The Unrepentant Necrophile
February 13, 2003 11:20 PM   Subscribe

Having a hard time with Valentine's Day? Things could be worse. (warning: not for the weak of stomach.)
posted by alms (35 comments total)
 
fascinating... disturbing, but fascinating.
posted by jonson at 11:29 PM on February 13, 2003


Alrighty, I guess I'll be the first to link to Sexy Losers. [nsfw, or anyone]
posted by Stan Chin at 11:32 PM on February 13, 2003


Boyfriends knew she f*cked dead bodeis?

WTF?

You don't go out with a girl who does that, you section her.

Chop her head off. She's weird.
posted by Frasermoo at 1:34 AM on February 14, 2003


But will she still respect them in the mourning?
posted by planetkyoto at 2:26 AM on February 14, 2003


planetkyoto: The door is <---- thaddaway. :)
posted by metaxa at 2:40 AM on February 14, 2003


There is also this attraction to blood. When you're on top of a body it tends to purge blood out of its mouth, while you're making passionate love .. You'd have to be there, I guess.

I guess so.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:47 AM on February 14, 2003


Ahh, so that's what nsfw means. Ooops. Gissa job.

Great link alms.
posted by squealy at 2:49 AM on February 14, 2003


Beautiful. Fantastic link, alms.
posted by Jairus at 3:29 AM on February 14, 2003


I love stories like this. I don't even feel like a pervert anymore.
posted by vito90 at 6:46 AM on February 14, 2003


Well, isn't that nice. How about a movie about it, too?

Glad to see it's still doing well.
posted by Busithoth at 7:17 AM on February 14, 2003


She's hot and bold
He's stiff and cold
Skip the palaver
Love a cadaver
He never says a thing
posted by orange swan at 7:20 AM on February 14, 2003


I liked this part:

One time this bunch of religious fanatics held a funeral for one of their members...They were preying and slapping the body. They were talking in tongues. That was weird!

Yes, Karen...weird...

There was a film based on this women made in 1996 called Kissed. I saw it on the Independent Film Channel. It was about a woman who could only experience satisfying intimacy with young dead men and it was clearly inspired by this woman's life. It also introduced me to the notion that necrophilia was a lot more common in the mortuary business than is often thought (Basically all the mortuary workers in the movie are suggested to be either necros or used to it among their colleagues). Later, I saw an A&E special on mortuary work where they talked about how they needed to bathe the naked corpse from head-to-toe with soapy water as part of its preparation. I think my view of that process was (for better or worse) tainted by my exposure to Kissed.
posted by dgaicun at 7:43 AM on February 14, 2003


Oh, Sorry for the echo Busithoth
posted by dgaicun at 7:44 AM on February 14, 2003


I know this woman is totally a mess psychologically, but I was really, really irritated by her assertions that necrophilia is what works for her so it's fine. Uh, that argument works when one wants to have sex with plush animals or dress up like Peter Pan. She seems to not have considered or care at all that it doesn't "work" for the family and friends of the deceased nor for owners of the funeral homes she's breaking into, to say nothing of respect for what the now deceased person would have wanted.
posted by orange swan at 8:31 AM on February 14, 2003


...to say nothing of respect for what the now deceased person would have wanted.

Which is why I have a tattoo on my chest that says "Don't even THINK about having sex with this corpse. Also, I'd like the strawberry embalming fluid please."
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:38 AM on February 14, 2003


I don't know if that would work, PinkStainlessTail. This is a woman to whom locked doors and legal prohibitions does not mean no, to whom embalmed and decomposing does not mean "incredibly not sexy". Tattoos probably aren't taken at literal value either.
posted by orange swan at 8:56 AM on February 14, 2003


It's all Alice Cooper's fault.
posted by konolia at 9:01 AM on February 14, 2003


...gives a whole meaning to the term "dead sexy"...
posted by taz at 9:03 AM on February 14, 2003


I believe this is almost word for word from Apocalypse Culture, published by Feral House. Highly recommended reading if you are interested in those truly way out instead of your garden variety counterculture. Sorry no deeper links, but apparently the school proxy server is now banning the Feral House site.
posted by spartacusroosevelt at 9:18 AM on February 14, 2003


I never got along with the girls at my school
Filling me up with all their morals and their rules
They'd pile all their problems on my head
I'd rather go out and fuck the dead
'Cause I can do what I want and they won't complain
I wanna fuck I wanna fuck the dead
Middle of the night so silently
I creep on over to the mortuary
Lift up the casket and fiddle with the dead
Their cold blue flesh makes me turn red
'Cause I can do what I want and they won't complain
I wanna fuck I wanna fuck the dead
And I don't even care how she died...
But I like it better if she smells of formaldehyde!
Never on the rag or say leave me alone
They don't scream and they don't moan
Don't even cry if I shoot in their hair
Lying on the table she smiles and she stares
posted by guyincognito at 9:37 AM on February 14, 2003


Um . . . how was she able have sex with the male cadavers? Wouldn't they have performance issues?
posted by aladfar at 9:44 AM on February 14, 2003


I don't know if that would work, PinkStainlessTail.

