all you got to do is find a parking lot

March 15, 2003 7:32 PM

Area residents speak of hearing their crieslate in the night, a hellish screeching and squealing. Some even have seen them personally, appearing from nowhere in the dark hours... then scattering... Police came through, but now they're gone / In other words, the sideshow's on. A peek into the infamous Oakland sideshow. (Quicktime videos 1,2,3)
posted by eddydamascene (25 comments total)

Late one night after playing a show, I took a wrong turn near a soundwall in West Oakland - and found myself in the middle of a crowd that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Two cars raced by my van, screeching tires and banging engines - dragging. Everyone was piled onto a broad stretch of highway, turning the four-lane into an ad-hoc parking lot. Cars were everywhere, tricked-out rigs, idling, rumbling, speeding madly. Music thumped loudly from seemingly every car. It was an eerie and fantastic night scene, the crowd was raucous, young, and full of energy. I'd always wondered what event I'd stumbled into...
posted by massless at 8:00 PM on March 15, 2003

There is no place in the world like California.
posted by the fire you left me at 8:04 PM on March 15, 2003

I honestly don't care if kids are out there having a reasonably safe, good time. What I do care about is the guys that "practice" this shit up and down my street all day and night. It's clear they don't have much in the way of driving skill, and they're endangering lots of the little kids running around the neighborhood. Minor crashes, near misses, and the odd bump over the curb aren't all that unusual.

Some folks want to go sit in a parking lot and not hassle anyone, that's fine by me. But I do wish the crowd of admirers, hangers-on, and wannabes wouldn't take it out to the streets. A night rarely goes by that another incompetently performed donut or burnout (or ten) graces the neighborhood with unneeded noise.
posted by majick at 8:04 PM on March 15, 2003

[nice tableau, massless]
posted by Opus Dark at 8:08 PM on March 15, 2003

The automobile is not a toy.
posted by ColdChef at 8:09 PM on March 15, 2003

From Clip 2: "Like they say, 'You build it, motherfuckers is gonna come.'"

That was my favorite motherfucking quote from Field of Motherfucking Dreams starring Kevin Motherfucking Costner.

(great stuff here, by the way)
posted by ColdChef at 8:15 PM on March 15, 2003

How do teenagers afford $25,000 cars and $600 worth of tires every week? Do the Oakland Burger Kings pay that well?

There must be some very happy tire store owners in Oakland. Especially if they have a side-job installing whistle tips to the same idiots.

That said, public streets are not teenagers' playthings. If you think you're hot stuff in your tricked out camaro, take it on a track and try to prove how well you drive.

First offense: car impounded for 1 week, $250 fine. Second offense: car impounded for 1 month, $500 fine. Third Offense: car impounded and sold at auction, $1000 fine.

This stuff could be stopped.

Make a private enterprise out of it. There's surely someone who owns an empty lot in Oakland.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:19 PM on March 15, 2003

That said, public streets are not teenagers' playthings.

Oh?
posted by the fire you left me at 8:25 PM on March 15, 2003

I gotta say, if Oakland is spending the forty-thousand bucks a night they claim they are to stop the sideshows, they need to get new management over there. Creating a place to do this would legally save a lot of money in a hurry, be appreciated by the people who like the sideshows and the people who hate them alike.

As far as cars being playthings, let he who has not performed a donut cast the first stone. Seriously, we were all kids once, and I have distinct teenage memories of being in cars that were going triple the speed limit, being in cars that were being jumped for distance over the railroad tracks, and being in cars that were evading the police. It was incredibly stupid and dangerous, but it will always continue, because it's fun.
posted by mosch at 8:31 PM on March 15, 2003

true cars are not playthings and at $2.00 a gallon for gas it's expensive. but yes I race and never lost. I do have extra sets of tires in my basement rated for 140 mph, gotta use them sometime.
posted by DBAPaul at 8:50 PM on March 15, 2003

Ynoxas, the U'Kendra K. Johnson Memorial Act (SB 1489) states that those involved in 'reckless driving in an offstreet parking facility' can have their vehicles impounded for up to 30 days. A response here. One of the interesting components of the article was that one sideshow filmmaker believes to have captured a police chase that preceded Johnson's fatal accident, undermining the popular claim that sideshows were responsible for her death.
posted by eddydamascene at 9:10 PM on March 15, 2003

damn. great post. i don't know anything about 'sideshows' or racing but those clips sure do bring back memories. oakland is one tough-ass town. no starbucks or bagel shops, although i do remember 'nations', a hamburger shop that had THE best burgers anywhere. that was years ago though so i'm sure it's dead.
posted by poopy at 9:28 PM on March 15, 2003

No starbucks or bagel shops in Oakland? obviously you've never been to a little part of Oakland called 'Piedmont'? Seriously, the new Oakland City center is as upscale as any other big city.

