Guaranteed subservience to you in event of afterlife also packaged.

February 13, 2003 11:18 AM

The horned gentleman in red bids 10 dollars...any other bids? I, the Reverend Constantine, would like YOU to purchase my eternal soul. It is free from sin, including original sin! With these words, an unusual ebay auction has begun. Our very own pretty_generic has decided, as part of a general slimming down and casting off of excess baggage, to rid himself of his soul, to the highest bidder, of course. We all remember what happened when Bart sold his soul. Are we going to be condemning pretty to horrors without end, in this life and the next? Or is the soul just a fiction? Let the bidding begin!!!
And perhaps the best part of buying his soul? This, of course: Guaranteed subservience to you in event of afterlife also packaged.
posted by amberglow (15 comments total)

I hate to be a party-pooper... oh, wait, no I don't. Not only is this not new or clever, it's also practically guaranteed to be pulled by eBay, as they have pulled similar auctions in the past. What year is it, again?
posted by starvingartist at 11:21 AM on February 13, 2003

So I take it he ain't using it.
posted by konolia at 11:23 AM on February 13, 2003

Oh. I thought he meant his collection of soul LP's.

Never mind.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:25 AM on February 13, 2003

It's the subservience I'm bidding for, the soul really isn't needed. Maybe I'll split it out and resell it once I've won the initial auction.
posted by Salmonberry at 11:27 AM on February 13, 2003

It is free from sin, including original sin!

Wow, a second Immaculate Conception. Move over, Jesus!
posted by Skot at 11:29 AM on February 13, 2003

seconds until the vagina carrot auction gets posted: 5,4,3,2,1...
posted by machaus at 11:34 AM on February 13, 2003

fwiw - 'And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.'
posted by mhjb at 11:35 AM on February 13, 2003

If you buy his soul, you'll own the soul of a #mefi op, that's gotta mean something right?
posted by riffola at 11:37 AM on February 13, 2003

I don't know...it might be like supermarket coupons--Actual cash value: $.002.

It's also mirrored here, just in case.
posted by amberglow at 11:41 AM on February 13, 2003

Wow. That price is a little steep, huh?
posted by eyeballkid at 11:43 AM on February 13, 2003

If I recall correctly, eBay pulls these auctions because:

A) If the soul does not exist, then the seller is selling nothing, which is against eBay policies

B) If the soul DOES exist, then the seller is selling a body part, which is also against eBay policies.

So, at least metaphysically speaking, eBay is covered either way.
posted by bdk3clash at 11:44 AM on February 13, 2003

Technically this is just spam as far as I'm concerned.
posted by 111 at 11:45 AM on February 13, 2003

this is the first overt move in the planned #mefi takeover of metafilter. be alert. be an orange lert.

''And the vegetable god formed carrot of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the vagina of life...
posted by quonsar at 11:51 AM on February 13, 2003

But the soul is no a body part...it is more along the lines of intellectual property I think. And since pretty currently owns the rights to the whole, he should be able to sell and transfer ownership.

Plus with the subservience!
posted by Salmonberry at 11:51 AM on February 13, 2003

The Shroud of Turin!

Void where prohibited. Restrictions may apply. Keep out of reach of children.
posted by angry modem at 12:10 PM on February 13, 2003