Comments on: Great American Parade

Great American Parade

alms — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:01:20 -0800

The author of the worst novel ever published in the English language gamely submits to an interview by the Washington Post.

By: blueshammer

blueshammer — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:07:21 -0800

Hm. I thought the "worst book" trophy had already been claimed.

By: briank

briank — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:11:05 -0800

I didn't think Dave Eggers did interviews anymore.

By: anapestic

anapestic — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:13:22 -0800

I use "indeed" in casual conversation.

By: fishfucker

fishfucker — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:14:37 -0800

at least the guy finished a novel. that's a damn good start. now all he needs is really really kickass editor. really kickass. (honestly though, i'm always impressed by people who have the wherewithal to follow through on things -- music albums, novels, paintings, sculptures, programs -- even when those things are terribly lacking in talent. i actually like to pretend that the people who finish works the most often are those who are the poorest self-critics: because they don't realize they're making a gigantic pile of poo, they've got no problem carrying on with their efforts. of course, that's because i'm an egotistical asshole who thinks he's better than all of you. that's right: all of you.)

By: poopy

poopy — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:17:27 -0800

it wasn't all bad: Your book is printed on very white, shiny paper.

By: raysmj

raysmj — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:18:31 -0800

So this means my longtime idea for a novel - the world's first (Grisham-esque) economic development thriller - wouldn't fly?

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:19:46 -0800

Uhhmm, isn't Hubbard dead and buried in Helena, Mt? (At least Burrows tried to keep a touch with reality...)

By: elwoodwiles

elwoodwiles — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:21:36 -0800

briank: Ha! I loved this interview, this was great, thanks for the link. I loved how the reviewer felt like he should say something good about the book: Your book is printed on very white, shiny paper. Precious. Maybe I should order a copy just to have one. I can point to the bookshelf and tell dinner guests, "And there you will find the worst novel ever written in the english language."

By: wobh

wobh — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:22:07 -0800

What? How do they know I'm not a female born in 1981 and living in 90210. Prepare to embrace your creators in the stygian haunts of hell, Washington Post.

By: shabrem

shabrem — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:22:17 -0800

Get it while it's hot

By: faustessa

faustessa — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:22:45 -0800

I think I would like to read that book. Maybe it's because I feel sorry for the author. But that parade sounds like a pretty weird and funny idea.

By: pjgulliver

pjgulliver — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:23:15 -0800

Ray, you've been beaten already...LeCarre's "The Constant Gardener" is a pretty good development mystery.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:23:18 -0800

And to a particular someone: how much better can you be when your romantic skills garner only salmon?

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:23:33 -0800

Blueshammer:Hm. I thought the "worst book" trophy had already been claimed. The sequel to Faith of the Fallen (The Pillars of Something or Other) is even worse. Yes, I read them both all the way through. No, I don't know why. No, I won't be reading his next. Great American Parade sounds fascinating in it's awfulness.

By: mikrophon

mikrophon — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:23:38 -0800

Me: Listen, I'd like to write a really snide piece wherein I make fun of you a lot and make myself look really smart. You'll come out looking like an idiot, but it might sell some books. Is that cool? Burrows: Yes. Talk about your Faustian pacts.

By: Sonny Jim

Sonny Jim — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:28:34 -0800

You've got to love an author who comes right out and says things like "it was my intention in writing this book to capture the public's attention to the realization that eliminating the estate is comparable to sticking a knife in the heart of our democracy". That's almost...refreshing. It has topicality, local colour, a nice dust-jacket -- what more could you want?

By: y6y6y6

y6y6y6 — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:42:43 -0800

"Uhhmm, isn't Hubbard dead and buried in Helena, Mt?" Actually Hubbard wrote some good science fiction before he hit on the idea of forming his own religion. And I'm sure you can appreciate the difficulty of writing science fiction while at the same time trying to maintain credibility for the idea that some of your *other* science fiction plot is actually gospel. The balance can't be easy to maintain. And of course, following on the original theme of this thread - How many of us have had people take our looniest ideas so seriously that they handed over millions of dollars?

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:42:53 -0800

I thought Burrows seemed like a good sport. My question is, why would Gene Weingarten take the trouble to write this review and do an interview? Seems like a cheap way of getting read.

