I am/do/once/often/can.....

May 5, 2003 7:24 AM

100 Things About Me -- Webring of About me pages with a twist. (perfect for the nosy among us, like me) From the most mundane to the incredible to the boring to the random to the hysterical...
Here's a sampling, from gingersmack:
55. When making myself a sandwich with cheese, the cheese must go on the same side as the mustard.
56. I've had a broken leg and the chicken pox at the same time. I was two.
57. I have a good sense of direction.
posted by amberglow (134 comments total)

1) i am cling-free.
2) my cat's breath tastes like metatalk.
3) i consider any bread found within 10 inches of any mustard to have been terminally contaminated.
4) i am really madamjujujive.
posted by quonsar at 7:52 AM on May 5, 2003

5) I find it hard to think of 100 things peculiar to me. Does that make me shallow?
6) I, apparently, have bad gastrointestinal reactions to fresh blueberries.
7) I consider standing on one's head and leaning against a wall a cop-out.
8) I have a flagrant disregard for those without a good sense of the disgusting.
posted by thanotopsis at 8:21 AM on May 5, 2003

9) I don't embrace change, I don't like change, I can't make change.
10) For many years I mispronounced the time of day.
11) Three small squirrels have built a nest in my weltanschauung.
12) I LOVE samba music played on the tuba.
13) Like the screamapillar, I am sexually attracted to fire.
posted by luser at 8:31 AM on May 5, 2003

14) Sometimes I cough so hard it tears my throat.
15) I have crushes on two skinny musicians whose names start with E. What are the chances?
16) My uncle told me that flat seashells were whale toenails, and I believed him.
17) I used to belong to a gang. It had two members and a dictionary.
posted by hippugeek at 9:10 AM on May 5, 2003

18) i rarely read the "about me" page on a website
19) i'm not interested in people's teeny quirks
20) navel gazing gives me a headache

*rushes off to find an aspirin*
posted by t r a c y at 9:14 AM on May 5, 2003

21) I feel your pain.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:22 AM on May 5, 2003

22) That ballet really paid off.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:33 AM on May 5, 2003

23) Similarly, when I make a sandwich, the mustard goes on the bread, not the meat, and mayonaise may not go on the same side as the mustard.
posted by tomorama at 9:34 AM on May 5, 2003

24) I'd make a really good President of Mankind.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:35 AM on May 5, 2003

25) I have webbed feet.
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:37 AM on May 5, 2003

26) i am a duck-billed platypus.
posted by quonsar at 9:43 AM on May 5, 2003

15) I can't count very well.
posted by goto11 at 9:45 AM on May 5, 2003

27) I know that duck-billed platypuses are one of the few animals that provide all the ingredients for a basic omelette. They have no nipples but exude milk through their skin.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:48 AM on May 5, 2003

28) I am apparently one of quonsar's multiple personalities. I am the one that likes mustard on my bread.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:57 AM on May 5, 2003

29) I wish I were quonsar
posted by psychotic_venom at 9:59 AM on May 5, 2003

30) My new fighting technique is, to tell the truth, pretty stoppable
posted by turaho at 10:09 AM on May 5, 2003

31) Fish have feelings, too.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:16 AM on May 5, 2003

32) I believe 100 random things about me would be fascinating to read. If you're me.
posted by widdershins at 10:20 AM on May 5, 2003

33) I'm not you.
posted by languagehat at 10:21 AM on May 5, 2003

35) misnumbered lists drive me nuts.
posted by quonsar at 10:23 AM on May 5, 2003

34. I can construct a sentence entirely out of Metafilter cliches.
35. I once fought in the playground in defense of a friend who was accused of picking her nose and eating it. It was a draw.
36. I like soup.
posted by jokeefe at 10:29 AM on May 5, 2003

37.37) I truly believe I'm different.
posted by psychomedia at 10:33 AM on May 5, 2003

38) I am the emperor of ice cream.


I actually tried, a couple different times, to make up an interesting, fictional 100 things list, but it's near impossible. The things are so completely arbitrary, there's no interesting way to be funny; you could be mocking, but after about 15 things it just sounds harsh. You can sort of tell stories with it, if you're a little creative, but then it's hard to keep it as a list; in the end, I realized I was fudging the form so badly it had lost what little integrity I was trying to assume by adopting it in the first place.

