Gary for Governor!

August 6, 2003 12:55 PM

Gary for Governor! The East Bay Express helped put former child actor/current online advice columnist Gary Coleman on the ballot for the upcoming California gubernatorial recall election. Their extensive coverage includes his platform, compares him to the competition, outlines his appeal to various constituents (including model train enthusiasts), and picks his theme song (and it's not "Short People" or "Tiny Dancer").
posted by kirkaracha (11 comments total)

He is a bonehead, but where does all that lottery money go?
posted by 2sheets at 12:57 PM on August 6, 2003

What you talkin' 'bout, 2sheets?
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 1:00 PM on August 6, 2003

Simple minded, reactionary twit. Why do people with celeb status but no leadership or management experience think that they'd make great politicians?
posted by orange swan at 1:10 PM on August 6, 2003

See the last point in his platform.
posted by 2sheets at 1:11 PM on August 6, 2003

wow. ok, man, this is final straw.

East Bay Express?

You used to be cool, man.

You were all mini-broadsheet and stuff when everybody else was tabloid, and you had the best movie listings, and consistently good feature writing.

And then you fucking sold out to the New Times Craporation, and yeah, even though they told Gina Arnold to shove it, they fucked everything else up. I mean, I can't even tell what movies are playing where anymore, much less at what freaking time. And now this. Gary Coleman? You are trying so hard to be hip it is not even funny. It's like the time my friend's mom pretended to sing along to his Big Black tape in the car.

I'm absolutely not going to read you anymore, ok?
posted by fishfucker at 1:16 PM on August 6, 2003

he promises to jack up the sin taxes till the boozehounds have to make a choice: Tie one on, or pay the rent. "Yeah, raise it as high as possible!" Gary pledges.

The actor has no problem with people who wanna get high, and he thinks the federal government's crackdown on medical marijuana is reactionary social policy.

wha?
posted by mdn at 1:47 PM on August 6, 2003

wha?

Apparently Gary has a problem with drunks, but stoners are AOK!
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:50 PM on August 6, 2003

yeah, what got me was that he calls the pot laws "reactionary social policy" but then wants the government to intervene and force people to stop drinking and smoking. If you're going to have such seemingly contradictory stances, it seems to me you'd better explain exactly why.

My guess is that he's just looking for things that he could change that would magically "fix everything" and that if alcohol were prohibited and potheads were out on the corners every night, he'd be advocating the exact opposite position, giving no thought to the actual dynamics or connotations of the positions.
posted by mdn at 2:14 PM on August 6, 2003

Anyone else beginning to think that the Republicans/Issa may rue the day they forced a recall election?
posted by tittergrrl at 2:29 PM on August 6, 2003

dear god - the phone sex. Listen to the phone sex.
posted by PrinceValium at 3:42 PM on August 6, 2003

Let's just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy.
posted by UKnowForKids at 7:57 PM on August 6, 2003