Comments on: Flat Earth Society

Flat Earth Society

magikeye — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:02:21 -0800

THIS OBJECT DOES NOT EXIST
so the world is flat and five-pointed, there is only one Springfield, and there will soon be fake fossils on Mars. and don't let any of these so-called "scientists" tell you something different.

By: Keyser Soze

Keyser Soze — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:26:11 -0800

This is not real.

By: spazzm

spazzm — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:26:16 -0800

And here is an interview with the recently deceased Charles K. Johnson, president of the International Flat Earth Research Society. I'm not sure if this is hilarious, deeply tragic or just a testament to the fact that some people are simply unable to change their minds, no matter what the evidence is.

By: Keyser Soze

Keyser Soze — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:26:58 -0800

Dont mean that in some existential way, im saying that the website is a parody. The people involved do not believe it.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:28:23 -0800

The Springfield idea reminds me of a conclusion that I came to about airports, to wit: commercial air travel is a hoax. All airports are connected by corridors, slidewalks and concourses. You actually walk pretty much the entire distance to your destination. The so-called flying part is just a like an amusement park ride where they show movies of landscapes going by outside the windows while automated systems make a few superficial changes just outside the aircraft door.

By: slipperywhenwet

slipperywhenwet — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:28:39 -0800

The Springfield effect would hold that this hypersurface is not straight, and is in fact very bent. Springfield is a point where it touches itself several times. Thus, at certain angles from Springfield are the contact points with the observable universe, the springfields. At other angles is just empty n- dimensional hyperspace; if one was to enter that, one would fall through space not comprehensible and probably wreck one's nervous system, albeit enjoying a very interesting trip whilst doing so. Well, I'm convinced.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:28:44 -0800

No, no, no, he got it all wrong. There are not only multiple Springfields, but they exist in multiple dimensions. Is there any other way to explain that you've never seen a character from The Simpsons show up on Guiding Light? Now, the city there is only one of is LAKEWOOD. California, Colorado, New Jersey, Ohio, Washington... there is no difference, man! (And anytime places in California and New Jersey can look so much alike, you know that all is not well in the universe...)

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:31:13 -0800

Hail Eris! (fnord)

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:32:08 -0800

I lived in Springfield, MI for half my life and I never noticed a thing. Pity - it would have livened the place up considerably.

By: kozad

kozad — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:45:47 -0800

There are many people and groups claiming a flat earth philosophy (and similarly minded but strangely discordant groups pimping the hollow earth theory), but this site is not one of them. REAL flat earth proponents have no problem with the existence of Idaho.

By: jmd82

jmd82 — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:51:36 -0800

By: Hildago

Hildago — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 20:56:21 -0800

All roads lead to Springfield.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 21:00:30 -0800

...except for those that fall off the edge of the earth.

By: Keyser Soze

Keyser Soze — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 21:04:06 -0800

lie, lie, lie... the full moon is rising over dark water and the fools below are picking up sticks and the man in the gallows lies permanently waiting for the doctors to come back and tend to him, the flat earth society is meeting here today, singing happy little lies and the bright ship humana is sent far away with grave determination... and no destination, lie, lie, lie yeah, nothing feels better than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night, but you'd better believe that down in their quarters the men are holding in for their dear lives, the flat earth society is somewhere far away, with their candlesticks and compasses and the bright ship humana is well on its way with grave determination... and no destination, lie, lie, lie, ad infinitum -Bad Religion, Against The Grain

By: cohappy

cohappy — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 21:07:23 -0800

Guerilla ontology, baby!

By: spazzm

spazzm — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 21:20:37 -0800

There's a whole directory related to flat earth stuff here, including this online book that claims belief in a flat earth was not as widespread in medieval times as we may have been led to believe.

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Sat, 05 Jul 2003 22:07:16 -0800

Gotcher new map right here.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 00:02:45 -0800

Back in college, I went through a contrarian phase (like krinklyfig said, "hail eris"), and I contacted one of the flat earth societies (this one, I think) for some literature. This was pre-widespread-web (late '93), so we're talking SASE... Anyway, the literature they sent me had a pretty disturbing racist bent to it. The whole tower of babel, no miscegenation of the races thing, you know. The incident turned me off to wacky fringe groups for good.

