i know you are but what am i?

July 18, 2003 11:16 AM

He's Canadian, if you know what I mean: According to Matt Drudge, the White House press office specifically tipped him off to the fact that ABC News reporter Jeffrey Kofman is not only gay, but Canadian. Kofman angered the White House with his recent report on the plummeting morale of US troops in Iraq. What's next, White House interns tp'ing the houses of NYTimes columnists? Slam books? Impeachment?
posted by serafinapekkala (38 comments total)

Best line in the article (OK, gossip item): The new White House Press Secretary has "had a rough first week." Ha!
posted by serafinapekkala at 11:17 AM on July 18, 2003

A recap: Chronology of dispute over Iraq dossier
posted by the fire you left me at 11:18 AM on July 18, 2003

Let me be the first to say that I, for one, am fully in favor of letting Canadians marry.
posted by kgasmart at 11:21 AM on July 18, 2003

This is of course why a Government having lots of information on people, is really, truly, just about protecting national security, and the safety and wellbeing of it's citizens.

It won't misuse information to try to destroy it's political enemies or silence it's critics.

Bring on the ID cards, DNA sampling and round-the-clock video surveillance! Your Government loves you.
posted by Blue Stone at 11:29 AM on July 18, 2003

It seems like lately retailiation is the name of the game in the W administration. The soliders who criticized Rumsfeld and bitched about being in Iraq publically are losing their jobs. Of course, Bush wouldn't want to listen to them, he just wants them fired. And quickly.
posted by aacheson at 11:30 AM on July 18, 2003

From the sublime to the ridiculous...is the administration self-destructing before our very eyes? The Mafia comparisons are starting to seem less and less far-fetched. How much will the public stand before holding these people culpable? And has critical mass finally been reached to trigger the inevitable media feeding frenzy?
posted by rushmc at 11:30 AM on July 18, 2003

Anybody else reminded of teh Newsradio episode where they find out Dave was Canadian and Joe is trying to decide whether or ont that was enough to kick his ass?
posted by Space Coyote at 11:40 AM on July 18, 2003

I, for one, welcome on our new gay Canadian media overlords.

But seriously folks, what is up with the "press office as brute squad" thing?

I mean, Ari was bad enough, he turned dissembling into high art, but this--this is, like, world-class farcical flacking.
posted by jengod at 11:41 AM on July 18, 2003

You know the White House administration is up against the wall when.....

Thanks for posting this, serafinapekkala. I'd been reading a lot of threads about the corruption of the Bush administration and feeling sick, because I have a horrible fear that Dubya's going to get away with it all and even get reelected. But somehow when the power you feared descends to farcial behaviour it's hard to worry much about them.

And I'm, you know, Canadian.
posted by orange swan at 11:55 AM on July 18, 2003

Isn't Drudge, um, Canadian himself? Odd.
posted by anildash at 12:14 PM on July 18, 2003

/aside

When I lived in Tallahassee, FL, aka hell-on-earth, I found out that Canadian (usually said w/a cancer-like intonation) was what the white folks called blacks. Not to their faces, of course, but it was their oh-so-clever way of being able to insult non-whites freely amongst themselves without those stupid Canadians getting all riled up.
posted by widdershins at 12:18 PM on July 18, 2003

Isn't Drudge, um, Canadian himself? Odd.

Gay, too. Not that odd.
posted by norm at 12:19 PM on July 18, 2003

Well it's important information! I mean, all our draft-dodging hippies moved to Canada, some of them speak French Freedomish, and for God's sake, they're butt-fuckers! We can't trust these freaks!

{southpark} Blame Canadaaaaaa, blame Canadaaaa....{/southpark}
posted by zekinskia at 12:21 PM on July 18, 2003

Thanks for the link, aacheson. Good read.
posted by squirrel at 12:27 PM on July 18, 2003

The worst part is they really are playing the 'blame Canada' game.. another case of Onionesque over-the-top stupid ideas creepinginto the real world.
posted by Space Coyote at 12:30 PM on July 18, 2003

Here's a related chuckle.
posted by squirrel at 12:34 PM on July 18, 2003

Drudge is an amazing parody of himself. The archives, in addition to having those annoying blinking ads, also contains this gem of journalism;

Wednesday Jul 16, 2003

22:22:30 PHOTO REVEALED: DEM PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL GRAHAM ARRIVES AT VIRGINIA BLUEGRASS RALLY/FUNDRAISER TODAY -- IN JAGUAR!

I literally have no idea what the hell that is even supposed to mean, let alone how it becomes the lead item on an alleged news site.
posted by dglynn at 12:43 PM on July 18, 2003

Drudge is Canadian and gay?
posted by the fire you left me at 12:44 PM on July 18, 2003

dglynn-- I personally was shocked and amazed to see a politician driving a Jaguar.
posted by xmutex at 12:45 PM on July 18, 2003

My favorite part is that the reporter was apparently confronted by his boss, who looked him straight in the eye and put the question to him: "Are you really Canadian?" "My life is an open book," the grinning reporter replied.