Once taking a shortcut at midnight near where the Nimitz freeway used to be I suddenly found myself in the middle of the sideshow. It was *very* surreal. 500 Asian men and a dozen mega-riced cars will make you accept almost anything without raising a fuss.
posted by kfury at 9:59 PM on March 15, 2003

As far as cars being playthings, let he who has not performed a donut cast the first stone.

*berkeley/north oakland resident--recently nearly killed by racing fucknuts on 580--saunters into post, bends over, picks up unusually round, flight-worthy stone*

mosch? stand still a sec'.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 10:03 PM on March 15, 2003

Excellent post, eddydamascene - this is all new to me. Great links - thanks!
posted by madamjujujive at 10:07 PM on March 15, 2003

No starbucks or bagel shops in Oakland? obviously you've never been to a little part of Oakland called 'Piedmont'?

like i said, it's been a while... well, more like decades (am i really that old?). shhh...don't tell anyone.

now i live in tampa and let's just say that after the superbowl i was not surprised to hear of the mischief after the game, although i'm sure the media blew it way out of proportion.
posted by poopy at 10:29 PM on March 15, 2003

[this is fascinating]
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:41 PM on March 15, 2003

What an interesting read. Good linkage there Eddy, thanks.
posted by dejah420 at 10:57 PM on March 15, 2003

This is certainly more informative than the Vin Diesel documentary about the subject - thanks, Eddy, although I can't in any way condone this kind of behavior, it was a great read!
posted by jonson at 11:37 PM on March 15, 2003

The automobile is not a toy.
motherfucking coldchef sounds like my motherfucking dad. that was my favorite motherfucking quote from gay niggers from outer motherfucking space starring Julien Garneau-Motherfucking-Proulx.
posted by quonsar at 5:27 AM on March 16, 2003

I don't think creating a legal place to do this would be useful--I got the impression from the second video that some of the participants were "representing for the gang", which means they don't particularly want the cops to know where they are on any given night.

Facinating stuff.
posted by frykitty at 8:13 AM on March 16, 2003

I am Lil' Johnny High Schooler. I have a fast car. I am bored and I live all over the USA.
I am from the (East) Bay Area, where most kids have BMWs and Mercedes rather than Camaros and Mopars. We used to go out into the Livermore hills where there was nothing but farmland and looooooong stretches of road. The few times we raced in urban areas, the cops where there witin 10 minutes of the first burnout. Some smart guys had scanners to pick-up the police signals before they surprised us. There were a few mishaps but no one ever got killed. The videos I saw showed people doing doughnuts at street intersections, crazy mofos riding ON TOP of the cars peeling out and huge crowds of people standing within inches of their lives, we never did any of that. We weren't angels but safety for everyone at the event was a big concern. The camera work was pretty darning and/or stupid. Teenagers and 20+ males will always have hotrods and they will always want to smoke their tires. It's a rush and their is no other sensation like it. For most people it's a phase that goes away when you have no more $$ or you wreck you car or lose your license or when you girlfriend get bored of it.
posted by lsd4all at 9:55 AM on March 16, 2003

This crap isn't just in Oakland but all over the East Bay. Living around the bend in Mountain View, I see generally 1-2 articles per month in the Merc about a death occuring from this stupid crap. Fremont (or Feakmont in the local lingo) has really clamped down on this. Another way the Fates are telling you that too much $$$ is a bad thing, IMO.
posted by billsaysthis at 11:39 AM on March 16, 2003

That was fascinating eddydamascene, thanks.
posted by squealy at 12:43 PM on March 16, 2003

Another way the Fates are telling you that too much $$$ is a bad thing, IMO.

what? Oakland and all it's damn money? Oakland street kids and all their money?

hey lsd4all, you ever race Patterson Pass? hehe
posted by Big_B at 2:24 PM on March 16, 2003