The Art of Insult reduced to an algorithm

June 11, 2003 10:53 AM

For the lazy troll in your life: Curses, Flames, Shakespearian Insults and more. Ready to copy/paste into your flamefest of choice.
posted by fjom (9 comments total)

Just when I think, "Surely this person has reached and encapsulates the limits of Internet tedium" you go and push the boundary even further. Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.

If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow the kneecap off a flea. Why is it that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths? Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

If that post was intended as a joke, you forgot to include the punch line. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you didn't have an intellect rivaled only by the Village Idiot's stupider brother; if your weren't so fat that the elephants throw you peanuts at your local Zoo, or if you didn't have a face that people shove in dough to make monster cookies. Who am I kidding? You would.

Anyway, I'm not really good with fools, but a friend who is good with fools wrote something down for me. Oh, yeah, "Shut your cake-hole, stupid!"

...and I mean that in the nicest way possible
posted by ElvisJesus at 11:52 AM on June 11, 2003

ElvisJesus:

Your surname means "One who licks sheep's testicles" in Arabic!
posted by Jughead at 12:11 PM on June 11, 2003

Oh goody! A source of unoriginal discourtesy! "Rude and lazy? Try here!" The saddest part of this is that the insults aren't even all that interesting.
posted by FormlessOne at 1:07 PM on June 11, 2003

Could have used this yesterday...
posted by dg at 4:02 PM on June 11, 2003

For the record, I have never licked Arabic sheep's testicles
posted by ElvisJesus at 4:27 PM on June 11, 2003

I found this a while back but didn't let people know about it..

Why?

Insult should stem from originality - otherwise it doesn't have the same caring and emotion.

::sigh::
posted by Mossy at 5:46 PM on June 11, 2003

I was totally blown away. So...I guess that means this blows ?!
posted by GT_RULES at 6:55 PM on June 11, 2003

Try a *real* Shakespearian insult (fr. "King Lear"):

"The Devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon.
Thou finical, superserviceable rogue, whoreson zed, and one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deny'st the least syllable of thy addition. . . ."
posted by rdone at 7:12 PM on June 11, 2003

This site would be much cooler if it were legible.
posted by moonbiter at 7:54 PM on June 11, 2003