Comments on: Atheism and such

Atheism and such

cohappy — Thu, 22 May 2003 13:40:16 -0800

If you find an atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! Or if that's no fun, how about some Christian Game Theory from theorist "Diamond" Jack Holgroth? Perhaps the classic Prisoners Dilemma?

By: folktrash

folktrash — Thu, 22 May 2003 13:48:51 -0800

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Thu, 22 May 2003 13:48:55 -0800

*sigh*

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 22 May 2003 13:55:31 -0800

"This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse." *keels over to vomit, ends up laughing hysterically instead*

By: jeblis

jeblis — Thu, 22 May 2003 13:58:27 -0800

Oh I was so just going to post the landover shutdown link. Classic!

By: pikachulolita

pikachulolita — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:00:47 -0800

i love that douglas adams is an "anti-christian blackguard". god, i miss that man.

By: Salmonberry

Salmonberry — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:01:41 -0800

"The forces of Secularism just keep trying. It would be comical if it weren't so dastardly." This site is comedy gold! Please tell me this is supposed to be comedy gold.

By: badstone

badstone — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:04:23 -0800

But, the well-reasoned Thermodynics of Hell argument, specifically this postulate: Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since most people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. clearly shows that Pascal's Wager matrix is incomplete and misleading. Just who referees this journal of Theological Game Theory?

By: jeblis

jeblis — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:05:04 -0800

I keep looking for the "this is a parody" disclaimer. Anyone find one?

By: mikrophon

mikrophon — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:09:17 -0800

I never tire of the happy Christian/sad atheist cliche. Seems to me that crotchety old Mr. Gruff seems to have things figured out, still in his robe, drinking coffee on a Sunday morning. I think I've found a new hero.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:11:21 -0800

jeblis:I keep looking for the "this is a parody" disclaimer. Anyone find one? I wasn't totally sure, but I think Crash's "Landover Shutdown" link settles it. Anything that takes the time to mention Landover Baptist is a part of the joke. Sort of like anything that mentions the Church of the Subgenius was most likely created by a member of the church, regardless of its stance on Bob, etc.

By: mikrophon

mikrophon — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:16:10 -0800

Zounds! A'ight, it's 4:20, and I'm not selling woof tickts. Time to roll out.

By: urlnotfound

urlnotfound — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:16:21 -0800

It has to be a parody. Please let it be a parody.

By: punilux

punilux — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:18:22 -0800

can signal Bible passages from memory in fluent semaphore. Now that'll be useful once the heathen internet's shut down. [this is good]

By: ed

ed — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:24:00 -0800

I particularly like the profiles with the "Favorite Passage from Scripture" next to each individual (including "Diamond" Jack). Of course, while we get the book and verse, there isn't a hyperlink to indicate just what this passage is, let alone a quote right next to it that excerpts the passage. Terrible usability. Someone sic Jakob Neilsen on this group!

By: jeblis

jeblis — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:25:25 -0800

Zounds Abstinence Shorts Too bad I already *blew* my chance to wear these.

By: rhyax

rhyax — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:27:21 -0800

this article about "evolution" makes me cry inside.

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:32:35 -0800

I'm so pleased for ya I'm so pleased You have all the answers --Jesus Jones

By: mikrophon

mikrophon — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:45:48 -0800

This page makes Baby Jesus cry. Thanks for the links, Cohappy. So much fun.

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:46:58 -0800

If you find an atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM! Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word. Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them. Creation Science Fun Fact! As a christian I have to cringe at this statement, it's beyond lame. First MYOB, second, I don't think age matters in the maturity of the scripture one is able to digest, we're all equal.

By: donovan

donovan — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:47:08 -0800

. . . I and a group of fellow creation scientists mounted an expedition to the jungles of Africa to track down and bring back photographic evidence of a living dinosaur, thus proving that these Behemoths had indeed survived the Flood as scriptural analysis clearly indicates. According to Po's description, the creature was 7 feet tall at the shoulders. It had a long, thin neck, between 8 and 10 feet in length, which supported a relatively small head that swept back and forth across the ground, munching weeds as it traveled. . . Po's initial scream of Oriental surprise had undoubtedly startled the beast . . . Unfortunately, Po didn't have the presence of mind to stop yelling and take his camera out. And yet they got the photo!! Obvious proof of Creation Science. I might just have to let out a "scream of Oriental surprise!"

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:58:02 -0800

Of course it's a parody you silly people.

