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Dealing With Saddam
April 11, 2003 5:53 PM   Subscribe

Dealing With Saddam What's in the cards for the missing members of the Iraqi high command? According to Reuters AlertNet "The United States will soon deliver Iraq's deposed president Saddam Hussein and his inner circle into the hands of its own troops -- as a deck of playing cards...Brigadier General Vincent Brooks held up one of the first examples of the card packs at a Central Command briefing on Friday, explaining that each card depicted a character the United States wanted pursued, killed or captured." Checking the deck quite predictably we find that Saddam is portrayed as the Ace of Spades, and his strong-arm younger son Qusay is tricked out as Ace of Clubs. Ironically, elder-psychopathic progeny Uday, who is said to favor the use of rape as a weapon of torture, is imaged as the Ace of Hearts. An Adobe Acrobat PDF image of the full deck is available at Defense Link.

Is this the the new US military card game, Poke-Iman? "Hey, soldiers...gotta catch 'em all!"
posted by Dunvegan (27 comments total)

 
I wonder how long it will be before these show up in stores?
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:01 PM on April 11, 2003


I already envision a thriving business for Saddam's now-unemployed notorious Iraqi doubles -- a new career as Saddam impersonators in Vegas
posted by matteo at 6:07 PM on April 11, 2003


I wonder how long it will be before these show up in stores?

Well, if Archie McPhee--do take the Nerd Test--can carry your
Heroes of The Torah rabbi trading cards, MrBaliHai, no time at all.
posted by y2karl at 6:21 PM on April 11, 2003


What, no card for Baghdad Bob? I'm so depressed.
posted by mcwetboy at 6:25 PM on April 11, 2003


The Pokemon concept is a bit different in that cards are individually collectable, you can make a deck out of whatever cards suit you. For a poker deck you need the entire deck and only the entire deck. Trading a Jack of Hearts from one deck to another, for example, makes two entire decks useless.

/nerd nitpick
posted by aeschenkarnos at 6:33 PM on April 11, 2003


What, no card for Baghdad Bob? I'm so depressed.

The jokers are just waiting to be photoshopped.
posted by machaus at 6:40 PM on April 11, 2003


What's with the H-U-S-A-Y-N spelling on the cards? First time I've seen that.
posted by yhbc at 6:49 PM on April 11, 2003


"I already envision a thriving business for Saddam's now-unemployed notorious Iraqi doubles
-- a new career as Saddam impersonators in Vegas" --matteo




They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They're doppelganger ooky,
The Saddams Family.

He ruled a cruel regime,
But you would never see him,
Just Tom, Dick, and Raheem.
The Saddams Family.

[snap-snap] Discreet
[snap-snap] Retreat
[snap-snap] Defeat

Hey doubles, get a shawl on,
Escape and get your crawl on,
Baghdad has really fallen...
On Saddam's Family.
[snap-snap]
posted by Dunvegan at 7:01 PM on April 11, 2003


by the way.. the .pdf sucks. It constantly has to load all 50 pictures.

Can't they just give us cards, one or two on a page?
posted by RobbieFal at 7:10 PM on April 11, 2003


Alternatively, there are the Unofficial Operation Iraqi Freedom Action Cards.
posted by homunculus at 7:30 PM on April 11, 2003


I'm hoping to get a deck, just for the collector's value.

Think of the poker games...
posted by FormlessOne at 7:35 PM on April 11, 2003


Poke-Imam?
posted by Eekacat at 7:41 PM on April 11, 2003


Mosque-opoly? Guess who wants the Arab Street! Sorry.
posted by Onanist at 8:22 PM on April 11, 2003


What's with the H-U-S-A-Y-N spelling on the cards?

That's the way the CIA World Factbook has spelled it for at least a few years (scroll down to the "Government" section). I'd guess that this wanted list was prepared from CIA information, so whoever put it together was probably familiar with the institutional usage. Arabic words are notoriously difficult to anglicize, as anyone who remembers the whole Kaddafi/Gadhafi/Qaddafi mess from the '80s should remember.
posted by Mars Saxman at 9:34 PM on April 11, 2003


by the way.. the .pdf sucks. It constantly has to load all 50 pictures.

