Comments on: American Hienie?

American Hienie?

Dome-O-Rama — Wed, 14 May 2003 20:42:21 -0800

Ok, I'm not the American Idol type, but I was aimlessly link clicking and I came to settle on the From Justin to Kelly movie site. Okay, yeah the movie is gonna suck worse that Battlefield Earth meets Ishtar, but as I clicked a link there to see the "poster you voted on!" I noticed Kelly's butt suddenly had suddenly grown to JLo-like dimensions. Before Betty Crocker's PixelHelper...and After.... Baby's got back! Now, who in the long line of marketing weasels and designers working on this poster said "Let's make her butt bigger"? This is the girl that caught criticism for being too big at a whopping size 6 or something. Are they trying to sexy her up? Make her appeal to more latin/black audiences? Was that corner of the poster just not curvy enough? This one really bugs, and puzzles me.

By: Ignatius J. Reilly

Ignatius J. Reilly — Wed, 14 May 2003 20:50:30 -0800

I think they're making that one guy's tits look bigger this season.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:03:56 -0800

Good catch, Dome-O. THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED... it'll depend on how crazy we get with the Photoshop.

By: shagoth

shagoth — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:05:05 -0800

Yes, it is. It's rated C for crap. Good catch on the stupid Photoshop trick, though.

By: t r a c y

t r a c y — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:11:13 -0800

haha ignatius :-D i hate when i see movie posters where it's incredibly obvious the actors have been airbrushed into some unnatural-to-them shape. they do it a lot with julia roberts, sometimes just sticking her head on another woman's body altogether - ie: the "pretty woman" posters. i guess they're fearful we'll all stay home in droves if there's a slight imperfection to be found in the promos. i guess they're idiots.

By: dazed_one

dazed_one — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:20:02 -0800

"i guess they're fearful we'll all stay home in droves if there's a slight imperfection to be found in the promos. i guess they're idiots." Cos I'm going to stay home anyways, no matter how large they make that butt seem.

By: skallas

skallas — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:21:03 -0800

Come on, its just an ass. Actually it makes her look a lot more curvy then having a large ass. There's a long tradition in making sexy movie posters. Remember the original Star Wars poster? I looks like it could have been for a porn movie. Further proof that the cult of celebrity consists of no real people. Now if we could only stop emulating these fakes...

By: monkeymike

monkeymike — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:22:03 -0800

Big asses for all!

By: bonheur

bonheur — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:24:05 -0800

isn't there a chance it's another picture taken slightly before or after the other one, and she's arching her back a little more? Maybe?

By: Samsonov14

Samsonov14 — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:25:27 -0800

Dome, this is exactly the crap that made me sign up here. Thanks. Having said that, you're a dead man. Bringing in fat butts and a TV program in the same post is going to usher in the metafilter D-bags faster than you can say "Iraqfilter". Good luck.

By: scarabic

scarabic — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:32:03 -0800

I like it and I can not lie. These other brothers can't deny.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:44:04 -0800

i guess they're fearful we'll all stay home in droves if there's a slight imperfection to be found in the promos. i guess they're idiots. Although I have the sneaking suspicion that they may have done some market research and found that people would be more apt to see a movie if they altered the poster to make the actors look more inhumanly beautiful... Which would make _us_ the idiots. Oh my...

By: mathowie

mathowie — Wed, 14 May 2003 21:58:44 -0800

You can never have too much junk in the trunk. Now I wonder if this movie will someday play a triple bill with Mariah Carey's Glitter and Britney's Crossroads.

By: PrinceValium

PrinceValium — Wed, 14 May 2003 22:03:23 -0800

Don't forget "Spice World."

By: dgt

dgt — Wed, 14 May 2003 22:07:34 -0800

I haven't seen anyone say it in a long time, so I'll take the risk of being yelled at. I, for one, welcome our large-assed overlords...

By: O9scar

O9scar — Wed, 14 May 2003 22:11:07 -0800

This wouldn't be the first time they've done this. When the poster for Undercover Brother came out, Denise Richards was horrified to discover her backside had been augmented digitally. After she got a surprising amount of positive feedback she changed her tune and actually embraced her "digitally enhanced behind".

By: Dome-O-Rama

Dome-O-Rama — Wed, 14 May 2003 22:12:47 -0800

if I was a dude... I'm all big-butted woman baby! And it's definitely the same shot... they took IN her back to make the butt curve more.

By: t r a c y

t r a c y — Wed, 14 May 2003 22:18:27 -0800

Which would make _us_ the idiots. Oh my... heh, yah... but i don't spend money on glossy american movies, with glossed over movie stars. i like things a bit realer than trad hollywood can produce. (unless we're talking sci fi... i lerve american sci-fi)

By: samuelad

samuelad — Wed, 14 May 2003 22:22:31 -0800

They are clearly going after the vito90 demographic. Perhaps vito90 can tell us if Kelly's embellished butt is lockjaw-worthy.

By: bobo123

bobo123 — Wed, 14 May 2003 22:24:13 -0800

How do we know the big butt isn't the original, and they made it smaller, like in Star Trek V.

By: willnot

willnot — Thu, 15 May 2003 00:01:25 -0800

By: willnot

willnot — Thu, 15 May 2003 00:03:24 -0800

And the double Ls in the name. Making them fit was probably even more important to the design than the tree.

