No Respect I Tell Ya, No Respect

April 29, 2003 2:31 PM

No Respect I Tell Ya, No Respect Former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf is attempting to surrender to US forces, according to a London-based Arabic newspaper. But Al-Sharq al-Awsat says the Americans have refused to arrest Mr Sahhaf - who became a familiar face during the war with his upbeat assessments of Iraqi military "successes" - because he does not appear on their "most wanted" list of 55 former regime officials
posted by turbanhead (20 comments total)

He said the former minister was still trying to negotiate his arrest, fearing for his safety in the Iraqi capital.

Despite being the regime's mouthpiece, Mr Sahhaf is not considered to have been one of Saddam Hussein's closest allies.

Fearing his safety from who? CNN made this guy out to be an evil man when they told how they kept certain tales hidden so Saddam would allow a CNN office to stay open in Iraq over the last few years. I'm confused now.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:42 PM on April 29, 2003

So we had to bomb Al-Jazeera's offices for spreading propaganda, but this guy... huh?
posted by zekinskia at 2:44 PM on April 29, 2003

US President George W Bush has admitted that he enjoyed Mr Sahhaf's briefings so much that he used to interrupt some of his meetings just to watch him.

"He's my man, he was great," he told NBC television in a recent interview. "Somebody accused us of hiring him and putting him there. He was a classic."

Now that's funny.
posted by linux at 2:44 PM on April 29, 2003

Glad he's still alive, at least.
posted by Captain_Tenille at 2:44 PM on April 29, 2003

zekinskia, why throw a troll into this thread?
posted by pjgulliver at 2:48 PM on April 29, 2003

I am surprised that he hasn't already been hired by Letterman or Leno. He could become a popular celebrity in the U.S. in no time.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:48 PM on April 29, 2003

He's sooo Mahir. Someone get him Anna Nicole's number.
posted by donkeyschlong at 2:58 PM on April 29, 2003

Fearing his safety from who?

That's easy -- all of the people that Sadaam oppressed for the past twenty or so years. He wants to be arrested because he wants to cut a deal to ensure his future safety and comfort (like the one allegedly offered to Tariq Aziz). Of course, the only reason to cut a deal with Mohammed Saeed al-
posted by Durwood at 3:37 PM on April 29, 2003

Sorry about the incomplete post...

The only reason to cut a deal would be for information..and the guy's information is about as unreliable as you can get.
posted by Durwood at 3:39 PM on April 29, 2003

"I now inform you that you are too far from reality."

Every war needs some decent comic relief, even from a complete bastard.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:49 PM on April 29, 2003

So if they don't arrest this guy, can he collect unemployment under the provisional govenrment? I can just imagine his resume:

IRAQ INFORMATION MINISTER
Duties/Description: Told unbelievable lies to Iraqi civilians and world, became cult figure on Internet. Called "great" by President George W. Bush. Attempted surrender to US forces, but they preferred to play poker in Saddam's palace with me instead.

JOB INTERVIEWER: "And what have you been doing since then, Al-Sharq al-Awsat?"

AL-SHARG AL-ASWAT: "There's a giant koala that's about to eat you, Ms. Interviewer."

JOB INTERVIEWER: "Cut the crap. The truth."

AL-SHARG AL-ASWAT: "I worked a few odd jobs as monster rally truck announcer and bartender. I was a good bartender. But it just wasn't the same."

JOB INTERVIEWER: "Actually, believe it or not, Mr. Al-Sharg Al-Aswat, we might just have the ideal position for you."

AL-SHARG AL-ASWAT: "You do?"

JOB INTERVIEWER: "Yes. Have you heard of FOX News?"
posted by ed at 4:06 PM on April 29, 2003

As I said on my site, I still think he's working for China now...
posted by bwg at 8:08 PM on April 29, 2003

You figure this guy could get alot of money for a book deal?
posted by RobbieFal at 8:24 PM on April 29, 2003

He's got a job offer from al-Arabiya TV in Dubai...
posted by Vidiot at 8:46 PM on April 29, 2003

Ed: You may just be a prophet. Wait.
posted by zaelic at 1:46 AM on April 30, 2003

He doesn't need to surrender, he needs to get an agent!

I reckon there could be a bidding war for him, he could easily out-rate Oprah, Dr Phil and Springer combined! He'd be brilliant on TV.

He is just what the international TV audiences have been crying out for. Perhaps as a judge on American Idol; "No no Carmen, don't listen to those infidels! You are the only person who could possibly carry the burden of being the next Idol!"

Actually, I just noticed that "Iraqi Idol" really rolls of the tongue easily. And can you say, "Survivor: Basra"?

How about as the host for the next series of The Amazing Race; "Jim and Sandy, you are the first team in. You will carry on to glory against the other infidal teams!"

I NEED TO BE A TV EXECUTIVE!
posted by sycophant at 4:50 AM on April 30, 2003

Oh my god, why was I so blind! It's not limited to reality shows!!

"Tonight, on ABC, it's our new hit comedy, The Information Minister."

Or better still:
"Previously, on Ministry Of Information:"
"Oh glorious Allah! The tanks are on the horizon Saeed, whatever are we to do?"
"TANKS?! The only tanks I see are the ones the infidels are burning in!"
posted by sycophant at 4:53 AM on April 30, 2003

Wouldn't it just be hilarious if he replaced Ari Fleischer?
posted by bwg at 6:53 AM on April 30, 2003

What about Salam Pax? Surely some of our intrepid reporters could try to find him and get an interview?
posted by Damienmce at 11:43 AM on April 30, 2003

by the way, Damienmce, this is the URL for Salam. (mirrored here.) Hope he's okay and is just without electricity at the moment...
posted by Vidiot at 8:10 AM on May 1, 2003