You're right, which is why I've been in consultation with a group of renegade Imagineers. I'm having the first round of servos installed on Tuesday. She may like to do it with deaders, but what about those who even in death WON'T STOP MOVING AROUND LIKE A ROBOTIC LINCOLN ON CRACK?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:45 AM on February 14, 2003


bleah, that really did make me feel sick. But I can't exactly explain it reasonably - orange swan's suggestion that it isn't fair to the family/the deceased is probably part of it, but I'm not sure I'd be that much more comfortable if the deceased had ticked a box next to 'organ donor' that said 'necrophilia ok.' Actually, that might help. Still, the idea that someone would want the cold dead body of a stranger as an object of sex is just incomprehensible to me. But it's not like she's doing direct harm...
posted by mdn at 9:45 AM on February 14, 2003


Now you just might be on to an effective safeguard, PinkStainlessTail.

Me, I'm having my family dump me onto a funeral pyre in the back yard. They can roast some weenies over my flaming ass if they want, just as long as they don't turn me over to those funeral home creepos.

The idea that someone would want the cold dead body of a stranger as an object of sex is just incomprehensible to me

Better the corpse that you know, huh mdn?
posted by orange swan at 10:09 AM on February 14, 2003


A gem. This ranks right up there with that electronic masturbation site. Thx, alms!
posted by widdershins at 11:46 AM on February 14, 2003


that was awesome. and i'm glad her picture was no where to be found to ruin the moment.

and orange, i just must disagree. a dead person is a sack of shit. do with it as you will. my father will be buried in a cardboard box out in the back 40. if any creepies want to locate that, well, good luck. and when i'm dead, uh, i'll be dead.
posted by kid_twist at 12:56 PM on February 14, 2003


Necrophilia: The strong desire to pop open a cold one.
posted by spatula at 1:50 PM on February 14, 2003


Better the corpse that you know, huh mdn?

at least that could be attributed to a denial of a loved one's death or something, instead of an actual desire for rotting flesh.
posted by mdn at 3:11 PM on February 14, 2003


Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry.
posted by emmling at 4:22 PM on February 14, 2003


When I was boxed and laid to rest beneath the lily field,
I didn’t know that there were those to whom the dead appealed.
The earthworms and bacteria have left their marks behind,
But if someone can love me still, I’m sure that I won’t mind.

It might be just my luck some weirdo will choose me for the one,
And dig me up each evening long enough to have his fun.

And now some drunken sailor has decided to get fresh,
In spite of my protruding bones and decomposing flesh.
I lie there, only watching, as I often did in life.
But to him my unresponsiveness makes me the perfect wife.

And it was just my luck some weirdo would choose me for the one.
He digs me up each evening long enough to have his fun.

Now all you ladies worried that your love will be untrue,
And all you men who want a girl who won’t care what you do,
Just take your cue from Faulkner, or from Poul and Passovoy,
And find some dear departed whose cadaver to enjoy.
posted by Nothing at 10:40 PM on February 14, 2003


When I saw Quills a couple of years ago, I think I began to realize in the slightest way how a person might be able to do something like this. You were so in love with the person in life, yadda yadda. But this completely departs from my little version of reality. I mean, death smells VILE! VILE, I TELL YOU!

Ahem. Perhaps it's something in the embalming fluid that affects her brain that way.

Aladfar, nobody's said it yet so I guess I'll go there.... That's why they call 'em stiffs.
posted by Jonasio at 10:53 PM on February 14, 2003


Damn, I'm sorry I said that now.
posted by Jonasio at 10:54 PM on February 14, 2003


Did you write that Nothing? That was awesome.
posted by dgaicun at 2:47 PM on February 15, 2003


You too guyincognito. Jesus you people are creative.
posted by dgaicun at 2:49 PM on February 15, 2003


Alas, no, it's by Bob Kanefsky. There's an mp3 of it at mp3.com.
posted by Nothing at 3:31 PM on February 15, 2003


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