By: punilux

punilux — Thu, 22 May 2003 14:59:30 -0800

Aaaaah, rumbled, I think. Check the dropdowns in the guestbook. Seems we may have to look elsewhere for salvation. I sincerely hope.

By: qDot

qDot — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:13:47 -0800

Yes, it's a parody. Check this: Hands Off LB This is apparently the homepage of Kyle Goldman, who *used* to run "Hands off Landover Baptist", but now runs "Hands off Lord's Blessings". He's also the Webmaster for Objective. "Prayer Coach" for the Crusading Wildcats? Come the hell on. This is a site competing with landover baptist, except instead of being snarky, they use "over the edge" type humor. CrossSpot seems to be a real Christian hosting solution. The link on here goes to CrossSpot.net, but CrossSpot.net and .com have the same registrar information, so they're not spoofing. This page, however out there, looks serious enough, and unfortunately, there are people that probably really do believe in/agree with it. Therefore, it's just someone that has an account with the host (and too much money, apparently). Man, I remember when I had useful things to do at work.

By: chemgirl

chemgirl — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:14:28 -0800

I thought it was a parody, I mean, these little goodies in their cafepress shop, as cute as they are, surely aren't CHRISTIAN undergarments (especially in junior sizes for your witnessing child/teen!).

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:21:25 -0800

Of course it's a parody you silly people. If they are trying to be equivalent intentional mockery, they need to juice it up more. This is Sunday morning ZZZZ's.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:25:19 -0800

It's (bad) parody. There are a couple of place names on the Zounds! page. Though there are several Marian counties, "Wilthrope" turns out to be a googlewhack, returning only the Zounds page. Maybe they should have picked "Springfield" as their town name. The complete lack of place names elsewhere on the site is suspicious. Where the hell is Mt. Fellowship Baptist Church located? Where is "Fellowship University"? A search on "Mt. Fellowship Baptist" returns only a page of links, mostly discussing whether the site is a parody. The thing is, it isn't that funny. Maybe it's an in-joke among the Landover people.

By: donovan

donovan — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:27:57 -0800

The dinosaur hunting story I was so taken with (fell for?) includes a stirring subplot of betrayl on the part of Nigel Stubbingwicke, the professional tracker hired to guide our Creation Scientists through the deep dark jungle. No link is given for Stubbingwickebut a quick Google turns up this site. Stubbingwicke's resume briefly notes: "2002 - Led expedition into the Congo to examine rumour of living dinosaur. Found nothing but forest elephants." Either an incredibly elaborate hoax or so off the hook we want to believe it to be one.

By: MzB

MzB — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:44:36 -0800

argh, qDot beat me to it! Do not miss the Apple story!

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:45:26 -0800

The Stubbingwick site is certainly not serious; many of Nigel's adventures are just literary allusions (The Most Dangerous Game, Murders in the Rue Morgue, I'm half-recognizing a couple others) or references to joke cryptozoology ("rock octopods in the Cascades", panthers in Northumberland). Elaborate, yes.

By: skallas

skallas — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:57:06 -0800

If you find a library in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

By: donovan

donovan — Thu, 22 May 2003 15:58:55 -0800

Thank you roboto for confirming both my lack of literary depth and willingness to believe that just about anything is possible when it comes to the, uh, fervently faithly. ;-)

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Thu, 22 May 2003 16:44:24 -0800

GOD IS NOT AN INSURANCE POLICY

By: xbonesgt

xbonesgt — Thu, 22 May 2003 19:05:43 -0800

Any web site which, seemingly seriously, calls Joeseph Goebbels a "noted German Evolutionist" (scroll down to the third section), is probably a parody site.

At least, I would hope so.

By: konolia

konolia — Thu, 22 May 2003 19:26:03 -0800

GOD IS NOT AN INSURANCE POLICY Good thing too. Who could afford the premiums?

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Thu, 22 May 2003 20:43:45 -0800

Scientologists?

By: Joeforking

Joeforking — Thu, 22 May 2003 21:03:00 -0800

I'm praying for Habu.

By: Pericles

Pericles — Fri, 23 May 2003 01:39:20 -0800

"The core of the moon is essentially a large crystal of metallic iron... When it is struck by meteorites (or moon landers) it will reverberate for a period of time .. These devices recorded the impacts of meteorites as expected, but they also picked up a strange, persistent, low-frequency waveform. When the waveform was run through audio processing computers which sped it up and applied various filters to it, it was discovered to be an echoing voice. The voice was speaking in ancient Aramaic! NASA has refused to release these recordings to the public ." Do you think it's TRUE???