Don't open it in a browser--Save Target As, then open the file in stand-alone Acrobat. Works fine that way.
posted by AstroGuy at 10:28 PM on April 11, 2003


Oh my god. This guy.

He looks funny.
posted by sklero at 12:07 AM on April 12, 2003


For all its worth, back in the late 80's when I was a 68 Bravo (Aircraft Powerplant Repairer) in the army, they were handing out decks of card with aircraft recognition drawings on them. It makes good sense, actually. A pack of cards is lightweight, fits easily in your pocket, and military life is filled with hurry-up-and-wait periods where playing a game of cards passes the time. This is nothing new.
posted by Lokheed at 1:01 AM on April 12, 2003


Iraq: the Gathering!

Shock and Awe
Artifact
1 Mountain, 6 Plains

Tap to remove Baghdad cards from play
Tap to remove any one creature card from play
Shock and Awe untaps only when there are fewer Land cards than Artifacts in play.

Undead Civilians
Creature
1 Swamp
0/1

0:Regenerate
Sacrifice Undead Civilians to block all damage done to you by creatures and artifacts this turn.

Civil Liberties
1 Forest, 1 Plains, 1 Island
Enchantment

Sacrifice to remove all Muslim and/or Terrorist creatures from play.

Osama bin Laden
Muslim Legend
7 Plains, 4 Mountains
3000/12

Osama bin Laden may not be blocked while opponent has Civil Liberties cards in play.
posted by Pseudoephedrine at 1:14 AM on April 12, 2003


Man, I had a deck of these, only with Sunshine Girls (the fully clothed, bowdlerised Calgary Sun version of Page 3 Girls). Can't see gettin' off on the Ba'ath party myself, but it takes all kinds, right?
posted by arto at 2:51 AM on April 12, 2003


Poke-Iman? What are the rules?
posted by yerfatma at 4:58 AM on April 12, 2003


They're very lucky there's exactly 52 bad guys in Iraq...

BTW, for those annoyed at the PDF, there's a html version.
posted by gemp at 7:04 AM on April 12, 2003


There are on eBay already. About 15 for an electronic version (the PDF), and about US$500 for the real thing in a case.
posted by DBAPaul at 7:09 AM on April 12, 2003


Double-weak jokey observation: Defenselink is not playing with a full deck. Har har.
posted by hairyeyeball at 7:17 AM on April 12, 2003


yerfatma
you need to look like David Bowie
posted by matteo at 10:50 AM on April 12, 2003


Speaking of a full deck...
posted by sudama at 9:06 AM on April 17, 2003


I wonder how long it will be before these show up in stores?

ahem:

From: "GoUSA"
To: y2 karlATcapitolhillDOTnet
(edited for spambots)
Date: Thu, 17 Apr 2003 16:10:12 -0400
Subject: Get the "Iraq Most Wanted" Deck of Cards!

Get the Iraqi 'Most-Wanted' Deck of Playing Cards--Only $5.95 a Set!

You've seen these cards on the nightly news. They've been featured in newspapers worldwide. Now you can own the one true collector's item from Operation Iraqi Freedom. This is the same 55-card deck given to Coalition soldiers featuring the Iraq's 52 "Most-Wanted" leaders.

Don't wait on this one! This is one of the hottest items in the country and we can barely keep them in stock! Set of four quantity-priced decks also available. Buy them for poker night or to hand out to your friends and family!

This deck is printed by the same company supplying these cards to the US Embassy in Kuwait. This is a real, usable deck of playing cards, printed on casino-quality stock. Don't be fooled by imitations!

posted by y2karl at 4:57 PM on April 17, 2003


this is spooky--I got my second spam of this as I posted...
posted by y2karl at 5:00 PM on April 17, 2003


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