Simon vs. Hitler

May 28, 2003 10:00 AM

"I can't compete with Brad Pitt or Ewan McGregor. I can't even compete with John Smith and Joe Average. But, I ask myself... Could I compete with Hitler?" The very best use of HotOrNot ever.
posted by webmutant (39 comments total)

[This Is Hot]
posted by tittergrrl at 10:14 AM on May 28, 2003

Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend...

Just proves the old adage, that no matter what women say about wanting a nice guy, assholes still get laid more.
posted by jonmc at 10:14 AM on May 28, 2003

Could I compete with Hitler?

Apparently not. Sad. So. So. Sad. Maybe most HotOrNot users are Nazis?
posted by catfood at 10:19 AM on May 28, 2003

I like this guy. I think I could drink tea with him and talk about stuff. But there's no way he's sexier than Hitler. Maybe a Mussolini or a Pol Pot, but Hitler? Keep dreaming, buddy.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:20 AM on May 28, 2003

Hitler's a corpse now. Everyone's hotter than Hitler.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:22 AM on May 28, 2003

When did HotorNot turn into a dating service? Many of the photos there now say "click here to meet me".
posted by mathowie at 10:26 AM on May 28, 2003

When did HotorNot turn into a dating service?

been that way fer a while. year and a half, at least. (not that I would ever use it. nosiree bob.)
posted by GeekAnimator at 10:28 AM on May 28, 2003

Let me tell this, and you're getting it straight from the horse, Hitler vas better looking than Churchill, he vas a better dresser than Churchill, had more hair, told funnier jokes, and could dance the pants off Churchill!
posted by tittergrrl at 10:33 AM on May 28, 2003

Google's having a bit of a problem figuring this one out. We have textads for "Big Boy War Toys" ... men's shoes ... and "Weblogs for Churches". Of course the sum of the parts could mean more than the parts themselves. Parts is parts.

Whatever, Simon's a cutie, I'd hit it.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:35 AM on May 28, 2003

Somehow, WolfDaddy, I think that'd only make him feel worse.

Also when I put my self on hotornot, I only got a 7.2, which means I'm beneath a dictator and a dweeb.

Go, me.
posted by jonmc at 10:48 AM on May 28, 2003

Best use of HotorNot?

No way!
posted by bondcliff at 10:53 AM on May 28, 2003

I got an 8. Hmmm, I guess my life finally has meaning: to travel back in time and mutilate Adolph's beautiful face with acid.
posted by insomnyuk at 10:53 AM on May 28, 2003

I wonder if I could compete with Ayn Rand. Or Queen Victoria in her later years. I'm just too chicken to try though.
posted by orange swan at 11:06 AM on May 28, 2003

Oh God I'm so lonely.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:17 AM on May 28, 2003

and could dance the pants off Churchill!

There's a mental image I'd rather not have.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:39 AM on May 28, 2003

Hitler's a corpse now. Everyone's hotter than Hitler.

Hitler's in Hell now. No one's hotter than Hitler.
posted by dhoyt at 11:52 AM on May 28, 2003

Hitler's in Hell now. No one's hotter than Hitler.


Unless it's Stalin.
posted by orange swan at 11:58 AM on May 28, 2003

Hitler's in Hell now. No one's hotter than Hitler.

How do you know? Did he send you a postcard?
posted by Dark Messiah at 12:03 PM on May 28, 2003

I liked the whole project -- it showed pizzazz, gumption and a fun slant on self-deprecation. Plus, Simon is funny and somewhat charming.

Strangely enough, I had never considered Hitler in any other way than as a despicable human being. Looking at him with his blue eyes, no mustache and some colour, he actually does appear fairly good looking. Whodathunkit? What was with that mustache, anyway? Did somebody he looked up to tell him it looked good on him? 'Cause it didn't.
posted by ashbury at 12:08 PM on May 28, 2003

You can't be a ruthless dictator without a 'stache. Unwritten rule.
posted by orange swan at 12:12 PM on May 28, 2003

Let me know if this turns into the thread where we have to reveal what score we pulled on HotOrNot, whether or not we selected the picture that got posted...

(uh oh, looks like it's still on file, too)
posted by NortonDC at 12:15 PM on May 28, 2003

But jonmc, I think you're a cutie, too!

Perhaps my standards are too low. At least I have standards.

Hmph.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:32 PM on May 28, 2003

Unlike the rest of us, WolfDaddy, is that what you're implying? (Not that it might not be the case...)
posted by orange swan at 12:41 PM on May 28, 2003

Someone, and by looks of it many someones, think Hitler's hotter than Simon. The rest of the implication I leave to you...
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:46 PM on May 28, 2003

Poor, poor Pretty_Generic...
posted by Dr_Octavius at 1:14 PM on May 28, 2003

Is it just me, or does the retouched Hitler look a bit like Patrick McGoohan of The Prisoner fame?
posted by grabbingsand at 1:16 PM on May 28, 2003

I love it.

But, Simon, if you see this, lose the facial hair. You're cute, but the chin pubes have to go.
posted by SuzySmith at 1:41 PM on May 28, 2003

Upon releasing the links to the public at large, my score has actually gone down, to 7.4. Meanwhile, that sexy bitch Hitler is up to 9.1

LOL
posted by scarabic at 1:43 PM on May 28, 2003

If you're going to give Hitler blue eyes, should you go the Aryan Distance and give him blond hair as well?

And perhaps a little botox for those premature forehead wrinkles.
posted by witchstone at 1:53 PM on May 28, 2003

Please substitute shouldn't for should in the above comment.
posted by witchstone at 1:55 PM on May 28, 2003

and he was a better painter than churchill !

two coats in one day !
posted by sgt.serenity at 6:10 PM on May 28, 2003

You know, he did a really bad job of removing the mustach. That little dent above the lips is gone. Very disconcerting.
posted by delmoi at 6:56 PM on May 28, 2003

You mean the philtrum, delmoi?

Brought to you by the useless anatomical trivia section of my brain. Also, I was gonna put a picture up, but ... well, just don't do a google image search on 'philtrum'. Seriously. Don't.

Don't.

Seriously.
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:33 PM on May 28, 2003

Simon desperately needs to get rid of the sparse, twisted hairs on his chinny-chin-chin. They look so... nasty.

Hitler always looks like he's got a broomstick rammed deep up his ass. Real hard-core bitterness. A man sans joy. And that mustache, yeesh. And that hairstyle, yeesh.

I wonder if he was picked on as a kid.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:32 PM on May 28, 2003

he's kinda cute, actually. not hitler, the other guy!
posted by mcsweetie at 8:50 PM on May 28, 2003

grabbingsand: Is it just me, or does the retouched Hitler look a bit like Patrick McGoohan...?

Nope, I don't see it. But he looks a lot like James Keach, Stacy's brother, Jane Seymour's wife. Eerily so, if you imagine the motorcycle cop in "Vacation".
posted by hincandenza at 1:21 AM on May 29, 2003

he's kinda cute, actually. not hitler, the other guy!

Scrummy. He can compete with Ewan MacGregor.
posted by Summer at 1:54 AM on May 29, 2003

Best comment:

"Sorry! I gave you a 6 because your pretty good looking. But I would fuck Hitler like an animal. Really, I would suck that cock until his other testicle fell off too. You shouldnt have made him look so hot friend."
posted by NekulturnY at 3:48 AM on May 29, 2003

Hitler without the moustache looks so darn familiar! There is a movie actor who looks just like him, I think - Robert Patrick (Terminator 2, X-Files) maybe?
posted by aeschenkarnos at 12:09 AM on May 30, 2003