Poetry Dedicated to Leonardo DiCaprio

March 15, 2003 2:03 PM

The Leonardo DiCaprio Poetry Site This is a poetry site totally dedicated to the talented actor Leonardo DiCaprio / Without whom / Our lives would be empty of all inspiration. There would be no work of art for us to gaze at / No timeless melody to listen to.

Some of it's quite sincere: Must. Not. Heh. Snicker. . .
posted by spslsausse (10 comments total)

The Day I Fell in Love with Leo: It was at that moment that I [...] was struck by Cupid’s arrow. It was like being hit in the chest by a 10 ton truck. My breath was trapped in my lungs, I couldn’t breathe, my heart was hammering so hard I was sure it would leap straight out my throat. I felt ill, like I was going to throw up.

Here I was, a 40 year old married mother of two, head over heels over a man who was young enough to be my son. [...] I had this hunger raging through me, I had to see as many of his movies as I could. I gorged myself on Leo.

Discussion points: Celebrity Stalking Incidents: an Empirical Study (abstract); Do men, and not just women, build such communal shrines to the objects of their frustrated desires; Envy; and the utter waste of creative energies.

It's easy to be snide, but I've been interested in this for a while: what is all this about? An emptiness and a dissatisfaction with life as it is? For further study: The Viggo Mortensen Fan Base (I'm not going to link to it, as it's easy to find, and they've moved to member-only reading and posting in the last week, so you can't wander around wide eyed reading hundreds of obsessive posts any longer. I hasten to add that I am not and never will be a member; curiosity brought me there, gawking made me stay for a while).
posted by jokeefe at 2:36 PM on March 15, 2003

Stop... Hammertime. (at least temporarily)
posted by Ljubljana at 3:16 PM on March 15, 2003

My poem for Leo:

DeCaprio, you like a young Brando,
But you are going to seed
twenty years earlier.
posted by dydecker at 3:31 PM on March 15, 2003

My, art will go on.
posted by dhartung at 3:31 PM on March 15, 2003

My arse will go on...
posted by i_cola at 3:36 PM on March 15, 2003

Leonardo Di
Caprio, Your name won't fit
Into my haiku
posted by armoured-ant at 3:39 PM on March 15, 2003

Do men, and not just women, build such communal shrines to the objects of their frustrated desires;

[ahem]

Ya had to ask....

EXTREMELY NSFW.
posted by jonmc at 4:27 PM on March 15, 2003

Lovely shot. Cut off the ends of her lower legs why don't you, Mr. Photographer? And why is she so aroused by the sand? Maybe she's hot for Leo?
posted by raysmj at 4:51 PM on March 15, 2003

Based on my personal appreciation of mr. DiCaprio, here are some lyrical suggestions:

Titanic rhymes with panic
Gangs of New York rhymes with dork
Leonardo rhymes with retardo

There you go. Now just let your muse do the rest.

p.s: Spell Check suggestion-- DiCaprio<--- diaper
posted by 111 at 6:01 PM on March 15, 2003

the dandruff falls like snow.
posted by Hackworth at 10:07 PM on March 15, 2003