So these lists seem to be one of those rare things that are truly only interesting (to whatever extent that is, of course) precisely because they happen to be true.
posted by mattpfeff at 10:40 AM on May 5, 2003

pile on mattpfeff!
posted by quonsar at 10:48 AM on May 5, 2003

39) I hate you all.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:59 AM on May 5, 2003

40) eyeballkid is my finger puppet
posted by riffola at 11:02 AM on May 5, 2003

41) I am in love with a woman better than the woman of my dreams.
posted by riffola at 11:09 AM on May 5, 2003

42) I have an answer for everything.
posted by punilux at 11:09 AM on May 5, 2003

43) I have an awful lot of questions.
posted by amberglow at 11:11 AM on May 5, 2003

44) I like pancakes.
posted by briank at 11:14 AM on May 5, 2003

45) I don't like pancakes
46) Apple thinks I switched over to their side ;)
posted by riffola at 11:19 AM on May 5, 2003

47) I'm writing one of these 100 lists instead of studying for my Network+ exam.
posted by grabbingsand at 11:25 AM on May 5, 2003

48) My third nipple plays "Eine Kleine Nachtmusike" when pressed.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:30 AM on May 5, 2003

49) I like it when riffola's fingers are really really really really cold.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:36 AM on May 5, 2003

50) I can't believe I've read this far.
posted by Songdog at 11:40 AM on May 5, 2003

50) In one incarnation of my blog or another, I was actually in the 100 Things webring.
51) Between the various incarnations of personal writing sites I've had online in the last 6+ years, I've taken part in the 100 Things meme (which predates the ring by a good four years) at least 7 times.
52) The verdict is out on whether or not I'll do it again.
posted by Dreama at 11:43 AM on May 5, 2003

53) My dog is cooler than yours.
posted by vito90 at 11:45 AM on May 5, 2003

54) beelzebub has a devil put aside for me.
55) for me.
56) for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
posted by quonsar at 11:48 AM on May 5, 2003

1) I dont read whats been posted before.
57) On Preview, Oops
58) I howl at the moon
posted by vacapinta at 11:59 AM on May 5, 2003

59) I know I'm an adult because I'm asked to buy beer and cigarettes.
posted by euphorb at 12:15 PM on May 5, 2003

60) I have confidence in sunshine.
61) I have confidence in rain.
62) When I think about you I touch myself.
63) I ask euphorb to buy me beer and cigarettes so euphorb will feel like an adult.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:43 PM on May 5, 2003

64) At this very moment I'm listening to Aqualung.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:03 PM on May 5, 2003

65) I am relieved that languagehat is not me. That would just be too weird.
posted by widdershins at 1:12 PM on May 5, 2003

66) I do not participate in memes.
posted by transient at 1:12 PM on May 5, 2003

67) i slurp my coffee
posted by poopy at 1:16 PM on May 5, 2003

67) I can eat 17 hamsters in under a minute.
68) When I see a rainbow, I cry for all the children.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:16 PM on May 5, 2003

69) Sometimes.
70) I spend entirely too much time on Metafilter. :-)
posted by brool at 1:19 PM on May 5, 2003

71) i bend to pick ducats
posted by quonsar at 1:21 PM on May 5, 2003

72) I often wear my coffee.
posted by rainbaby at 1:24 PM on May 5, 2003

73.) I still believe that the Mothership will come get me some day.
74.) I *AM* the Lizard Queen.
posted by dejah420 at 1:25 PM on May 5, 2003

73)I killed a man in Reno.
74)I tickled Janet Reno.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:25 PM on May 5, 2003

Dejah, you claim jumper!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:26 PM on May 5, 2003

Hahaha! Fear my lightning lizard speed!
posted by dejah420 at 1:27 PM on May 5, 2003

75.) I am the Static Queen. I can shock anything.
posted by MsVader at 1:35 PM on May 5, 2003

76) I've always been a late joiner.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:38 PM on May 5, 2003

