissect the things we love as to see them in a new light (or at least just to flex our objectivity)? I suspect Headon has a pretty profound love for music in fact, otherwise she wouldn't be "killing her darlings".
posted by dhoyt at 6:58 AM on February 12, 2003

It's been a while since freakytrigger came up. For more discussion:

February 26, 2002
June 21, 2001
January 18, 2001


(no, I'm not really bothered by the repeat post, as it's been a while--I'm just pointing out other discussions)
posted by frykitty at 7:07 AM on February 12, 2003

yyyeah. anyways.
posted by mcsweetie at 7:10 AM on February 12, 2003

I Hate Music...

It's Got Too Many Notes.....
posted by jonmc at 7:25 AM on February 12, 2003

otherwise she wouldn't be "killing her darlings".

"Kill your darlings" refers to exercising self-discipline in writing, something clearly not in occurring in her world.
posted by Ayn Marx at 7:30 AM on February 12, 2003

frykitty, my apologies. The URL I used didn't show up in a search and it didn't occur to me that the site would have different addresses. My bad. Oh well, so long, post. *sheds one silent tear*
posted by ashbury at 7:33 AM on February 12, 2003

We had to switch from freaktrigger.com to freakytrigger.co.uk cos I screwed up my registration payments.
posted by freakytrigger at 7:39 AM on February 12, 2003

This reminds me of that guy who says he can draw better pictures than your kindergartner - I can't find that thread, but you folks know the one I'm talking about, right? OK, so imagine that page (and the others on that site), only not nearly as funny, and you've got this one.
posted by soyjoy at 8:51 AM on February 12, 2003

Some of the criticisms fall flat, but I was laughing out loud at the description of Cobain's suicide as a "unique way of clearing his sinus problem".
posted by angry modem at 10:00 AM on February 12, 2003

Yet, week on week, Tanya is listening to all that awful music! That's brill!

I enjoyed the whit. Oooops, wit. I agree with iconomy about her Sigur Ros observation! Brill again! Go ahead and live in Iceland then and see how long you last!

I enjoyed the associations she made and consider her reviews to be quite... accurate[?] telling [?], I agree, all U2 is shit! :)

What has me concerned is that she reminds me sooooo much of my current gf, who claims to hate all people [99.9%!] giving me examples A & B etc., yet, when we go out to parties, "conspires" with me when we talk to everyone, strangers included, seeking the diamonds in the rough.

Underneath it all, there is a compassionate heart and soul, a real softee! On the surface, she's a Tanya [that isn't Donelly is it?!] tough talkin'.

I understand how dhoyt feels! And "killing her darlings" is a fucking brill observation too!

I equally enjoyed jaguaro's One Hundred Albums You Should Dump Immediately also.

A light went on in his review of the Pulp Fiction Soundtrack
It was inevitable to have this in '94, but now you're over the cheeky Neil Diamond cover, you've heard "Miserlou" 800 times, and you've bought Al Green's Greatest Hits. It's time to get on with your life, isn't it?

I am not over Neil Diamond and I joined a drum corps in grade school because I heard them play "Miserlou"! All those horns! I wanna play too! And I do own Al Green's Greatest Hits! Great associations! Is this why I bought Al?

On his Nirvana Nevermind spiel saying listen to the Pixies instead, hey, I have their remixes! Lov'em.... only because of Bjork though, that irratating male vocal over Bjork's is seriously irratating. [oh-oh, am sounding like gf now! Or is that like Tanya?] [Jane? is that you??!]

I do object to her "visual" regarding all music sucks harder than Linda Lovelace, considering we know the real story behind Linda
Lovelace Boreman Marchiano, don't we?

Oh, I enjoy all kinds of music and the references associated, IMM, in any case. A wonderful topic and links, which had me LOL.
posted by alicesshoe at 10:45 AM on February 12, 2003

soyjoy: I am better than your kids. Brought to you by The Best Page In The Universe.
posted by toothless joe at 11:03 AM on February 12, 2003

Thanks, toothless joe. I guess I prefer the purity and simplicity of Maddox's hatreds (e.g. this one) to Tanya's thinly-disguised appreciations.
posted by soyjoy at 11:56 AM on February 12, 2003

STEREOLAB

ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba socialism ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

C'mon, you gotta agree this is funny!
posted by landock at 1:11 PM on February 12, 2003

On his Nirvana Nevermind spiel saying listen to the Pixies instead, hey, I have their remixes! Lov'em.... only because of Bjork though, that irratating male vocal over Bjork's is seriously irratating.

I think you either have the Pixies confused with the Sugarcubes, or Bjork confused with Kim Deal.
posted by turaho at 1:24 PM on February 12, 2003

Damn!


Thanks turaho, I did confuse Pixies with Sugarcubes!

I'll step away from the counter now.
posted by alicesshoe at 2:36 PM on February 12, 2003

but, i like music...
posted by sophist at 4:27 PM on February 12, 2003

"Weller," I snarled, and reached for my shotgun. Tanya's Christmas Carol. I came across this years ago and cried with laughter. Surely her finest hour.
posted by gdav at 4:44 PM on February 12, 2003