Comments on: Jesus.

Jesus.

XQUZYPHYR — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 15:42:53 -0800

Lord, Bless This Defender of Freedom. "No matter where his mission takes him, he'll never be beyond the reach of God's protection. As the brave members of the U.S. military head out to defend our freedom, it's comforting to know that each one is sheltered in the loving hands of God." Order your Defender of Freedom, complete with hands of God, for only $19.95 plus shipping. Assault rifle included.

By: cadastral

cadastral — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 15:47:41 -0800

I'm frantically trying to search my brain for this figurine's target audience. I wonder what the late 20s hipster/60 something grandmother ratio is, for people buying this...

By: signal

signal — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 15:49:09 -0800

Meticulously handcrafted of hand-painted sculpture and sparkling crystalline

By: mcsweetie

mcsweetie — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 15:54:27 -0800

look at those sparkly eyes! oh, how could I possibly stay mad at you?

By: SweetJesus

SweetJesus — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 15:55:09 -0800

Look at the cute little M-16....

By: signal

signal — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 15:56:59 -0800

What sort of assault rifle would jesus kill people with?

By: TheFarSeid

TheFarSeid — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:01:10 -0800

Just what we need - an eight-year-old with an M-16.

By: jammer

jammer — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:02:27 -0800

My girlfriend's grandfather was a Marine in WW2. He took part in some of the nastiest fighting of the war on the pacific islands. Now that he's reached his later years, he's become a devout Catholic, probably because he fears what the repurcussions of what he did in his youth may be. She got the Lord, Bless This Marine figurine for him. It's pretty cheesy, yes, but if it comforts a haunted old man in his old age... I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

By: jonson

jonson — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:07:24 -0800

I just bought one for my conflicted very Christian yet very pro-war (irony impaired?) co-worker, who needs a physical reminder of my taunting of him for when I'm not around to do it in person.

By: RylandDotNet

RylandDotNet — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:07:44 -0800

If you don't buy one, Saddam must really love you.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:07:46 -0800

What's next? Hummels in Humvees? *light bulb goes on over head* Forget you read that.

By: eilatan

eilatan — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:09:04 -0800

There is something positively terrifying about these...things. I don't know if it's the creepy disembodied hands of God or the use of a child's form to represent a soldier...but there's something not right about them. They kind of remind me of Precious Moments, actually.

By: kaibutsu

kaibutsu — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:09:25 -0800

Once again, and as always for the record, let it be known how much I love capitalism.

By: Karl

Karl — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:09:38 -0800

Jammer, there you go inserting Meaning into the thread. You're missing a perfectly good opportunity to make cheap jokes!

By: skallas

skallas — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:22:12 -0800

Am I the only one creeped out by child soldiers? They could have gone with someone who looks like they've hit puberty already.

By: condour75

condour75 — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:27:14 -0800

Once again, and as always for the record, let it be known how much I love capitalism. Maybe it's not God's hands protecting him, it's the invisible hands of the market pushing him into battle.

By: Iax

Iax — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:29:26 -0800

Its one of the upcomming steps for the war on "terrorism". The Children's "War For Freedom/Liberty".

By: hammurderer

hammurderer — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:42:06 -0800

condour75: aaaaahahahahaha! jammer: that's a very good reason to buy the statue (that, or to comfort the parent of a deployed soldier). Thanks for the post.

By: mathis23

mathis23 — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:43:12 -0800

Hand-numbered with a matching Certificate of Authenticity Yes, for the Love of All Things Holy, let's try and keep counterfeit products OUT of the crap market, OK people? Besides, I'd be shocked, yes SHOCKED, if somebody out there were to sink low enough as to try and exploit this market for personal gain. Oh wait... P.S. Two thumbs up, condour.

By: dejah420

dejah420 — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:44:37 -0800

Its one of the upcomming steps for the war on "terrorism". The Children's "War For Freedom/Liberty". Well, it's been years since we've had a good Children's Crusade...

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:45:26 -0800

They could have gone with someone who looks like they've hit puberty already. (sniff, sniff) the lil guy reminds me of my lil bro [wonders if lil bro can mount one on his military issued vehicle, naa, no dashbord]

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:46:59 -0800

dashboard

By: homunculus

homunculus — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:48:46 -0800

Am I the only one creeped out by child soldiers? Stay away from Burma.

By: wfrgms

wfrgms — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:49:58 -0800

That is the most beautiful thing I've seen all day. Thanks XQUZYPHYR!

By: donkeyschlong

donkeyschlong — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:50:36 -0800

kitsch on arrival.

By: eustacescrubb

eustacescrubb — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:51:45 -0800

Maybe it's not God's hands protecting him, it's the invisible hands of the market pushing him into battle. That is the single best MeFi comment I thnk I have ever read.