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Thu, 15 May 2003 04:13:57 -0800

Are they trying to sexy her up? Make her appeal to more latin/black audiences? Yeah, those negroes sure do love them big butts, don't they? Is anyone else offended by the very suggestion that the way to attract minority viewers is to apply their stereotypes to white people?

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Thu, 15 May 2003 04:34:18 -0800

I think it's something to be amused by, not so much offended. Besides, the booty-lovin' white guy demographic has been worely under-represented in today's culture. :)

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 15 May 2003 05:19:36 -0800

XQWERTYUIOP, you don't get offended, you are offended, just waiting to happen.

By: kaibutsu

kaibutsu — Thu, 15 May 2003 05:29:20 -0800

what's this stuff coming out of my ear? oh. it's my brain.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 15 May 2003 05:40:10 -0800

an alien from andromeda would need only 20 minutes or so of MTV viewing to come to the conclusion that yes, negroes do like them big butts. it's practically a pop culture meme. at the moment, the only white pop culture icon to come to mind exhibiting the same interest would be hal, the dad on malcolm in the middle, and he's fictitious. oh wait, so are all those rapper d00ds. never mind.

By: The Michael The

The Michael The — Thu, 15 May 2003 06:23:02 -0800

To quote a sage voice on the subject: I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung ... So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah) If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah) Then turn around Stick it out Even white boys got to shout Baby got back (LA face with the Oakland booty)

By: vito90

vito90 — Thu, 15 May 2003 06:28:34 -0800

They are clearly going after the vito90 demographic. Perhaps vito90 can tell us if Kelly's embellished butt is lockjaw-worthy. Too skinny by half, even in the after picture. Who goes into a steak restaraunt and orders the biggest bone on the menu? I want meat, fat, gristle, flesh. I want that shit shakin'. I want that booty to be the size of my own head, minimum.

By: vraxoin

vraxoin — Thu, 15 May 2003 07:02:16 -0800

The sound you just heard was that of Western Civilization coming to a close not with a bang, but a whimper.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 15 May 2003 07:15:12 -0800

Preach On, brother vito. That little twig dosent even have litter, let alone junk in the trunk. And to quote some more sages: Big bottom Big bottom Talk about mud flaps My gal's got 'em. Big bottom Drive me out of my mind. How can I leave this behind?

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Thu, 15 May 2003 07:57:25 -0800

Oh come on. It looks like the designer just did it so they could fit more of the palm tree into frame. Removing part of the back was the point. Rounding out the hips just looks like an after-thought. And the double Ls in the name. willnot, no offense intended, but that's the most ass-inine defense I've heard in a while. They didn't pose in front of a palm tree and then have the background removed for the first link; they posed in front of a flat color so they could be superimposed onto a background for the second link. Since it was assembled from different elements, there are a hundred ways the composition of the poster could have been created to address whatever concerns you think they had. It's jaw-droppingly (sorry, vito90) obvious that the butt enhancement was its own raison d'etre.

By: Cyrano

Cyrano — Thu, 15 May 2003 08:46:46 -0800

"She is an otherwise attractive woman but her ass is to small." or "She is an otherwise attractive woman but her ass is to small so I won't go see her movie." I'm not sure which is worse.

By: rusty

rusty — Thu, 15 May 2003 08:59:51 -0800

_{Please pretend this was posted by someone who doesn't care if everyone knows he watched all of the first season of American Idol...} What's interesting is that Kelly originally had a pretty big butt. When the series started, she was... not chubby, but TV chubby, you know? Like normal sized and buxom. She shrank through the course of the show, and seems to have become even thinner. And now they're forced to digitally reconstruct her original butt. Anyone read Survivor? Fixes for fixes.

By: thanotopsis

thanotopsis — Thu, 15 May 2003 10:05:28 -0800

To quote a sage voice on the subject: I'd like to quote BBD, Chapter 12, Verse 14 of the Buyer's guide to Novelty 80s Hip Hop: Never trust a big butt and a smile.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Thu, 15 May 2003 10:32:39 -0800

WOW! I love that plugin on the BBD link (the "back" part, ironically). Super cool! I'm gonna go there again just so I can watch it. Thanks, thanotopsis. (This is a kind of thing I wanted to get going about eight years ago and never got my act together to produce it.)

By: konolia

konolia — Thu, 15 May 2003 11:57:57 -0800

I wouldn't mind having a big butt if everything didn't match.

By: spilon

spilon — Thu, 15 May 2003 13:26:43 -0800

...the movie is gonna suck worse that Battlefield Earth meets Ishtar. Big butt, small butt, whatever... Ishtar is pure genius! If Justin & Kelly can make a movie half that good, it'll be a cult classic if nothing else!

By: mikrophon

mikrophon — Thu, 15 May 2003 14:32:10 -0800

i don't spend money on glossy american movies, with glossed over movie stars. i like things a bit realer than trad hollywood can produce. I bet you don't own a television either, eh? Hollywood, like pop music, has to be judged on a case to case basis. Did you skip over Punch Drunk Love because it had Adam Sandler in it? The Anniversary Party to avoid Gwyneth Paltrow? You're missing out.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 15 May 2003 15:27:26 -0800

You're missing out. perhaps. but he's not supporting thieves and fascists like jack valenti, either.