Anecdote taken from Reader's Digest's "Laughter is the Best Medicine," Special Bizarro Edition
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 12:52 PM on July 18, 2003

The Mafia comparisons are starting to seem less and less far-fetched.

For what it's worth, I think the entire clan could and should be prosecuted under the RICO Act. That family is nothing less than an ongoing criminal enterprise. Examples abound for those who care to look.
posted by trondant at 1:11 PM on July 18, 2003

I literally have no idea what the hell that is even supposed to mean, let alone how it becomes the lead item on an alleged news site.

I personally believe that anyone (including politicians) should be free to own or drive any type of car that they choose or can afford. It's just those darned UAW and other union members that are bothered by things like presidential candidates riding in foreign cars.

By the way, isn't Canada just like another state.....you know, like Nebraska?
posted by Durwood at 1:13 PM on July 18, 2003

yes, thanks for the link aacheson, but i'm curious about the details of those "firings." which soldiers were terminated, and for what reasons?

are military officers not allowed to openly criticize their superiors? i wouldn't be surprised, but it does seem a rather restrictive policy.

and isn't Jaguar an American car now? owned by Ford?
posted by mrgrimm at 1:18 PM on July 18, 2003

Examine the photo carefully, xmutex, it's even worse than that. He was actually being driven in a Jaguar.

Yep, that's right, a Democrat chauffeured around in a foreign luxury vehicle.

Of course, the picture just shows Graham standing next to a Jaguar, because he obviously saw photographers, and leapt from the foreign luxury vehicle to avoid being associated with the Jaguar. Another example of a Democrat's inability to be straight with the hard working Americans of the heartland.

This type of behavior, and of course, haircuts, reveal the true nature of these so-called Democrats.
posted by dglynn at 1:20 PM on July 18, 2003

Thugs. Our government is being run by vindictive thugs.
posted by dejah420 at 1:43 PM on July 18, 2003

That family is nothing less than an ongoing criminal enterprise. Examples abound for those who care to look.

*wipes tear, no longer feels so alone*
posted by quonsar at 1:47 PM on July 18, 2003

Right on cue, here's the wife of General Buford Blount, keeping all the other military spouses in line: General's wife: Complaints aid enemy in Iraq.
posted by stonerose at 1:58 PM on July 18, 2003

I don't know what the rules are about disaparaging your superiors in the miliatary-I think it's called insubordination-but I don't know what the punishment for it is.

From the sounds of the article, the ones who went on camera with their names and said bad things are the ones losing their jobs. So much for freedom of the press..I guess the press is free but soldiers aren't free to talk to it.
posted by aacheson at 2:02 PM on July 18, 2003

*wipes tear, no longer feels so alone*

*Hugs Quonsar, grabs Kleenex back, scrubs cheek*

*passes Kleenex back to Drudge*
posted by dash_slot- at 2:05 PM on July 18, 2003

a Democrat chauffeured around in a foreign luxury vehicle

Ford owns Jaguar now. Besides, it's not like he was getting an expensive haircut at a salon with a French name.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 3:56 PM on July 18, 2003

The blame game of the idiocracy. The administration has to get in a few shots to get back the ball. The pressure mounts over finding weapons or an believable explanation.
posted by xtian at 4:11 PM on July 18, 2003

Wait--gay and Canadian? Now I've heard of everything!
posted by kirkaracha at 4:36 PM on July 18, 2003

I don't know what the rules are about disaparaging your superiors in the miliatary-I think it's called insubordination-but I don't know what the punishment for it is.

Rumsfeld not being an actual part of the military, but rather a political figure, makes me think that this wouldn't quite fall under the same thing.

For example, a soldier wouldn't have to salute him, as far as I know. (by the book anyway)

(I'd rather take an order from Bill Clinton than hear that guy's high-pitched, nasally voice again."</small.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:36 PM on July 18, 2003

Rumsfeld and Bush, although civilians, are still part of every soldier's chain of command (and every sailor's, marine's and airman's for that matter). You don't have to salute Rumsfeld, but you do have to obey his orders, and you can get court-martialed if you disparage them in public. It would probably fall under the "general article" of the UCMJ, for conduct "to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces". If you're an officer, it's probably also "conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman" (and yes, that's a crime in the military).

All of which makes me glad that, as a civilian, I can call them both imbeciles with impunity (at least until Patriot Act II is passed).
posted by Zonker at 7:58 PM on July 18, 2003

.
posted by rushmc at 3:56 AM on July 19, 2003

Zekinskia wrote "butt-fuckers." I strenuously object to the use of this term for my gay brothers. "Buttfucking" is so 2002. Now we call it SCOITUS.

I'm not sure just yet what what to call the perpetrators. I'll leave that to quonsar.
posted by divrsional at 9:38 AM on July 19, 2003

buttfucksters?
posted by quonsar at 9:57 AM on July 19, 2003

you guys are asleep on the job! David Frum, author of three little words known as axis of evil is Canadian. A Canadian guy made foreign policy--think of that, for Christ's sake... That ought to buy at least a week's remorseful silence from stavrosthewonderchicken on the topic of all things dubya.
posted by y2karl at 4:59 PM on July 19, 2003