To think locally
March 17, 2003 12:00 PM   Subscribe

Terrorism from Middle America. A sudden green terror hits Washington D.C.
posted by The Jesse Helms (28 comments total)

 
USA! USA! USA!
posted by Down10 at 12:02 PM on March 17, 2003


oh. my. god. i've seen this before! the jeep and tractor are amphibious decoys! kill the motorcycle! KILL THE MOTORCYCLE NOW FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED!
posted by quonsar at 12:06 PM on March 17, 2003


Why do I suspect there's an NEA grant behind this?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:07 PM on March 17, 2003


ter·ror·ism (tr-rzm) n.
The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons.


Terrorism? I don't think so. Maybe civil disobiedience.

Middle America? Washington DC isn't Middle America. Just because it's a tractor doesn't mean it came from Iowa.

Let this be another cautionary tale about what might happen if there were a MoJo.
posted by jpburns at 12:25 PM on March 17, 2003


Sorry, Pink, I vote talk radio and a brain chemistry imbalance.
posted by dglynn at 12:25 PM on March 17, 2003


The idea was to go drink a green beer today, not sink a green Deere...
posted by LinusMines at 12:27 PM on March 17, 2003


Just because it's a tractor doesn't mean it came from Iowa

But it is a John Deere, which means it did probably come from Iowa originally (I used to drive by the Deere plant in the Waterloo/Cedar Falls area almost daily).
posted by thanotopsis at 12:28 PM on March 17, 2003


Linus - good one.
posted by soyjoy at 12:33 PM on March 17, 2003


Around 3 p.m., the man stepped onto the hood of the tractor and waved with both arms. A few minutes later, he went back into the cab.
posted by eddydamascene at 12:33 PM on March 17, 2003


Terrorism? I don't think so. Maybe civil disobiedience.

ladies and gentlemen, a big round of applause for that stunning display of humor-impairment on the part of jpburns! [crowd roars]

personally, i think the guy has a tractor nuke and is willing to detonate it.
posted by quonsar at 12:40 PM on March 17, 2003


Forgive me my stupidity, but why do all those streets have to be closed because some idiot/hero (delete as necessary) drove a tractor into a pond?
posted by squealy at 1:00 PM on March 17, 2003


Thanks for the applause, Quonsar. I particularly liked the stage directions to the crowd. [crowd tsk tsks dismissively]

My point was that in this day and age, people shout "terrorism" for no good reason (I call it the Fox syndrome), and I, for one, want it to stop.

Yes, I realize that the post was tongue. I just wanted to make my petty little point...
posted by jpburns at 1:03 PM on March 17, 2003


Oops... make that :

Yes, I realize that the post was tongue-in-cheek. I just wanted to make my petty little point...

(damn spell-checker)
posted by jpburns at 1:06 PM on March 17, 2003


Forgive me my stupidity, but why do all those streets have to be closed because some idiot/hero (delete as necessary) drove a tractor into a pond?

Because this is DC, home to Police Chief Wiggum, er, Ramsey.
posted by fredosan at 1:34 PM on March 17, 2003


why do all those streets have to be closed

Its partly overkill, but the place where the little demonstration is going on is next to the White House, the Organization of American States, the Washington Monument etc. There are a LOT of tourists and gov't folks in that area (as any area of downtown DC) and they don't want some loony opening up on the President or a tour bus full of grade schoolers, should he be an armed loony, that's all.

On a side note, this is going to make my commute home about twice as long. Thanks anonymous patriot for your message of support for the USA, way to go!
posted by Pollomacho at 1:36 PM on March 17, 2003


jpburns: and i just wanted to facilitate your making the point with even more impact :-)
[crowd gets bored, changes channel to FOX]
posted by quonsar at 1:41 PM on March 17, 2003


Oh and by the way fredosan, this is in Secret Service and Park Police jurisdiction so its their call on the streets not Wiggam's. Besides if it were Wiggam's jurisdiction, nothing would have been done at all until long after the man had driven off on his merry way.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:42 PM on March 17, 2003


Pollomacho, either that, or he'd have everyone in the immediate vicinity arrested, like he did during the latest World Bank demonstrations.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:44 PM on March 17, 2003


Linus - good one. Thanks for pointing that out about the green.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:00 PM on March 17, 2003


A St. Pats day love letter to the troops: Ahh, paint it green boy, In John Deere Green.

For the news junkies: Channels 7, 8, 9, Post, Times, and Blade
posted by ?! at 2:36 PM on March 17, 2003


This is hilarious, and a nice break from the rest of the [depressing] news.
posted by evening at 4:34 PM on March 17, 2003


The Post updated at 4pm PST:

"The man, reportedly a tobacco farmer from North Carolina, was sitting in the cab of the tractor, which was in about three feet of water."

You know how it is. You jump on the tractor, fire one up, hit the tunes and just start tilling. Sometimes you forget to look where you're going.
posted by ?! at 5:59 PM on March 17, 2003


Update: Shit ain't over, yet!
posted by Pollomacho at 11:00 AM on March 18, 2003


Come on, this guy's a farmer! Why can't Dubya just go out and talk "country" to him?
posted by Ty Webb at 1:39 PM on March 18, 2003


Oh so that's what this is all about!

My dead grandfather's emphysema says that this guy's "plight" can go fuck itself.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:51 PM on March 18, 2003


"The Lord told me to do it. He said, 'Time is running out, Jack.'"

Unfortunately, the man's name is Dwight. The Lord must've hit the wrong button on the speed dial.
posted by ook at 2:30 PM on March 18, 2003


The Lord works in mysterious ways.
posted by zpousman at 2:48 PM on March 18, 2003


JPBurns:
I think you're confusing the midwest with Middle America.
The protestor is another example of someone who can't compete in the free market without a government hand out.
posted by stevefromsparks at 3:55 PM on March 18, 2003


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