By: blamb

blamb — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 17:05:57 -0800

Shock and awwww, cute!

By: tomplus2

tomplus2 — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 17:16:37 -0800

jammer, good point. I just talked with my sister-in-law this weekend. Her father was in Vietnam, and this tv war coverage is KILLING him. He's crying, etc.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 17:32:22 -0800

Also from The Hamilton Collection (although I couldn't find it online so I scanned the weekend paper) - the exclusive On The Front Lines Of Freedom figurine. "This handcrafted figurine represents the fearless troops who have vowed to defend the United States, no matter where their mission takes them. Just one look at his boundless courage and fierce commitment to his country, and your heart will fill with pride". Only $19.95.

By: Neale

Neale — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 17:55:23 -0800

Onwards kids and teddybears, Marching as to war With fine hand-crafted figurines Sold for $19.94 Christ, I'm so disgusted, With this pile of kitch Celebrating child soldiers Dying in a ditch. Chorus: Onward, kids and teddybears, Marching as to war With pewter face and crystal stand And M16s galore.

By: groundhog

groundhog — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 18:02:56 -0800

Target audience? You're either a Precious Moments kinda person, or you're not. There's no middle grouind. Too bad they don't offer a bobble-head option.

By: LouReedsSon

LouReedsSon — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 18:24:03 -0800

Targetting youth... another group did that... was it someplace in Europe back in the 30's maybe? I forget. :)

By: alicesshoe

alicesshoe — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 18:29:01 -0800

That's just great! There are many collectors of such kitsch. Never let it be underestimated [kind of like resistance]. As for the fact it isn't a black private? Maybe it's a higher rank, although no mention of rank in the copy, however, statistically ..... Why is so cute? You want some bedraggled statue, grimy with a 5 day growth, with sand in his boots and ears on your mantle? What kind of reminder did you want to pay for exactly? I love the fact that it is "Limited to just 95 casting days" [over a billion cranked out!?] and what puzzles me, is that it "Measures about 4" high". Is that a direct comment on the height of morale of the troops there? I would guess their next move after the 95 day period is that they'll post a sold out notice and they'll be sold directly through ebay. Heh-heh. Brill. Call it a conversation piece. Jest lookit these replies!

By: shepd

shepd — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 18:56:43 -0800

Lord bless the man that travels with his Bill of Rights -- Security Edition. May he pass through all checkpoints unmolested.

By: mhjb

mhjb — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 20:22:46 -0800

bril, condour & neale

By: FormlessOne

FormlessOne — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 20:38:44 -0800

What's worse, many of those who would not buy it by itself will buy it to complete a set. Capitalism at its finest, unsullied by morality or ethics.

By: sennoma

sennoma — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 20:59:51 -0800

Condour75, that's right up there with "we have cameras". Nice one, Neale.

By: ZupanGOD

ZupanGOD — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 21:26:17 -0800

What's the point in posting this on MF again?

By: jammer

jammer — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 22:12:59 -0800

What's the point in posting this on MF again? Oh, come on... at least it's more interesting than Iteration X of "I think the war is good/bad. People who disagree with me are poopyheads."

By: Espoo2

Espoo2 — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 22:18:35 -0800

coundour- :)

By: dhartung

dhartung — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 22:26:26 -0800

aliceshoe: the average soldier may not be as black as you believe.

By: jabo

jabo — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 23:41:10 -0800

I saw this in my Sunday paper, in the Parade section. Thanks for a great link XQUZYPHYR (and great comments and poetry). My dad probably served with jammer's gal pal's grand dad in WWII. He was a Navy communications officer who landed with the Marines in the South Pacific after Pearl Harbor. Never talked to us kids about it much. He became a devout Unitarian. War sucks.

By: Grangousier

Grangousier — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 23:57:47 -0800

From elsewhere on the site: [T]he U.S. Marines ... always liv[e] up to their motto, Semper Fi - Always Faithful My latin isn't up to much, but wouldn't it be Semper Fideles? Semper Fi would translate as Always Fa. Not terribly butch, is it, Always Fa?

By: alicesshoe

alicesshoe — Tue, 01 Apr 2003 00:39:16 -0800

Thanks dhartung for the pointer. Ah, I guess I should have either researched and posted a statistic or changed it to "the poor". Some choose that lifestyle to get some education when other doors may be closed to them. I assumed, my bad. Hey, it isn't alices hoe, it's alice's shoe. 2 eses.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 01 Apr 2003 03:47:01 -0800

As Adam Smith said , when you follow your own personal interest you really are guided by an "invisible hand" that will make you help maximize social profit. Well, with my visible hand I'll show the invisible one my visible middle finger.