Comments on: Bulwer-Lytton contest results

Bulwer-Lytton contest results

mathowie — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:19:35 -0800

The annual Bulwer-Lytton contest recognizes and awards the very worst opening sentences found in novels. The 2003 results are in (2002 results, 2001 results) and the winning entry begins "They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese..." [via girlhacker]

By: dcodea

dcodea — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:22:08 -0800

This is almost too painful to read. Almost.

By: graventy

graventy — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:31:55 -0800

Sorry, matt, but these weren't found in novels. They were just made up. Wait. I'm not sorry. I'm completely glad that these weren't published in novel form.

By: tweebiscuit

tweebiscuit — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:41:15 -0800

Personally, I'm a fan of Adam Cadre's Lyttle Lytton, which recognizes that brevity is the soul of wit. One of my favorites: "Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating."

By: tweebiscuit

tweebiscuit — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:45:53 -0800

And personally, I found the runner-up far funnier than the winner, which is just a lame joke.

By: beagle

beagle — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:48:46 -0800

As noted by graventy, this is a contest to see how bad an opening you can write, and you don't have to bother with the rest of the novel. I would like to see a contest to find the worst opening of a novel actually published during 2002. Nominations?

By: archimago

archimago — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:51:02 -0800

eeeww, someone from my hometown made that list!

By: widdershins

widdershins — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:57:29 -0800

Normally I find these hilarious, but this year's batch is not quite up to scratch IMHO. Agree w/tweebiscuit - the runner-up is better.

By: pmurray63

pmurray63 — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 11:11:57 -0800

Beagle, last December there was a Literary Review Bad Sex Prize 2002 thread. It's kind of a specialized subset, I know, but it is hilarious. And the entries are from works that were actually published (I agree, that's better than a contest to deliberately write badly.)

By: jacquilynne

jacquilynne — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 11:24:58 -0800

I find the Bulwer-Lytton entrants (or at least winners) to be too much the same thing. Extra long entries containing elaborate metaphors. Surely there are other (preferably shorter) forms of bad writing that might be included.

By: FormlessOne

FormlessOne — Wed, 16 Jul 2003 12:37:37 -0800

I'm just strangely fond of this one: Colonel Cleatus Yorbville had been one seriously bored astronaut for the first few months of his diplomatic mission on the third planet of the Frangelicus XIV system, but all that had changed on the day he'd discovered that his tiny, multipedal and infinitely hospitable alien hosts were not only edible but tasted remarkably like that stuff that's left on the pan after you've made cinnamon buns and burned them a little.

By: Zurishaddai

Zurishaddai — Thu, 17 Jul 2003 11:17:21 -0800

I nominate myself.