flake-o'-the-day

February 19, 2003 11:59 AM

Our Almighty Father Indeed Did'nt Write His Bible For Toilet Paper!FOXY RELIGIONIST-POLITICAL discrimination for Inhuman Economic Exploitation forever prevails against our so-called "World's 'Minorities'" so perpetually deprived of Their God-given Most Primordial and Quintessential Human Rights and Property - AND THIS IS INDEED A FIRST-CLASS DOLLAR-CAMOUFLAGED EVIL.
posted by MrMoonPie (24 comments total)

SAYING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IS ALWAYS MORE IMPRESSIVE AND BELIEVABLE WHEN WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS WITH UNDERLINE. ADD A FEW WORDS IN RED AND YOU'RE PREACHING THE GOSPEL.

Too bad the blink tag doesn't work. Now would someone please explain to me what this all means?
posted by VelvetHellvis at 12:08 PM on February 19, 2003

Ask this guy.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:15 PM on February 19, 2003

VelvetHellvis, you forgot the Capitalised Letters of Important Words. Like in Winnie the Pooh, you know?
posted by some chick at 12:17 PM on February 19, 2003

"Only TRUE PRAYER can save our Country"

Well shit. That's easy.

"Dear Lord, please speed the wheels of justice so that President Bush and his minions may be banished from power."
posted by y6y6y6 at 12:26 PM on February 19, 2003

My post on Pat Robertson gets banished but Matt leaves this guy untouched. Sure, that's fair. ;-)
(note winking emoticon)
posted by stevefromsparks at 12:29 PM on February 19, 2003

He claims to be a medical doctor. He'd be the best doctor ever:

Patient: Doctor, I've been getting a twitch in my eye now and then.

Doctor Freedom: YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN POSSESSED BY DEMON-SNAKES! WAIT WHILE I GET MY BIBLE AND CLAW HAMMER!
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:51 PM on February 19, 2003

Don't worry, I don't think it will be here long. Ugly, incomprehensible post linking to ugly, incomprehensible sites... of course, I suppose it could be saved by good solid comments... *tries to think of something good and solid to say about this farrago, fails*
posted by languagehat at 12:51 PM on February 19, 2003

"(note winking emoticon)"

Note my contempt for your disingenuous wink and total failure to get it.

"I dunno if this quite makes the "interesting" cut."

In other words, your link to news about Mr Robertson is boring. Especially when we've talked about the idiot at length. On top of that you seemed to be suggesting he deserved cancer because of his spiritual beliefs. So... Dumb and boring.

In contrast, with this link we have such gems as: "Such Our Greedy Corporate Warfare, as our pietistic Silent Pseudo-American Legal Terrorism, forever constantly breeds more War and more Global Crime and Terrorism in return!" I have no idea what that means, but I read it four times just because it sounded so cool.

Or my favorite so far:

"Our Truly American Mission in Our God's World is nothing else but to build His Democratic Kingdom of Love: PRIMORDIALLY BASED ON HIS LOVING UNIVERSAL FUNCTIONAL LITERACY AS WELL AS ON HIS LOVING UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE INSURANCE COVERAGE"

He doesn't say where in the bible it talks about universal health care, but I think we can agree this is fun stuff.
posted by y6y6y6 at 1:10 PM on February 19, 2003

when i grow up i want to be an internet wacko.
posted by quonsar at 1:17 PM on February 19, 2003

erm, why does this drivel merit a fpp?
posted by quarsan at 1:23 PM on February 19, 2003

Fer Chrissakes, I just checked out the americanfreedom page, and it prompted me to load one of those Gator abominations. That alone should make this post nuke-worthy...
posted by Mr_Spook at 1:30 PM on February 19, 2003

when i grow up i want to be an internet wacko.

Sounds like you are headed the right direction if that's the dreams you aspire to!
posted by Pollomacho at 1:34 PM on February 19, 2003

why does this drivel merit a fpp?

