Are you ready, Freddie?

February 21, 2003 8:56 AM

Prepare yourself for terrorist season. The "Department of scaring the hell out of folks" thinks "every American should prepare themselves for a terrorist attack" the way Floridians prepare for hurricane season; as something inevitable and imminent. Oh yeah, and in the event of a nuclear blast, close the door.
posted by answergrape (18 comments total)

The "Department of scaring the hell out of folks"

that is run by secretary bogeyman yes?
posted by clavdivs at 9:05 AM on February 21, 2003

Where exactly does it say to close the door?
posted by smackfu at 9:09 AM on February 21, 2003

Look at the little pictures; one of them shows a stick figure closing the door.
posted by answergrape at 9:12 AM on February 21, 2003

You should really footnote Mr. Stewart and the Daily Show when you use his material. :)
posted by thanotopsis at 9:16 AM on February 21, 2003

woops...you're totally right!

It was the last think I saw when I fell asleep; IMAGINE the dreams I had!
posted by answergrape at 9:27 AM on February 21, 2003

It so does not show the stick figure closing the door.

But I'm just picking on you.
posted by smackfu at 9:32 AM on February 21, 2003

and within weeks, this will be looming over times square.
posted by grabbingsand at 9:38 AM on February 21, 2003

Wasn't this dealt with here?
Or here?
posted by jpburns at 9:43 AM on February 21, 2003

"...in the event of a nuclear blast, close the door."

Ha! Then the terrorists will have won! I'm opening it wide, and greeting the blast with a smile. Nothing's going to keep me from exercising my freedom to open my door.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:47 AM on February 21, 2003

They definitely are related, but my point was more about those ads and the impotent fear they encourage. To me, those abhorrent ads re-frame the information on ready.gov and take it beyond the "duck and cover" drills from school that they first reminded me of.
posted by answergrape at 9:54 AM on February 21, 2003

Anyone else notice the product placement in the television ad? And naturally the Ad Council sponsored the project, with a few suggestions from those product manufacturers it appears.
posted by nofundy at 10:32 AM on February 21, 2003

but my point was more about those ads and the impotent fear they encourage

And that wouldn't have worked in the other thread? This is just a double post. Even worse, it's a double post with a comedic premise ripped from the Daily Show.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:43 AM on February 21, 2003

Don't tell the people anything and everyone complains. Give them specifics and they make fun of them. No win.
posted by fried at 11:09 AM on February 21, 2003

It's a much better read through the UNiversal Skinhead Translator, I think:

Use available information to assess der situation, fook me! If there der fook is a fookin' significant radiation threat, health care authorities may or may not advise yer bastard well to take potassium iodide, naw shittin' ya! Potassium iodide der fook is the same stuff added to y' fookin' table salt to make the fook it iodized, fook me! It fookin' may or may not protect y' fookin' thyroid gland, which der fook is particularly vulnerable, from radioactive iodine exposure, naw shittin' ya!
posted by freebird at 11:44 AM on February 21, 2003

i've learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
posted by katy_ at 11:52 AM on February 21, 2003

The Boondocks lately has been bringing the funny re: the "Department of scaring the hell out of folks"....
posted by Raya at 12:00 PM on February 21, 2003

I wish their glossary had a definition for "the belly of the Eagle."
posted by homunculus at 1:56 PM on February 21, 2003

daffy: Terrorist Season!
osama: Duck Season!
daffy: Terrorist Season!!
osama: Duck Season!!
daffy: Terrorist Season!!!
osama: Terrorist Season!!!!
daffy: Duck Season!!!!! So shoot me now!!!
posted by wendell at 1:04 AM on February 22, 2003