77) I am Superman, and I can do anything.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:48 PM on May 5, 2003

78.) Someone should add this thread to the 100 Things About Me webring.
79.) No they shouldn't.
posted by me3dia at 1:49 PM on May 5, 2003

80.) I am always late to the party
posted by shoepal at 1:57 PM on May 5, 2003

81.) Sometimes, I repeat myself. And others. I am echolalic.
posted by shoepal at 1:59 PM on May 5, 2003

82) I hope Matt closes this thread when it hits 100 stupid things about us.
posted by zarah at 2:12 PM on May 5, 2003

83.) I love Chachi.
posted by janespeed at 2:12 PM on May 5, 2003

83.) I fought the law.
84.) The law won.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 2:12 PM on May 5, 2003

damn!
posted by inpHilltr8r at 2:13 PM on May 5, 2003

85) In 1985, I thought We Are The World was the coolest thing ever.
posted by linux at 2:27 PM on May 5, 2003

86. I am woman, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore, and I know to much to go back and pretend.
posted by jokeefe at 2:34 PM on May 5, 2003

87) salmonberry yarfed after reading this.
posted by riffola at 2:34 PM on May 5, 2003

88) I screw up often.
posted by riffola at 2:37 PM on May 5, 2003

87a) Actually, I yarfed after reading this.
posted by Salmonberry at 2:41 PM on May 5, 2003

89) This evening I mistakenly took a swig from a beer can which contained only dead batteries and cigarette ends.
posted by chrid at 2:42 PM on May 5, 2003

90) Other people correct my mistakes often.
posted by riffola at 2:44 PM on May 5, 2003

91) Using "It's tits!" as an expression of greatness never works as well I think it will.

92) I have a great fear of putting anything out for public purview.
posted by eschewed at 2:45 PM on May 5, 2003

93.) I'm usually the last to know (or in the last 2%).
94.) I believe in the power of the one-liner.
95.) I'm particularly obsessive about jokes with hyperlinks attached.
96.) I am not Cling-Free, but I have been mistaken for Snuggles.
97.) I am not the Lizard King, or the Dairy Queen, but I could be the Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl
98.) In 1985, I thought Men Without Hats were kinda cool.
99.) I'm gonna party like it's Thing #99!!!
100.) I'm a personal friend of Thing #1 and Thing #2
posted by wendell at 2:48 PM on May 5, 2003

101.) D'oh! I'm always late to the party.
posted by jeremias at 2:50 PM on May 5, 2003

and 102) I really really enjoy being a part of Metafilter--especially today!
posted by amberglow at 2:51 PM on May 5, 2003

103) I never know when to quit.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:52 PM on May 5, 2003

104) Matt stops reading after the first 8 points.
105) A radio station in my hometown has the call letters KLIT. But it's called "K-Lite". Nevertheless, it's the warm moist center of my FM dial.
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:17 PM on May 5, 2003

104) I wonder if anyone will follow my lead and count this puppy back to 1.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:31 PM on May 5, 2003

103) My place of power is in the place behind the power.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:33 PM on May 5, 2003

102) I check email too much, and don't check metafilter enough.
posted by synapse at 4:49 PM on May 5, 2003

101) When I was seven years old, I thought I was a tree. I was right. I was a tree. And all manner of birds and small woodland creatures felt safe and sheltered in my boughs.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:56 PM on May 5, 2003

100) I'm waiting for a compile to finish.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 5:16 PM on May 5, 2003

99) I just moved a whole bunch of car parts and boxes of old toys out of one basement and into another. The value of the junk in the boxes is in inverse relationship to the amount of work required.

98) On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store, where a Mercedes backed into me as I was getting a shopping cart. I was uninjured, but thank you for your concern.

97) Wombats.

