The Meat Tree

May 21, 2003 4:14 AM

The Meat Tree. Yes, beef that grows on a tree.
posted by swift (42 comments total)

Sorry, this is basically the same thing as the time-travelling stockbroker story, except for one key fact: this one has the connection to Weekly World News hidden slightly better (hint: look in the top right corner of the page.)
posted by DoomGerbil at 4:25 AM on May 21, 2003

Isn't it great how Yahoo can post anything from any source and people will automatically think it's credible?
posted by Degaz at 4:31 AM on May 21, 2003

Who thought it was credible?
posted by swift at 4:44 AM on May 21, 2003

Credible? no.
Creepy? yes.
posted by Trik at 4:48 AM on May 21, 2003

But, hey - it's really not much weirder than the goats which produce spider silk in their milk.

I want a meat tree for my Atkins diet....better yet - a tuna tree! Pluck the tunafruit in your backyard, and presto - Sushi!
posted by troutfishing at 5:08 AM on May 21, 2003

I've always thought that all the meat we consume in the world can't possibly be generated by the few cows and pigs that we have domesticated and slaughter every once in a while. There must be some huge conspiracy that makes meat in factories and sells it like 'the real thing'.

Now of course this new meat needs to be made from something. My best guesses now are either the replicators from Star Trek or maybe, more realistic, recycling plants.

Ever wondered that you had so much waste that you threw away all the time? Now multiply that waste by one billion and see how the world will be filled up with all that waste. So my best guess is that all the waste is not, as advertised by everyone, dumped or burned but instead cleverly remade into meat that you buy in the supermarket.

Think about it, it all makes sense ;)

There was a great movie about this by Louis de Fumes, although I don't remember the name of the movie itself.
posted by sebas at 5:22 AM on May 21, 2003

mmmmmmmmmm, tomacco
posted by ElvisJesus at 5:23 AM on May 21, 2003

Sorry, this is basically the same thing as the time-travelling stockbroker story,

Wait a minute... are you questioning that story's validity? 'Cause my sister's cousin's brother's great grandson will know the guy. They'll be going to school together.
posted by dobbs at 5:49 AM on May 21, 2003

mmmmmmmmmm, tomacco

Dang, yoinked my Simpsons-as-Nostradamus meme. Elvis, Elvis, when will you finally die?

Creepy, yes.

Yes. It's the Transgenic Babel Bagel.
posted by hairyeyeball at 5:56 AM on May 21, 2003

This must be a hoax. No one would pay that much attention to complaining vegetarians.
posted by jon_kill at 6:01 AM on May 21, 2003

Ever wondered that you had so much waste that you threw away all the time? Now multiply that waste by one billion and see how the world will be filled up with all that waste. So my best guess is that all the waste is not, as advertised by everyone, dumped or burned but instead cleverly remade into meat that you buy in the supermarket.

Wednesday is Soylent Green day.
posted by alumshubby at 6:09 AM on May 21, 2003

mmm, soylent geen
posted by shadow45 at 6:16 AM on May 21, 2003

It's peeeeeople! Peeeeeeople!!
posted by BirdD0g at 6:39 AM on May 21, 2003

No one would pay that much attention to complaining vegetarians.

*sigh*

/steps slowly away from this thread . . .
posted by tr33hggr at 6:50 AM on May 21, 2003

Who thought it was credible?

Dude, if you think that's post-worthy, wait till you see this other site I just found! Like this one, the news stories are made up, only they sound just like real stories, and it's even funnier! I'm getting a bunch of links from it together to generate some fresh, hilarious discussions later today!
posted by soyjoy at 6:53 AM on May 21, 2003

Ok, so long as it doesn't get mad tree disease.
posted by walrus at 7:05 AM on May 21, 2003

Dude, if you think that's post-worthy, wait till you see this other site I just found!

Dude. Don't have a cow.
posted by swift at 7:23 AM on May 21, 2003

C'mon swift fess up.. you really though meat grew on trees.
posted by stbalbach at 8:08 AM on May 21, 2003

Who thought it was credible?

52 million AOL, WebTV and MSN customers.
posted by quonsar at 8:27 AM on May 21, 2003

Yeah, I really think this is going to become a problem for Yahoo eventually. The average Joe might start thinking twice about the credibility of anything they read on Yahoo.com. It's the users' fault because they are too stupid to pay attention to the navigation elements on the page. But Grandma Jones is getting senile, and all she knows is that Yahoo reports hoaxes as if they were real news stories.
posted by TreeHugger at 8:52 AM on May 21, 2003

"The average Joe might start thinking twice about the credibility of anything they read on Yahoo.com..."