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 00:42:59 -0800

Just a thought: if the "Men In Black" urban legend could end up becoming a series of comic books and over-produced movies, isn't there a serious chance to get a screenplay out of "the Flat Earth Society"? Oh? You say it was already done? And it starred Adam Sandler, so I missed it? Oh.

By: djeo

djeo — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 01:01:06 -0800

Don't let them immanentize the Eschaton! f.n.o.r.d.

By: Ignatius J. Reilly

Ignatius J. Reilly — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 01:30:59 -0800

The Society was founded in 1993 by Lee H? O? Smith, EMF KYTP. Credi-fuckin'-ble!

By: Dillonlikescookies

Dillonlikescookies — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 03:25:21 -0800

"...that claims belief in a flat earth was not as widespread in medieval times as we may have been led to believe." The ancient Greeks and Romans believed the earth was spherical. The idea of the earth being flat only really appeared during the middle ages, and even then was more or less limited to the christians who had a nasty habit of locking up anyone who disagreed with them. (but then I suppose if I took the time to read the link it would have said exactly that in about three times the space)

By: GrahamVM

GrahamVM — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 05:26:39 -0800

Heh.

By: eustacescrubb

eustacescrubb — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 05:40:44 -0800

The ancient Greeks and Romans believed the earth was spherical. The idea of the earth being flat only really appeared during the middle ages, and even then was more or less limited to the christians who had a nasty habit of locking up anyone who disagreed with them. Which is ironic, since the ancient Hebrews also believed the earth was spherical, which is why the prophet Isaiah described Jehovah thusly (in 40:22): "It is he that sitteth upon the globe of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as locusts: he that stretcheth out the heavens as nothing, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in." Them crazy Christians. So busy enforcing the word of God with the sword, they ain't got no time fer reading the word of God...

By: mdn

mdn — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 08:00:39 -0800

the horizon and eclipses pretty much give away the spherical earth, so any culture that traveled by sea or got into astronomy figured out the shape of the planet. The hebrews may or may not have believed the earth was spherical - I've seen that translated as the "circle" of the earth, as in, disc, and there are places that refer to the four corners of the earth and the pillars and other stuff like that - the bible isn't a scientific document. The greeks specifically laid out the shape of the earth (Aristotle says that the southern hemisphere is the "top" because of the direction we spin, eg) as a scientific / philosophical conclusion; it isn't just inferred from passing references using certain words.

By: ook

ook — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 08:02:55 -0800

The Discordians would be so proud of this thread...

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 08:11:08 -0800

I vote joke. From the FAQ: Beneath the Earth, or hanging off the edges, is a land populated by either green-skinned women or Nazis. I went to high school in Springfield, VA, and often visited relatives in Springfield, MO. If they had really been the same place, it would've saved us a lot of two-day drives. The Springfield Effect and George_Spiggott's airport theory are similar to my Bebe Theory. My apartment's above a Bebe store, and my theory is that it's above all Bebe stores. So I should be able to travel to New York by walking out my apartment door onto Third Avenue, but it's not working out so far.

By: solistrato

solistrato — Sun, 06 Jul 2003 22:18:50 -0800

O.M. fnord

By: rich

rich — Mon, 07 Jul 2003 11:15:29 -0800

Whew.. for a second there, I thought someone was actually serious about believing all that stuff. but the FAQs are so tongue in cheek.. I mean "What about Idaho?" Ha! No, really. It's all just some people with too much time on their hands, right? (looks warily around)

By: woil

woil — Mon, 07 Jul 2003 11:19:05 -0800

I grew up in Springfield, OR. The entire town uses these yellow energy saving streetlights that gives the place this quite spooky glow at night. This theory seems to fit in quite nicely.

By: mdn

mdn — Mon, 07 Jul 2003 11:24:56 -0800

Yes, it's clearly a joke (I'm surprised anyone would hesitate to conclude that). A few years ago I remember there being a flat earth page that was more believable - either it was real or it was just trying to actually pass itself as real. I think the guy behind it died, though. I remember some sort of interview with his wife or something... anyone else remember that? aha. here he is. Looks like he was sincere. And he did die, and it doesn't look like anyone took up his battle for him...

By: mdn

mdn — Mon, 07 Jul 2003 11:26:02 -0800

oh my god spazzm, I'm such a dork. sorry.

By: mdn

mdn — Mon, 07 Jul 2003 14:01:02 -0800

In case anyone finds this stuff as interesting as I do, here are some more flat earth links, with examples of their literature etc.