96) In 1985 I thought the Dead Kennedys were pretty cool.
posted by jokeefe at 6:07 PM on May 5, 2003

95) Last night I stayed in and rolled pennies.
94) Tonight I'm reading this.
93) I pity me.
posted by gottabefunky at 6:24 PM on May 5, 2003

92) i just love going down.
posted by quonsar at 6:36 PM on May 5, 2003

93) Going back up is fun, too.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:37 PM on May 5, 2003

92) been here, done this.
posted by quonsar at 6:38 PM on May 5, 2003

92) been here, done this.
posted by languagehat at 6:45 PM on May 5, 2003

91) I initially felt angry at Wendell for using 7 slots just so he could be number 100, but then I realized I am really only angry at myself.
posted by Hildago at 6:45 PM on May 5, 2003

90) Same as it ever was.

89) I'm as excited as a little girl (?!) about Matrix Reloaded coming out in two weeks, and this despite the fact that the actual Matrix storyline is hokey and full of gaping plot holes, although the overall message (you're ultimately responsible for your limitations) is pretty good.

88)
posted by five fresh fish at 7:41 PM on May 5, 2003

88 lines about 44 women.
posted by shoepal at 9:13 PM on May 5, 2003

87) Am trying to decide if fake humping on Skin-a-Max is a worthwhile diversion from MeFi.
posted by DakotaPaul at 10:11 PM on May 5, 2003

86. this joint!
posted by Vidiot at 10:36 PM on May 5, 2003

85) I've got a cold.
posted by ginz at 1:11 AM on May 6, 2003

84). I'm actually the guy who's early to the party.
posted by jeremias at 3:43 AM on May 6, 2003

83) I finally found a thread I know enough about to post on!
82) I plan to follow this thread like a fiend because I'm going to be #1... muahaha
posted by lnicole at 3:50 AM on May 6, 2003

81) isn't it friday yet???
posted by quonsar at 4:32 AM on May 6, 2003

80) I'd just like to make this comment.
posted by swift at 5:54 AM on May 6, 2003

79) This morning while sitting in traffic in the rain, some guy in ridiculous plaid pants got out of his convertible Mercedes to yell at me because he imagined that I was trying to hit his bumper. Apparently the whole world is out to destroy his new car.
posted by MsVader at 5:58 AM on May 6, 2003

78) this thread is beginning to feel like an old broken record.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:49 AM on May 6, 2003

77) I rock.
posted by taz at 7:03 AM on May 6, 2003

76) I do not live in a river in Yokohama
posted by SealWyf at 7:16 AM on May 6, 2003

75.) I live in a van, down by the river!
posted by Vidiot at 7:41 AM on May 6, 2003

74) I just want to kiss your watery hands.
posted by Vidiot at 7:45 AM on May 6, 2003

73) Most of the interesting things about us aren't about us and aren't very interesting at all.

72) This time, I'm not posting naked.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:19 AM on May 6, 2003

71) I am very good at identifying cars.
70) I am very good at identifying songs.
69) My nose works too well.
68) I almost bought a PeeWee Herman doll last week at a thrift shop. To replace my old one.
posted by allpaws at 11:38 AM on May 6, 2003

67.5) is a comfortable temperature, but I'll always want it to be warmer.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:40 AM on May 6, 2003

67) I'm tempted to post 67 comments in this comment box so I can get to #1 and foil lnicole.

66) I'm too lazy to actually do it.
posted by languagehat at 12:52 PM on May 6, 2003

67) *sneeze*
posted by ginz at 12:55 PM on May 6, 2003

65) I just hit mandatory retirement age.
64) Will you still need me, will you still feed me.
63) This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife.
posted by jokeefe at 1:00 PM on May 6, 2003

62) bottles of beer on the wall
posted by PrinceValium at 2:05 PM on May 6, 2003

61) I can pull my eyelid out as far as it will go. Then blow my nose.
posted by feelinglistless at 2:45 PM on May 6, 2003

60) I often read MetaFilter sideways. Really.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:05 PM on May 6, 2003

59) workin' on a chain gang
58) goin'
57) down
56) down
55) down
posted by quonsar at 6:45 AM on May 7, 2003

-56) stop coming to my house
posted by angry modem at 7:49 AM on May 7, 2003

54) I am often surprised and always amazed at the willingness and ability of a bunch of semi-strangers to collaborate on something so perfectly like this.

53) So much so that I'll even call off my own sabbatical to join in when it's really worth it.

