2003 Oscar Schwag

March 18, 2003 7:07 AM

2003 Oscar Schwag
posted by crunchland (21 comments total)

If I were nominated, I would so be using ebay to unload that crap.
posted by mathowie at 7:52 AM on March 18, 2003

Just once, I'd like to get that call 'Hello, is this Chandy72? Yes, well, we were wondering if you'd like to present at the Academy Awards since we know what a big movie fan you are and all...oh, yes, of course, the 'gift basket is included. Great, looking forward to finally meeting you."

Seriously, I'm surprised they can fit a Temperpedic mattress and four lazy-boy chairs in that poor already-overburdened basket.
posted by chandy72 at 8:01 AM on March 18, 2003

even the Zen digital alarm clock? La-Z Boy recliners and a Tempur-Pedic mattress must require a large ass Oscar bag. Where's the Craftmatic Adjustable?

oh shit, chandy72 beat me
posted by foot at 8:04 AM on March 18, 2003

Omas 360. Nice pen.

I suppose we could go on and on about how they don't really deserve these baskets and what a waste they are, and how ridiculous the practice is, but that seems pretty pointless. May I suggest that we recommend things that SHOULD be in the baskets?

My suggestion? Microwave pork rinds. Better than popcorn. (actually, I've never tried them, but I'm intrigued by the idea of them)
posted by ColdChef at 8:10 AM on March 18, 2003

5 cameras, phones, or camera/phone combinations. Talk about wretched excess.
posted by crunchland at 8:10 AM on March 18, 2003

They don't call it La-La land for nothin', I 'spose.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 8:15 AM on March 18, 2003

Is there another profession where the wage gap is so horribly pronounced? This lot of over-groomed, shiny-faced hacks will get a huge bag of swag while the jobbing actors on Broadway and the West End stage get about £10k ($15k) a year if they're lucky.

I nominate a packet of beef and tomato cuppa soup and an excluse diamonique pendant from QVC.
posted by Summer at 8:21 AM on March 18, 2003

ExclusIVE that is.
posted by Summer at 8:22 AM on March 18, 2003

Motorola camera phone and free service for six months, $200

(Wonder if that's unlimited service, that'd be cool.)

Still, I have to wonder how much money these companies spend in the hopes that these celebrities will help make their products more popular. Is it all worth it?

Also ironic how the folks who can actually afford this crap are the ones who are being offered it for free.
posted by Fofer at 8:23 AM on March 18, 2003

For no other reason, except that they make me laugh, I'd include: "Love me, don't eat me" Tee shirts.
posted by ColdChef at 8:27 AM on March 18, 2003

"Love me, don't eat me"

Is this somehow connected with the Godiva chocolate body wrap that appears on the list?
posted by biffa at 8:34 AM on March 18, 2003

I'd include a free trial CD good for 1,000 free hours with AOL 6.0.
posted by jennyb at 8:40 AM on March 18, 2003

Also a MetaFilter bumper sticker.
posted by jennyb at 8:43 AM on March 18, 2003

2003 Oscar Schwing!
posted by yhbc at 8:45 AM on March 18, 2003

apropos of yhbc's comment:
"Hello, we are Salma Hayek's Breasts. We just wanted to prove that just because we can be somber and reflective, in a serious art film like Frida, it doesn't mean we can't also show off our playful side in a really hot dress. We are multi-faceted breasts. Hey, don't you have any manners? Don't look at her face. We are down here."
posted by pxe2000 at 9:07 AM on March 18, 2003

Wow, you spelled it "Schwag"! I'm sick of seeing "swag". Where did that start? Did people not want to refer to free cheap stuff with the same word you use to describe cheap weed?
posted by billpena at 9:13 AM on March 18, 2003

ColdChef: Ah, how times change...
posted by i_cola at 9:14 AM on March 18, 2003

SWAG - Stuff We All Get
posted by Karmakaze at 9:30 AM on March 18, 2003

What do you get for someone who has everything?

"Victoria's Secret gem-studded bra and panty set customized with initials and good-luck charm bracelets $5,000"

Billy Crystal says: "I never felt so sexy. CB?"
posted by xtian at 9:54 AM on March 18, 2003

Swag - in the UK this is a slang term for the proceeds of a robbery/burglary. For some reason in the UK (for example, in children's comics) robbers have traditionally been represented as wearing hooped tops with lone ranger style masks and a sack over their shoulder, known as a swag bag, in which they place their swag. (Non-brits may have seen this in Benny Hill.)
This representation may well be dying out but neither Benny Hill or the Dandy feature in my life much so I can't be sure.
posted by biffa at 9:56 AM on March 18, 2003

My suggestion? Microwave pork rinds. Better than popcorn. (actually, I've never tried them, but I'm intrigued by the idea of them)

My husband has. He says they are surprisingly good. The smell while they are popping is pretty damn scary.
posted by SuzySmith at 5:46 PM on March 18, 2003