By: MediaMan

MediaMan — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:43:55 -0800

This sounds a lot like the story a columnist for the Post (I believe) did that showed the depths a PR flak would go to pitch a client's product or service. The author had the PR reps tell an embarrassing personal story with the best getting a free mention of the company they represent.

By: Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:47:23 -0800

Right on!

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:50:53 -0800

...she turns away in horror and says to her friends: "What an almost unbelievable tragedy! It will take a great resolve to overcome this terrible blow." [runs out to the bathroom to retch violently] I've read Casanova's autobiography, which runs around 3000 pages. I'm not reading that book even if its ludicrous excuse for a plot can only be stretched out to a hundred pages. Enough said.

By: stevefromsparks

stevefromsparks — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:57:43 -0800

Gene Weingarten is a great columnist. He declared a town in Nevada, Battle Mountain, to be the armpit of the United States. It was very funny. He has a talent for going to the extremes of American culture and bringing them to the public eye. By the way, Battle Mountain isn't even the armpit of Nevada. I think that title goes to Pioche or Panaca.

By: Marquis

Marquis — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:07:41 -0800

Great link. Hee hee hee!

By: pmurray63

pmurray63 — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:09:04 -0800

i'm always impressed by people who have the wherewithal to follow through on things -- music albums, novels, paintings, sculptures, programs -- even when those things are terribly lacking in talent. fish, in an interview, Woody Allen basically said that was the point he was trying to make with his now-famous "x percent of life is showing up" statement (x seems to vary depending upon the source you check). He was talking to some students and was making the point that a lot of people want to write a book or make a movie, etc., but never do it; actually finishing a creation was a notable accomplishment. It was an offhand comment that he didn't think was particularly profound, but it has certainly endured.

By: Nauip

Nauip — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:14:43 -0800

armpit of the United States - I thought that was Garland, TX. You've seen King of the Hill haven't you?

By: mattpfeff

mattpfeff — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:16:39 -0800

He declared a town in Nevada, Battle Mountain, to be the armpit of the United States. Which also earned his work a thread here.

By: rcade

rcade — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:22:01 -0800

I'm a second generation child of Garland, Texas. I think the armpit of America really needs to be someplace in the Rust Belt, such as Peoria, Illinois. Loved the article on the worst book written. The author's completely unflappable; Weingarten did a good job of making him look admirable at the same time he was insulting his book.

By: nylon

nylon — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:23:36 -0800

In my circle, I am regarded as a fascinating conversationalist ha! brilliant. shabrem: goddamn! i clicked your link, they had one copy left. BUT THEY WON'T SHIP OVERSEAS! so i hastened back here to ask whether anyone would be interested in getting a copy on my behalf, as a birthday present, or in exchange for cold hard cash or a bag of carrots or something, and the next thing i know the damn thing has sold out. i am distraught! behold the power of MeFi to sell rubbish to clever people

By: namespan

namespan — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:24:44 -0800

Your book is printed on shiny, white paper. They did a good job "They did a good job" is what people say about the embalmers/morticians at a viewing.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:24:56 -0800

Given the author's subject matter, could anyone have written a decent book? I mean, really? Still, give him credit for writing, publishing and distributing the darned thing. And for putting up with that interview.

By: shadow45

shadow45 — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:26:38 -0800

wobh: Brenda?

By: padraigin

padraigin — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:30:29 -0800

Me: Your only black character, who is named Jesse Jackson Jones, expresses his concurrence by saying, "Right on!" Burrows: Yes. Sounds like a gem.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:33:36 -0800

I think it was unfair of the interviewer to attack the book's credibility in terms of the actions of the Bush administration. They're beyond incredible. In fact - is that... is that... the sounds of a parade approaching?

By: dreamling

dreamling — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:36:29 -0800

Very funny interview. Might be a horrid book, but the nanowrimo in me says, good job for finishing... (I'm 0 and 2 years in that dept myself)

By: ed

ed — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 14:52:04 -0800

More details about the book: Royal Purple Online: "Even UW-Whitewater Political Science Department Chairman John Kozlowicz has a cameo in this book, and Burrows names a character after him." When I think of human character, there's nothing more compelling than a campus administrative head. But that's not all. The South End: "These students, who incidentally talk in the same well-rehearsed speech pattern as the politicians, have 4.0 GPAs, only drink beer twice in two years, and are a perfect cross-section of American stereotypes. In short, they are simply unbelievable."

