The Poetry of D.H. Rumsfeld

April 2, 2003 3:08 PM

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is an accomplished man. Not only is he guiding the war in Iraq, he has been a pilot, a congressman, an ambassador, a businessman, and a civil servant. But few Americans know that he is also a poet.
posted by misterioso (15 comments total)

Let's try this again.

let us start a war
so we can make stuff go boom
boom bitty boom boom

Thank ewe, thank ewe. I'll be here all week.
posted by zanpo at 3:33 PM on April 2, 2003

[this is good]
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:36 PM on April 2, 2003

Dammit misterioso! You found a palliative to this bitter truth. At least Rummy's not as overtly aesthetically stupid as Ashcroft.
posted by DenOfSizer at 3:38 PM on April 2, 2003

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld or Pulitzer Prize winning prose-poet Charles Simic?

They had a secret
Which they were about to
Make known to me--
And then didn't. - [A]
------------------------------------
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.- [B]
-----------------------------------
All I can tell you is,
It hasn't happened.
It's going to happen. - [C]
----------------------------------------
The obvious is difficult
To prove. Many prefer
The hidden. I did, too. - [D]
posted by eddydamascene at 4:02 PM on April 2, 2003

Stream of Consciousness brought about by this article:

Found poetry, in a sortof "I tripped over it" way....

I suppose he's not part of Poets Against the War.

Does anyone else think that it's immensely pretentious to call yourself a poet? Maybe it's just been that most all of the people I've known who use that label on themselves are pretentious.

I write poetry sometimes, but I'll use that label the day that I get an award from somebody (who doesn't want me to pay them to accept it) or something.
posted by namespan at 4:05 PM on April 2, 2003

Rumsfield could afford to deploy more lines onto his poems though. ;)
posted by RobbieFal at 4:34 PM on April 2, 2003

"Poet" is a rather pedantic label for what someone does. How pretentious is "I'm a thimble collector?"

The label "poet" is only pretentious if you happen to actually subscribe to the idea that there's something special about poetry, or about the people who write it. When someone says he's a poet, my (suppressed) instinctive response is, "I'm sorry."

Besides, real poets introduce themselves with "I'm a creative writing instructor."
posted by DaShiv at 4:38 PM on April 2, 2003

Saddam keeps sayin'
he's got something for us..
something he calls proof,
but let's confess.
He's been a-messin' where
he shouldn't a-been a-messin'.
Now someone else
is gettin' all the best.
Now, as I see it,
these boots are made for walkin'..
and that..
that's just what they're gonna do.
One of these days -
I don't know the exact date, but
sometime in the future -
these boots are gonna walk all over 'im.
Karen?*

By the way, people who don't like poetry should try a poetry slam. Though competing in them can be nerve-wracking, I think they create better product than the oogly-googly atmosphere of a reading.
posted by dhartung at 4:47 PM on April 2, 2003

He belongs on the same shelf with O Holy Cow!: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto:

Field of Butterflies

Absolutely!
If you don't get a little,
A few butterflies,
No matter what you do,
On the first day of anything,
You're not human

April 21, 1991
New York at Kansas City
Storm Davis pitching to Steve Sax
First inning, no outs, bases empty
(First batter, opening day)
No score


My Secret

When I'm driving
To Yankee Stadium and back,
I do it so often.

I don't remember passing lights.
I don't remember paying tolls
Coming over the bridge.

Going back over the bridge,
I remember...

August 19, 1992
Oakland at New York
Mike Moore pitching to Mel Hall
Fifth inning, one out, bases empty
Yankees lead 4-1

posted by languagehat at 4:49 PM on April 2, 2003

Clearly inspired by the poetry of Ewen McTeagle.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 5:23 PM on April 2, 2003

Who does this guy think he is? Buckaroo Banzai?
posted by muckster at 8:13 PM on April 2, 2003

A Confession
Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.

Alot of us feel that way Don.
posted by LouReedsSon at 8:15 PM on April 2, 2003

Besides, real poets introduce themselves with "I'm a creative writing instructor."

heheheheh.

Funny link!
posted by dejah420 at 10:27 PM on April 2, 2003

Taken out of context, I find it to be some quite nice pieces of poetry.

Happenings
You're going to be told lots of things.
You get told things every day that don't happen.

It doesn't seem to bother people, they don't—
It's printed in the press.
The world thinks all these things happen.
They never happened.

Everyone's so eager to get the story
Before in fact the story's there
That the world is constantly being fed
Things that haven't happened.

All I can tell you is,
It hasn't happened.
It's going to happen.
posted by Eirixon at 3:43 AM on April 3, 2003

I take back every bad thing I ever said about Donald Rumsfeld.
posted by grrarrgh00 at 7:19 AM on April 3, 2003