Why does anything deserve a fpp? Jesus. I've tried to stay out of this fracas up until now, but here are my two cents: Anything is worthy of an fpp as long as the poster finds it interesting and it fits the particular norms of this community (i.e., not news, not iraq, not politically slanted, not self posting, not a repost.) If you really think that it's a bad post, bring it up in MetaTalk.

Sorry. Whew.
posted by mikrophon at 1:40 PM on February 19, 2003

But does he believe in Time Cube? :-)
posted by clevershark at 1:53 PM on February 19, 2003

I keep trying to click those links but they don't work. Is his site not compatible with Opera?
posted by vito90 at 2:25 PM on February 19, 2003

No, it's not compatible with Opera. Opera is Norwegian and is therefore part of "CORPORATE EURO-"AMERICA'S" COMMUNIST-LIKE PSEUDO- DEMOCRACY!"

(This post was made with Opera 6.02.)
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:32 PM on February 19, 2003

Vito90, those aren't hyperlinks. It's just text formatting because uppercase letters and underline make WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY SEEN REALLY IMPORTANT!

Can't you just imagine the author standing on a soap box at a busy downtown business district corner screaming at the top of his lungs, "THE GREEDY EVIL OF FALSE JUDEO-CHRISTIAN RELIGIONIST POLITICS PERPETUALLY EXPLOITS AND ENSLAVES, AND SO TERRORIZE, OUR POOR OF GOD'S WORLD."

I'll take internet wackos any day. Viva free speech!
posted by VelvetHellvis at 2:35 PM on February 19, 2003

quarsan - You seem to be under the impression that things are only post-worthy if they are news items covered by bbc.co.uk or guardian.co.uk. Others, and I'm including myself here, feel that being news from bbc.co.uk or guardian.co.uk (or cnn.com or news.yahoo.com, etc.) makes something particularly NOT post-worthy.

That is, there are many places that filter stories from the major news websites. Why use Metafilter for that? Metafilter works better for things that people normally would never find, that is, items NOT from major news websites.

I get plenty of news from other sources. I come here for something different. Like this tidbit of socio-economic insanity. Of course it's drivel. This is where you and I diverge.

You like to have things which are delineated as noteworthy by tidy columns and a descriptive headline. For you, worthy items do not fall outside the box defined by the editors at the BBC and the Guardian.

I prefer to have my life interrupted by occasional bits of drivel. I like to leave room for things to catch me off guard. Where you rely on crisp edges and easy to read fonts, I color outside the lines.

While we would probably have a fun time together at the pub chatting about things, you would leave feeling smug over the pomegranate stain on my shirt and my constant, peculiar use of the word "ass". I on the other hand would leave wondering if I should get up early and take photos of the morning fog on the bay (illegal now due to the terrorist threat), or lay in bed late and masturbate.

In short - The link merits an ffp because it's cool.
posted by y6y6y6 at 2:46 PM on February 19, 2003

why does this drivel merit a fpp?

That's what I want to know. Any internet wacko worth his [h1] tags should be able to cobble together a theory incorporating the Freemasons, Netzero, and Angelina Jolie (via everlasting blort).

Great stuff MrMoonPie!
posted by eddydamascene at 2:48 PM on February 19, 2003

Viva la Netloons!

Working on the 1000 monkeys + 1000 typewriters theory, one day one of these crazies is going to blunder across the meaning of life and provide humankind with the glorious, unifying raison d'etre it has sought for so long, and war shall be no more.
posted by RokkitNite at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2003

Hee. This post totally reminds me of the Dr. Bronner's soap labels.
posted by padraigin at 5:10 PM on February 19, 2003

Our Almighty Father Indeed Did'nt Write His Bible For Toilet Paper!

Of course not; the damn ink smears all over one's ass. Now, a shredded bible used in a hamster cage ... ;-P
posted by mischief at 7:47 PM on February 19, 2003

Foxy?
posted by sklero at 9:54 PM on February 19, 2003

Howling, barking, gibbering mad. Gotta love it.
posted by FormlessOne at 10:48 PM on February 19, 2003