By: owillis

owillis — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 15:00:48 -0800

Metafilter: Right On!

By: Raya

Raya — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 15:40:33 -0800

"These students, who incidentally talk in the same well-rehearsed speech pattern as the politicians, have 4.0 GPAs, only drink beer twice in two years, and are a perfect cross-section of American stereotypes. In short, they are simply unbelievable." Apparently the same is true of 98 % of students in New Zealand....according to their report cards.

By: alms

alms — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 15:50:59 -0800

armpit of the United States My father used to tell me that if they were going to give New York City an enema, the nozzle would go into Times Square. That was in the old days, before Disney bought it, but somehow it still seems applicable.

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 16:48:59 -0800

Well, he got his fifteen minutes, anyway. Mick Jagger once commented of Rolling Stone, "As long as they put my face on the cover, I don't care what they say about me on page 93."

By: jdiaz

jdiaz — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 21:21:35 -0800

Indeed

By: bokononito

bokononito — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 23:29:35 -0800

i'm sick of people like this interviewer; they are all around me at that ever-so-impressive school i go to; when i'm drunk i might act like one of them. These people have a name: smartass. Picking on a 79-year old, clearly a bit out-there guy, with every word desperately trying to sound smart, and failing. I'm all for biting commentary - but let him take on a heavyweight, someone that might define if he continues to write his columns. Besides, not funny.

By: faustessa

faustessa — Thu, 20 Feb 2003 00:20:27 -0800

nylon: I think bn.com still has a few copies. From what I could gather, they ship internationally, as well.

By: rcade

rcade — Sun, 23 Feb 2003 08:52:14 -0800

The Washington Post is giving away the book in a contest that ends tomorrow.

By: rcade

rcade — Sun, 23 Feb 2003 09:01:23 -0800

Thanks to shabrem, I managed to get a copy of the book. I've scanned in the covers and written a short article about it on my weblog. I undoubtedly will be saying more; I love work that manages to be honored -- however fairly or unfairly -- as the worst of its field. This reminds me of the legendary Eye of Argon, billed as the worst science fiction story ever, and Spawn of Fashan, claimed as the worst roleplaying game. Incidentally, regarding that second link, I'm the reason Kirby Davis figured out that Spawn of Fashan had a cult following. I found him in Oklahoma a few years ago, where he's an editor at the Daily Oklahoman newspaper and came within minutes of being caught in the Oklahoma City bombing. I'm glad to hear he's cashed in on the game's infamy.

By: jmd82

jmd82 — Wed, 26 Feb 2003 10:14:51 -0800

The sequel to Faith of the Fallen (The Pillars of Something or Other) is even worse. Yes, I read them both all the way through. No, I don't know why. No, I won't be reading his next. Dude, you are so right on. I thought all of his novels rocked, then got to the politcal piece of Faith of the Fallen...and, then came the Pillars of Creation. Wow, that was painful to finish. Highly disappointing after what i considered a very good start to his series. (though, I admit i'll prob buy his next piece in hopes he goes back to his formula from his first few books)

By: widdershins

widdershins — Wed, 26 Feb 2003 13:38:04 -0800

Pink & jmd82, you are both so right. What a total piece of crap - so glad I borrowed it at the library and didn't pay good cash for that trash. Might read the next one in the hopes that he redeems himself - but only if it's free. As for this interview, I thought it was hysterical. I thought the author carried himself well and I'm glad that sales of his book will increase for no reason other than one critic thought it was god-awful. PR at it's best.

By: skyscraper

skyscraper — Thu, 27 Feb 2003 00:44:18 -0800

owillis: the demographic singularity

By: aacheson

aacheson — Wed, 05 Mar 2003 08:46:35 -0800

Armpit=San Dimas, California. Hands down. I loved it how the author wasn't fazed by the questions at all. He is what he is, to hell with everyone else. (And he is, in his humble opinion, a fascinating conversationalist. Geez, I wish I could say so much.)