When Flash meets news cheese.

February 27, 2003 8:33 PM

When Flash meets news cheese. The drums come in like Zeppelin's "When the Levee Breaks." The cop show synth-strings are ratcheted up to the most intense possible level. It's CNN having a war orgasm, in this ad for the Iraq Tracker, which apparently sits on your desktop and provides news as exciting as a coke overdose.
posted by inksyndicate (31 comments total)

Someone make some popcorn. The war's about to start.

I'll be back when I'm done vomiting.
posted by 4easypayments at 8:46 PM on February 27, 2003

Jeez, look at the picture of Saddam holding the gun up... looks pretty photoshopped to me... reminds me of this onion article
posted by FiveFrozenFish at 8:50 PM on February 27, 2003

All that hype and hyperbole.

What if there is no war? :::ducks:::
posted by Dunvegan at 8:58 PM on February 27, 2003

The actual sample newscast is pretty boring, although you do get the theme music loop. It's just stuff about troops deploying.
posted by inksyndicate at 9:04 PM on February 27, 2003

Operation enduring synth-pop-rock is in the house!
posted by Stuart_R at 9:08 PM on February 27, 2003

reminds me of this onion article

I can't tell which is which anymore.
posted by homunculus at 9:33 PM on February 27, 2003

Shouldn't "war orgasm" be shortened to "wargasm"?
posted by nyxxxx at 9:39 PM on February 27, 2003

...or "boregasm"?
posted by Jimbob at 9:42 PM on February 27, 2003

That theme music rocks. Jay-Z should totally make that the backing track to his next single.

And the best part is, you all probably think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm so not.
posted by rusty at 9:43 PM on February 27, 2003

No, you're right, that would be a great loop. It sounds a little like "We Will, We Will Rock You."
posted by inksyndicate at 9:49 PM on February 27, 2003

BTW, there are many pictures around of Saddam either holding a gun, or some other weapon.

Such images are pretty common and and rather well circulated.

OTOH, this is Photoshop. Absolut Photoshop.
posted by Dunvegan at 10:05 PM on February 27, 2003

It sounds like John Tesh.
posted by rschram at 10:05 PM on February 27, 2003

Psychological warfare is alive and well.
posted by elphTeq at 10:56 PM on February 27, 2003

Dear Whoever Produced That Ad,

Please say hello to Satan for me! It's been awhile since I was in Hell, now that I'm unemployed. But it looks like you're enjoying yourself in the underworld--as well you should. Not everyone who sells their soul does it with such panache; undoubtedly you are being rewarded generously for your efforts.

Best regards,

-Someone Who Shat Himself While Contemplating the Sheer Soullessness of Your Flash Project
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 11:37 PM on February 27, 2003

If the war is anywhere near as cool as that theme music, this is going to be, like, the highest rated war ever.

A great plot twist would be to have Wolf Blitzer introduce on air his war-corresponding nephew Panzer von Luftwaffe, who, after fumbling a few lines and getting ordered off the set, ends up sneaking into Hussein's underground shelter and getting an exclusive interview. Then, when the daisy-cutters come raining down, the feed cuts out, and for the next two hours Wolf is like, totally, running through Baghdad, all cinema verite, trying to piece together the clues Panzer gave about the location.

Oh man, I can hardly wait.
posted by eddydamascene at 12:06 AM on February 28, 2003

If CNN and Real Networks profit from war coverage, would their reporting right now be biased?
posted by mildred-pitt at 12:35 AM on February 28, 2003

Mildred-Pitt - agreed... with so much graphics dollar invested in this war, there's no way America can back out now.
posted by skylar at 12:52 AM on February 28, 2003

Does this same theme music appear on CNN proper? If so, could anyone with access to it make an MP3 of the music? I'd appreciate it.
posted by skylar at 12:56 AM on February 28, 2003

Ok, so I was expecting cheese, but I wasn't expecting THAT much cheese. It's a CHEESE-GASM!
posted by chrid at 1:11 AM on February 28, 2003

Shouldn't "war orgasm" be shortened to "wargasm"?

I don't know... I come on visit metafilter, see a gag, and get beaten to it by bloody hours... I hate being in a different timezone...
posted by twine42 at 3:02 AM on February 28, 2003

CNN has a rich history of compelling/barfy theme music...
posted by tpl1212 at 5:59 AM on February 28, 2003

I bet Nas gets his hands on that loop before Jay-Z does.

Like rusty, I am not being sarcastic.
posted by furiousthought at 7:03 AM on February 28, 2003

skylar: You can download the Flash file, change the extension to mp3 and trick Winamp into playing the audio. Or if you're lazy, you can download the mp3 I made here.
posted by O9scar at 8:03 AM on February 28, 2003

BBC World actually sells a CD of their (very cool) interstitial music.
posted by Vidiot at 8:25 AM on February 28, 2003

The war could really use a bit more cowbell.
posted by mathowie at 9:11 AM on February 28, 2003

Thanks 09scar... very kind of you... the reason I asked was to get higher fidelity audio, but this is a great start... thanks.
posted by skylar at 9:56 AM on February 28, 2003

The war could really use a bit more cowbell.

ROFL! Thanks for the laugh, Matt. I was sick to my stomach about CNN's IraqTracker until I read your comment ;)

For those who didn't get the reference.
posted by terrapin at 10:19 AM on February 28, 2003

I apologize, I mistakenly thought the Iraq Tracker "sits on your desktop" when I posted this last night. It's actually just a video you can click on. Yet another dumb "channels"-like idea for Active Content.
posted by inksyndicate at 10:58 AM on February 28, 2003

The war could really use a bit more cowbell.

You know those times when you say "Lol!" but you're not actually l'ing o l? This is not one of those times.
posted by rusty at 8:27 PM on February 28, 2003

The war could really use a bit more cowbell.

But this war goes to eleven, y'see?
posted by trondant at 9:43 PM on February 28, 2003

Strange, I always thought the world needed more bagpipes. If I have a soundtrack to my life there would be lots of bagpipes. And a horn section. And Bootsy Collins.
posted by nyxxxx at 6:29 PM on March 2, 2003