Dead Man Eating

August 2, 2003 6:23 AM

Dead Man Eating is a weblog listing last meals of American prisoners put to death. Often humanizing the prisoners without belittling their crimes, it's a macabre, fascinating read no matter which side of the death penalty debate you're on.
posted by kickerofelves (36 comments total)

Toles requested a last meal of four fried chicken breasts, mashed potatoes and gravy, three Bama pecan pies, two foot-long chili cheese dogs, a small order of chili cheese fries and a two liter cream soda.

You are so right: this is a fascinating weblog, and yes, it is a little macabre.

I like the factoids and other interesting things posted after the details of the execution.

Thanks for the link, kickerofelves. (good name, by the way, but why so mean to the elves?)
posted by ashbury at 6:43 AM on August 2, 2003

And for some raw data for Texas, you can look at their Final Meal Requests page.
posted by gluechunk at 6:54 AM on August 2, 2003

odd that they should be denied cigarettes as a matter of policy. Anyone know why?
posted by Pericles at 7:21 AM on August 2, 2003

Because it's policy.

I guess you've never worked for the government.

And don't you know they're cancerous? :)
posted by ODiV at 7:47 AM on August 2, 2003

Hate to spoil Comments by not agreeing thus far with fellow commentors but I find that the site soon becomes tedious rather than fascinating or even macbre.

I can understand a blog with politics; a blog with babes ( I have one) etc but to focus on this sort of thing makes me wonder about the person who devotes so much energy not merely toward death (there are blogs for that) for this specialized sort of thing. Ah well, as there are different choices for final meals I guess different tastes, too, in blogs.
posted by Postroad at 8:15 AM on August 2, 2003

For his last meal, Gilbert dined on a half-gallon of vanilla ice cream, a box of assorted cones and a box of Whoppers.

ok, that's just sick! he should be executed for that offense alone! jk.

aside: policy or not, i would hope that a cigarette would be allowed. i know if i was in that position, my only request for a last meal would be a good cigarette and maybe a cold beer.

actually Postroad, i find most political blogs extremely tedious and repetitive, just for the sheer number of them.
posted by poopy at 8:19 AM on August 2, 2003

Why not just order a bottle or two of Tequila -- straight, no chasers. By the time you wake up the next day, you'll be happy to be put out of your misery.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:05 AM on August 2, 2003

One bottle of hemlock, hold the glass.
posted by bwg at 9:58 AM on August 2, 2003

I'm surprised none of the inmates have asked for 3-layer cake with a file in it.
posted by LexRockhard at 9:59 AM on August 2, 2003

I read somewhere about an inmate who requested an acorn as his last meal. He apparently swallowed it whole and hoped that a tree would grow from his grave.
posted by bonheur at 10:11 AM on August 2, 2003

One bottle of hemlock, hold the glass.

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said "I drank what?" [.wav]
posted by kirkaracha at 10:12 AM on August 2, 2003

ashbury: dee dee dee dee dee dee dee, kicker of elves...
posted by ifjuly at 10:44 AM on August 2, 2003

(from the blurb on Bryan Toles)

" He did not have the necessary funds to secure the presence of Dr. Jonathan Lipman, a neuropharmacologist, and therefore forfeited what could have been the strongest mitigating factor in his case: voluntary intoxication.

....Dr. Lipman, who interviewed Toles, reviewed his videotaped statements, and studied reports prepared by police investigators and social workers, could have given serious credibility to a defense of voluntary intoxication. After reviewing the case, Dr. Lipman reported that Toles had smoked eight rocks of crack cocaine prior to the murders, and had a blood alcohol level of .596. "

...And this matters how in the final ruling? So I can go get wickedly drunk and kill someone and have that be some kind of mitigating factor at the trial? What?
Voluntary intoxication sounds like crap. Someone please enlighten me, because this appears to be less of an argument against the racist and classist elements of death penalty sentencing and more like an argument for absurd defenses. If this is a legal and acceptable approach, why isn't it used in DWI cases where a murder has taken place? Am I just misunderstanding this (which is entirely possible), or is this bunk?
posted by oflinkey at 11:17 AM on August 2, 2003

oflinkey, you're missing the point: it's not what you do when you commit a crime (or the circumstances behind it), it's what your favorite last meal would be. what's yours?
posted by poopy at 11:52 AM on August 2, 2003

From gluechunk's link:

Six scrambled eggs with shredded cheese, cream gravy, hash browns, pan sausage, orange juice, and milk