52) There have been 161 links and 4,186 comments posted since your last visit.

51) I've got some reading to catch up on.
posted by yhbc at 9:40 AM on May 7, 2003

50) I didn't know yhbc was on sabbatical
posted by amberglow at 10:38 AM on May 7, 2003

49) I walked 49 miles - no wait...
48) I walked 48 miles - oops that's not it...

47) I walked forty seven miles of barbed wire
I got a cobra snake for a necktie
Got a brand house by the roadside
Made out of rattlesnake hide
Brand new chimney set on top
Made out of a human skull
And so, come on child
Tell me who do you love?
posted by madamjujujive at 11:10 AM on May 7, 2003

46) I love madamjujujive
45) I have noticed that yhbc has taken a sabbatical, which seems to be coincident with his giving up smoking.
44) I believe in coincidences.
43) But I don't trust coincidences.
42) So light up, yhbc, and come home.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:12 PM on May 7, 2003

41) I'm surprised the meaning of life wasn't mentioned.

40) I wish I were madamjujujive's love child.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:44 PM on May 7, 2003

39) i wish i were five fresh fish's daddy if he was madamjujujives love child.
38) bamboo goddesses inhabit my boxers.
37) curb your panda.
posted by quonsar at 1:49 PM on May 7, 2003

36) I'll mention the meaning of life, but only because I like five fresh fish.
35) I'm amazed this is still going.
34) I'm roasting a chicken with fresh herbs just picked from my garden, and the smell is making my tummy growl.
33) Once, I posted to MeFi while I was breastfeeding my son...but not this time.
32) I have clean socks on.
posted by dejah420 at 4:12 PM on May 7, 2003

31) is a Mersienne prime. I think. Did I spell that right?
30) There's a cool-looking lock washer under the keyboard of the computer next to me.
29) bolts next to lawnmower ripcords can be dangerous to your thumb.
28) is the second perfect number.
posted by notsnot at 4:51 PM on May 7, 2003

27) In all honesty, I had originally written that I wished I were the lovechild of madamjujujive, and that Quonsar was the father. Spooky.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:25 PM on May 7, 2003

26) five fresh fish, quonsar and madamjujujive as parents would give new meaning to the term "dysfunctional family"
25) WolfDaddy is living proof of the lament that the good men are gay
24) I wish I had been at dejah's house for dinner tonight
23) some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps
posted by madamjujujive at 7:02 PM on May 7, 2003

22) I like hockey.
posted by adampsyche at 7:35 PM on May 7, 2003

21) three French hens

20) two turtle doves

19) and partridge in a pear tree

18)*burp*
posted by dgaicun at 9:35 PM on May 7, 2003

17) I can't believe we ran out of gas before counting down to #1...
16) I was actually kinda hoping the count would go up to #17150, because it would be so cool to have EVERYBODY involved (at least symbolically), and, besides, I'd like to knock 9622 down a notch.
15) But I would've been satisfied if the count had made it up to 206.
posted by wendell at 11:45 PM on May 7, 2003

14) I haven't run out of gas.
13) Yes I have.
posted by languagehat at 7:06 AM on May 8, 2003

12) I arrived far too late, both to work this morning and this thread.
11) Voices tell me to burn stuff
10) I am the lemon merchant
9) I once woke up in bed wearing only a pair of combat boots
8) I didn't remember coming home the night before
7) I still don't
6) Sometimes I feel like an outsider here
5) I'm not overly ambitious
4) And I have my doubts
3) That I'll actually take this
2) All the way to number . . .
posted by tr33hggr at 7:31 AM on May 8, 2003

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments.
posted by yhbc at 7:45 AM on May 8, 2003

1) I hope we have the restraint to stop, like we should have 100 numbers ago. . . .No I don't. yes, I do.
posted by dgaicun at 7:45 AM on May 8, 2003

0) UGH! I just missed it.

well, by hours, but still... at least I got the day right
posted by lnicole at 3:02 PM on May 8, 2003

-1) Huh?
posted by ginz at 6:43 AM on May 9, 2003

-2) I can't believe I've read this far.
posted by Songdog at 7:48 AM on May 9, 2003