Justizzle

June 6, 2003 3:08 AM

"Fo shizzle ma nizzle" versus Her Majesty's Justice.
posted by Pretty_Generic (15 comments total)

mizzle of the tizzle one of my favorite photoshops of all time.
posted by birdherder at 5:56 AM on June 6, 2003

I would have loved to have been in the courtroom for that one. I suspect the judges will now be itching to try out their new slang, just slip it into judgments, real cool-like:

"Not guilty, know what I'm sayin'?"

The Japanese MTV Something-Something Awards were on last night, but I only caught about 10 minutes of the action. Japanese guys pretending to be black hip-hop artists, aping the whole look and attitude, is stunningly pathetic, thoroughly embarrassing to watch. People like Keanu Reeves and Courtney Love have to give out the awards to people they've never heard of, which always makes me think that Sony Pictures puts some clause deep down in their movie contracts, "You may be asked to travel to Japan for promotional events."
posted by planetkyoto at 6:11 AM on June 6, 2003

Japanese guys pretending to be black hip-hop artists, aping the whole look and attitude, is stunningly pathetic, thoroughly embarrassing to watch.

And yet some of the most refreshing lo-fi hip-hop and electronica is coming from Japan, so those guys must be doing something right.
posted by walrus at 6:19 AM on June 6, 2003

I would like to see "gansta'" rappers start using legal jargon in their lyrics. Here are some to get 50 Cent started on his next opus:

-Comparative negligence
-Jurisprudence
-Servient tenement
-Synallagmatic contract
-Pari delicto
-Vicarious liability
-Client-solicitor privilege
posted by sharksandwich at 6:34 AM on June 6, 2003

I agree with walrus on the Japanese hip-hop. It's great, and no less pathetic, IMO, than many black and white American hip hop artists aping the look and attitude of other Black hip hop artists.

Oh, and, wow, check out the urban slang sidebar. Waffy? Slevered? I find them to be, um, bizzurd.
posted by mikrophon at 6:38 AM on June 6, 2003

The judge researched the bizarre-sounding terms in an urban dictionary on the internet.

This is laugh-out-loud funny. Imagine the judge scrolling through this page, going, "ah, so that's what it means. No, wait... ah, so that's...." etc.
posted by soyjoy at 7:15 AM on June 6, 2003

Sharksandwich, how about this:
"You are the Government" by Bad Religion
Hey sit down and listen and they'll tell you when you're wrong.
Eradicate but vindicate as "progress" creeps along.
Puritan work ethic maintains its subconscious edge
As Old Glory maintains your consciousness.
There's a loser in the house, and a puppet on the stool,
And a crowded way of life, and a black reflecting pool,
And as the people bend, the moral fabric dies,
The country can't pretend to ignore its people's cries.
You are the government.
You are jurisprudence.
You are the volition.
You are juridiction.
And I make a difference too.

OK, I cheated a little; this is actually punk rock, and not rap.
posted by CrunchyFrog at 7:22 AM on June 6, 2003

I would like to see "gansta'" rappers start using legal jargon in their lyrics. Here are some to get 50 Cent started on his next opus:

Well, Prince Paul isn't quite a gangster rapper, but check out The Truth, by Handsome Boy Modelling School. It's legal as you like.
posted by bifter at 8:06 AM on June 6, 2003

That quote really reminds me of Bootsy Collins. I can't remember the title of the specific song I'm thinking of, but maybe it rings a bell for someone.

planetkyoto: Japanese hip-hop definitely is bizarre, but the whole "black Japanese" subculture is really cool. Just observe the "black" Japanese artist Korn on any episode of Iron Chef.

You probably know more about this than I do, but I get the feeling you don't appreciate it as much. I can't make a judgement on one comment, which I also agree with. In fact, what I most love about Asian pop culture is that it's like a funhouse mirror version of American pop culture -- which leaves Americans completely mute at the sight of it.

The hip hop group in Bullets of Love, a Chinese/Korean movie, is the best specific example I can come up with. I'm not a big music buff, so I'm sure I am missing out on a lot of real Asian groups that are really great.

There is also a badass Polish hip-hop group called Molesta that I came across the other day.

Rap, may be dead. Hip-hop is a growing medium, though, which is as deep as Rza and Portishead's best tracks.
posted by son_of_minya at 8:27 AM on June 6, 2003

mikrophon: I think those slang words are from the British Hip-Hop (or 2 step, they're both quite intermixed) scene.
posted by PenDevil at 8:34 AM on June 6, 2003

OK, I am now officially sick of "fo' shizzle my nizzle."

I haven't been following rap for quite a while (OK, since the heyday of Public Enemy), but the first great political rap song I remember, and still one of my favorites, is "How We Gonna Make the Black Nation Rise?" by Brother D. & Collective Effort (Clappers, 1981, bass line from Cheryl Lynn's "Got To Be Real"); I used to take that 12" to parties, slip it on the turntable, and glory in the sight of (mostly) white people boogying to lines like "While you dibby-dibby-dize and so-socialize,/ How you gonna make the black nation rise?" Cheap fun, I know, but I was young and broke. And can there be a better couplet to sum up U.S. history than:

America was built, you understand,
By stolen labor on stolen land.

posted by languagehat at 8:44 AM on June 6, 2003

Maybe some one can fill in the band name, but this reminds me of the Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, and Dan Ackroid movie about the Judge. Ackroid is this ancient fossil like counrty judge with an 1800's attitude. He forces a hip hop band to play to the bench before passing sentence on their moving violation. Seemingly offended by the music, then he jams in with a pipe organ to the style of Chicago jazz.
posted by xtian at 9:43 AM on June 6, 2003

xtian, it was Digital Underground. The movie was "Nothing but Trouble". Maltin's film guide calls it "stupefying unwatchable," and I agree. Don't go rent it. Really.
posted by trondant at 11:24 AM on June 6, 2003

Ah, the combination of a stiff British judge and black American street culture. See also, the intro to Long John Baldry's "Don't Try To Lay No Boogie Woogie On The King of Rock and Roll": "Erm, this boojie-woojie you were talking about, what is it?" "Well, m'lord, it's a sort of jazz rhythm music, peculiar to the American Negro."
posted by arto at 2:13 PM on June 6, 2003

And the guy bringing the case for breach of copyright had himself named his act after trademarked characters in a Hanna Barbera cartoon...
posted by kerplunk at 2:38 AM on June 7, 2003