Start? Where you been? One should question the credibility of anything read on the Internet. Period. Even if a website happens to have a consistent reputation for dependable information, there's always that first time. The issue here isn't the credibility of Yahoo's news gathering. The issue is this...

Ewww! Gross!
posted by ZachsMind at 8:58 AM on May 21, 2003

/steps slowly away from this thread . . .
posted by tr33hggr at 9:50 AM EST on May 21

Yeah, I really think this is going to become a problem for Yahoo eventually.
posted by TreeHugger at 11:52 AM EST on May 21

Only just now did I realize you two aren't the same person. I mean... you're not, right?
posted by soyjoy at 9:13 AM on May 21, 2003

I like my meat grown in vats, thank you.
posted by Hackworth at 9:17 AM on May 21, 2003

One should question the credibility of anything read on the Internet. Period. Even if a website happens to have a consistent reputation for dependable information, there's always that first time.

It's exactly for this reason that I get all my news via newspapers and television
posted by SilentSalamander at 9:30 AM on May 21, 2003

Caviar on a tree. Okay, it's not beef. Still.
posted by ginz at 9:38 AM on May 21, 2003

Pluck the tunafruit in your backyard, and presto - Sushi!

The thought that came to my mind not being true: fresh squeezed blood...ew gross and excuse me too as I go bluck!
posted by thomcatspike at 9:50 AM on May 21, 2003

<JOKE type="pun" class="bad" topic="blod oranges" />
posted by willconsult4food at 10:07 AM on May 21, 2003

<JOKE type="pun" class="bad" topic="blood oranges" />

[what is the opposite of "key bounce"? "key plonk"?]
posted by willconsult4food at 10:11 AM on May 21, 2003

Nope. Maybe that's my bizarro world alter-ego . . .
posted by tr33hggr at 11:11 AM on May 21, 2003

Whoops, forgot the:

Only just now did I realize you two aren't the same person. I mean... you're not, right?
posted by soyjoy at 9:13 AM PST on May 21
posted by tr33hggr at 11:13 AM on May 21, 2003

This is one of those pointless threads that some folks complain about as a quality issue, but hey, it's been good for me.
posted by hairyeyeball at 11:39 AM on May 21, 2003

Forbidden Fruit.
posted by woil at 11:48 AM on May 21, 2003

Grandma Jones is getting senile, and all she knows is that Yahoo reports hoaxes as if they were real news stories.

then again, grandma jones buys the national enquirer each week.
posted by quonsar at 12:24 PM on May 21, 2003

it's in the entertainment and gossip section people.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:04 PM on May 21, 2003

Ooh! Do money next! Do money next!

Weekly World News strikes again.
posted by me3dia at 1:05 PM on May 21, 2003

Try Snopes.
posted by konolia at 3:44 PM on May 21, 2003

Wow - no penis jokes!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:00 PM on May 21, 2003

mumblemumblemumble...sporting wood...stumpy...speaking of hanging meat...mumblemumblemumble

I gots nothing.
posted by ColdChef at 6:09 PM on May 21, 2003

Stavros...this meat tree is for you. ;)

NSFW? I guess, maybe, if your boss has a hang up about botanical woodies, this may not be safe...
posted by dejah420 at 8:23 PM on May 21, 2003

Hi 'Chef!

I agree that this is going to be more and more of a problem for yahoo news. This just ain't news folks. I don't really know what it is, but news it ain't.

...bioengineering research for the UltraModAgri Group...
Sheesh. Google say "huh uh."
posted by zpousman at 9:29 PM on May 21, 2003

There must be some huge conspiracy that makes meat in factories and sells it like 'the real thing'. [meat made from trash gag, and I use that word literally, snipped]

I recently received a pizza from Papa John's that proclaimed on the side of the box, "Made from 100% Recycled Fiber." I thought they meant the box, but now I'm not so sure...
posted by kindall at 9:49 PM on May 21, 2003

...bioengineering research for the UltraModAgri Group...
Sheesh. Google say "huh uh."

Dibbs : I think we have proved that Vic isn’t here…

Norman : Bloody kill him.

Dibbs :…and therefore he couldn’t have come around again. It is a farily simple case of non presence.
posted by soyjoy at 7:37 AM on May 22, 2003