The Burt

June 7, 2003 6:02 PM

As reported by Don O'Briant of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Phineas J. Monkey, local celebrity and co-star of Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Stew, was assaulted by Burt Reynolds at a gala for the IMAGE Film and Video Center earlier this week. Mr. Reynolds appears to have been enraged by the puppet's biting wit, so much so that he was compelled to latch violently onto the charming emcee's throat with both hands. I'd like to say this sort of thing is surprising, but alas, it is not. Irrational behavior seems to have become a part of Mr. Reynolds's operating system, a point well illustrated by his dismissal of an agent for landing him his only decent role in 1997 (par 14). To be fair, Boogie Nights was no Meet Wally Sparks.
posted by cachilders (9 comments total)

First, of all if more puppets were strangled america would be a better place. Second of all, ya dont fuck with the Bandit.
posted by jonmc at 6:34 PM on June 7, 2003

further down the entertainment page:

Dixie Chicks ignored

The Dixie Chicks, country radio's most popular act three months ago, remain personas non grata. The trio's fourth single "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)" off the "Home" album is being roundly ignored by most country radio stations. Only seven stations out of 140 played it a dozen or more times last week, according to Mediabase 24/7, a tracking firm.

I wonder how many of the stations are owned by Clear Channel.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 7:16 PM on June 7, 2003

naw, jon, Phineas J. Monkey is pretty cool, as is Uncle Grampa's Hoo-Dilly Stew. Dad's Garage is home of some of the best cheap entertainment in Hotlanta. Most OTHER puppets, though? Kill 'em.
posted by Vidiot at 7:55 PM on June 7, 2003

Dad's Garage is currently featuring Bat Boy: the musical.
posted by mischief at 10:18 PM on June 7, 2003

"I don't know about your last movie," Reynolds said, turning a cold eye toward Daniels. "But the 'Cannonball Run' movies made $100.4 million."

I don't know about YOUR last movie, Mr. Reynolds. What decade was it in, again?

Remind me never to invite Burt to Oscar night at my house.
posted by faceonmars at 3:46 AM on June 8, 2003

I'm not much into Burt, one way or another (though I have to agree that puppet-strangling does seem pretty forgiveable), but thanks for that last link, because I do love me some Philip Seymour Hoffman...
posted by taz at 6:10 AM on June 8, 2003

I know Phineas personally, and from what I've heard, he was on his best behavior that night. It seems that Mr. Reynolds was more peeved by just the simple involvement of a puppet at HIS award ceremony than by anything they said.

But I guess I can understand that... I mean really, when is Burt going to be awarded anything again? This was his last shot, I'm sure.

Hell, Daniels & Phineas didn't even pull out their "Uh oh, better get Maaco" line on him.
posted by BobFrapples at 2:16 PM on June 8, 2003

Am I the only one who confuses Burt Reynolds for Tom Selleck and vice versa all the time?
posted by stavrogin at 3:16 PM on June 8, 2003

Me too, stavrogin.
posted by Vidiot at 6:10 PM on June 8, 2003