Yikes, that's... breakfast.
aa
posted by aws17576 at 12:35 PM on August 2, 2003

worst case i heard was a guy who asked for SpaghettiOs but they got him regular canned spaghetti. as any fan of SpaghettiOs will tell you, that is not the same thing at all! hard to feel bad for a murderer, but i really felt bad for that guy. should have been worth a stay of execution. :>
posted by rswst8 at 12:59 PM on August 2, 2003

damn rswst8, it's like you're reading my mind. it's SpaghettiOs or nothing i tell ya! no, seriously.
posted by poopy at 1:05 PM on August 2, 2003

For Metafilter members on death row, the only choice is: pancakes.
posted by crunchburger at 1:16 PM on August 2, 2003

Wow, I wouldn't know where to start for my last meal. I love so many different kinds of cuisine that I'd probably need 20 courses each of a different cuisine to keep me satisfied... and afterwards, I'd be begging them to put me out of my misery.
posted by gyc at 1:45 PM on August 2, 2003

There's also The Death Row Diner -- basically the same thing.

By the way, rswst8, the man in question was Thomas J. Grasso, who actually used his last words to express his indignation at the state: "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."

Grasso caused a huge controversy in '95 when he admitted from a New York penitentary (where he was serving a life sentence) that he'd killed an elderly woman in Oklahoma in 1990. Grasso then told the OK judge that he wanted to plead guilty and be sentenced to death. It would appear that serving life is harder than just getting it over with. Anyway, they granted him his wish (to his lawyer's chagrin), though in a nice bit of shaeunfreude, the state had the last laugh.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:51 PM on August 2, 2003

This site (and others linked here) have helped tipped me further against the death penalty. I saw pathetic poverty in every one of those meals.
posted by squirrel at 2:58 PM on August 2, 2003

...except the acorn. That was cool.
posted by squirrel at 2:59 PM on August 2, 2003

Pathetic poverty eh?
posted by carfilhiot at 3:42 PM on August 2, 2003

Eh.
posted by squirrel at 3:54 PM on August 2, 2003

Which isn't to say that I don't love most of that food. Like Homer Simpson, I prefer my breakfast either fried or chicken fried. I mean to point out that most of the people we're killing come from backgrounds of poverty, with the implication that the death penalty is not only racist but classist. Double-eh.
posted by squirrel at 3:57 PM on August 2, 2003

Interesting how few vegetarians there are on death row. Not a single soy burger to be found.
posted by crunchland at 5:10 PM on August 2, 2003

Yeah, crunch, I didn't bother to look, but my guess is Jeffrey Dahmer probably didn't order the veggie burrito, either.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:34 PM on August 2, 2003

oflinkey, voluntary intoxication would only have served as a mitigating factor in the sentencing (i.e., no death penalty because there was not true intent to commit the crime). Voluntary intoxication would not be a factor in the determination of guilt because the intent to get drunk, high, etc. usually suffices for the intent element necessary to prove the crime.
posted by ajr at 8:05 PM on August 2, 2003

but my guess is Jeffrey Dahmer probably

As all good convicts know, Dahmer never made it to execution, and therefore had no opportunity to order the fried human. (In a twist of dark irony, he was murdered by a fellow inmate - who refrained from taking a nibble.)
posted by Zoyd Wheeler at 8:33 PM on August 2, 2003

Thank you ajr, and poopy, steamed veggie dumplings anf veggie mu shu from the Ming Teh an Fort Erie, Ontario.
posted by oflinkey at 9:05 PM on August 2, 2003

Interesting - thanks.
posted by plep at 10:41 PM on August 2, 2003

OK, Mefites, suppose you are on Death Row, and tomorrow is your day to walk the Last Mile. What would you order for your last meal?

I have a hard time deciding on a favorite food....I love pizza with the works (including anchovies), but also prime rib...or, having been in prison for many years, would I be craving a Big Montana from Arbys?

Ultimately, I wonder if I could eat anything and keep it down, seems like my stomach would be doing loop-de-loops.
posted by Oriole Adams at 8:17 AM on August 3, 2003

Interesting how few vegetarians there are on death row.

That's because vegetarians are such big wimps!
As a veggie myself I'm allowed to say this

I'm with the poopy, a cold beer and a cigarette and maybe getting to watch the sun go down would be my only request. I mean your about to die, you should be worried about your soul not your stomach!

eh eh!
posted by carfilhiot at 8:32 AM on August 3, 2003

Tucker Karla 777 02/03/1998 Banana, Peach and Garden Salad with Ranch Dressing

I noticed this amidst the coverage of her execution, back then.
posted by Danf at 7:39 AM on August 4, 2003

lots of fried chicken/pizza, not too much in the way of gourmet... you'd think at least one inmate would order foie gras or escargot or something. no klaus von bulows on death row i guess.
posted by jcruelty at 1:48 PM on August 4, 2003

Or perhaps some fava beans and a nice chianti.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:07 PM on August 4, 2003