August 19, 2003

7:44 AM

Who Wants To Marry My Daughter?Mom will interview suitors for her 22-year-old (who's also the mom of a 4-year-old), a la the NBC "reality" show. Mom's already booked some dates and a getaway weekend for the winner. Seriously. Must have "a steady job, a love of children, strong morals, and no criminal baggage." Livestock brideprice optional.
posted by serafinapekkala (30 comments total)

This whole thing is bizarre, but here's the kicker:

The man they choose will accompany [the daughter] on a weekend getaway at an International Inn "Cuddle and Bubble" hotel on Cape Cod, where their room will include a Jacuzzi built for two.

Asked whether that may be rushing things a bit, [Mom] said that on this count she has complete faith in her daughter's judgment.

right...the jugment of a teenaged single mom who you don't even trust to get a date. sheesh.
posted by serafinapekkala at 7:48 AM on August 19, 2003

I'm 32 so that's me out of it.

*wipes brow*
posted by Frasermoo at 7:56 AM on August 19, 2003

I hope my mother doesn't hear about this. I wouldn't want her getting any ideas.
posted by orange swan at 7:58 AM on August 19, 2003

"getaway" weekend--heh.
posted by goethean at 8:08 AM on August 19, 2003

So, she copied the idea of a TV show that is a spin off from a reality TV show.....

Is is this reality imitating 'reality' or vice versa? Or neither? Or both?

I get so confused.....
posted by davehat at 8:08 AM on August 19, 2003

"Domineering Mom who likes to get all in her daughter's business seeks man who wants to stand in my front yard and audition for a date with a 22 year-old girl who has a 4 year old child, and tended to date losers in the past. All men with premonitions about my daugher having poor self-esteem and lack of good judgement need not apply. Winner will get to have sex with her in a jacuzzi while my husband and I stand around and give instructions. Good sense of morality a plus."
posted by bradth27 at 8:08 AM on August 19, 2003

Apparantly, Devlin is also signed on to appear on ''The Sharon Osbourne Show.'' [via ObscureStore]

I'm enjoying the fact that this highly planned out, media-hyped husband-hunt is liberally using the term "soulmates."
posted by tpl1212 at 8:13 AM on August 19, 2003

I'll marry her and have children with her on condition that her firstborn be slain.

Hey, don't get judgemental on me. We all have to have standards.
posted by wobh at 8:15 AM on August 19, 2003

bradth27 - lol...

"Me: 27 yo SWM seeking limelight and media-swarm, relationship secondary. Knows how to cook and choose his words wisely when being interviewed by a parent. You: non-smoker with strong television 'ins,' preferably with CNN and/or 'The Today Show.' Must be able to arrange local and/or national newspaper interviews on a weekly or bi-weekly schedule. Those not willing to admit we are soulmates need not apply."
posted by tpl1212 at 8:21 AM on August 19, 2003

Devlin, who has a 4-year-old daughter, Karah, quickly warmed to the idea, though. She readily admits she has had poor luck with men while her mother has found two loving soulmates (Devlin's father is deceased.)

Excuse me? What, was the first "soulmate" (you know, one person in the universe meant for you and all that crap) a fucking pet or something? "Mommy! My soulmate died!" "Oh, well we'll have to go get you another one, won't we?"
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:27 AM on August 19, 2003

Not only do all rooms at the Cuddle and Bubble have a Jacuzzi for two, it also appears that there is a requirement to lay on the bed in a tie which would probably eliminate all takers and also to get drunk in a Jacuzzi with way to many bubbles. Yep if I was on the east coast this is where I'd be for the upcoming holiday weekend. Oh and by the way an AM/FM clock radio in every room.
posted by mss at 8:30 AM on August 19, 2003

Anyone got a picture of the girl in question?
posted by ph00dz at 8:39 AM on August 19, 2003

> All men with premonitions about my daugher having poor
> self-esteem and lack of good judgement need not apply.

The livestock bride-price should help with with the self-esteem. I wish I could be sure I was worth five camels.
posted by jfuller at 8:41 AM on August 19, 2003

mss - classic

a tremendous Monte Carlo 5ft. x 7ft. sunken jacuzzi on a 12 foot mirrored platform surrounded with Roman columns

..and who says Americans lack taste.

LOL
posted by Frasermoo at 8:44 AM on August 19, 2003

The Marriage Survival Suites can be reserved on-line.
The Inn, bills itself for surviving a marriage, not starting one.

Is this reality imitating 'reality' or vice versa? Or neither? Or both?
Not sure which is imitating what, as seeking a suitor for marriage is an old custom. Plus this is like the fun spirited neighbors whom put on a drama act each summer yet this is marriage circus.
posted by thomcatspike at 8:48 AM on August 19, 2003

Pictures are here. (Thanks, Fark!) Cute.
posted by Wood at 8:50 AM on August 19, 2003

Excuse me? What, was the first "soulmate" (you know, one person in the universe meant for you and all that crap) a fucking pet or something? "Mommy! My soulmate died!" "Oh, well we'll have to go get you another one, won't we?"

Schizophrenia, perhaps.
posted by bradth27 at 8:53 AM on August 19, 2003

I love how "Marry" is in quotes.
posted by jalexei at 8:54 AM on August 19, 2003

Thanks for the picture, Wood...I think they'd better specify that the daughter in question is the taller of the two, no? Also note that the sign has "marry" in quotes...what, are they afraid to put "have hottub love with" on there?
posted by serafinapekkala at 8:55 AM on August 19, 2003

From the back of the room shouts of the obligatory and proverbial "I'd hit it!" are heard amongst the din of keyboard clatter.
posted by shoepal at 9:02 AM on August 19, 2003

I would hit it!

Except for the quotation marks around "Marry". That drives me up a wall.
posted by goethean at 9:15 AM on August 19, 2003

Sweet! She likes water sports!
posted by vito90 at 9:20 AM on August 19, 2003

No surprise that she's attractive - otherwise she wouldn't have gotten a reality show. Great looking and bizarre rates a reality show. The ugly and bizarre go on talk shows.
posted by orange swan at 9:26 AM on August 19, 2003

Yeah and yet there were about ten guys total in the folding chairs on the front lawn. Must be the only neighborhood in Mass. where home prices are dropping.
posted by yerfatma at 9:31 AM on August 19, 2003

Damn, if i'd known about this earlier, i'd probably be out there too. Desperate women who look like that are pretty hard to find around here.
posted by schlaager at 9:44 AM on August 19, 2003

Great looking and bizarre rates a reality show. The ugly and bizarre go on talk shows.

Notice with the attractive ones, a money connection as in, around or have it. So the reality they seek is fame, cover of People's magazine; don't think you can purchase that yet. Her picture posted here looked better than the tv news interview I saw.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:23 PM on August 19, 2003

I'd "marry" it.
posted by dhartung at 12:52 PM on August 19, 2003

she's cute, but she's tiny - 4'11 & 90lbs. And that notice (addressed "Hello Men") was hilarious and depressing... it really looked like the work of a 6th grader, with all those exclamation points and grammatical errors - and the generally swirly lettering.

people are weird. sometimes that's all I can say.
posted by mdn at 1:19 PM on August 19, 2003

Well...at least you know she puts out.
posted by TeamBilly at 4:11 PM on August 19, 2003

This idea is nothing original. Indian families have been running a reality show like this in their own lives for centuries. Jews too, sometimes.
posted by wackybrit at 5:52 AM on August 20, 2003