Eat, drink, and be merry! For..........

August 20, 2003 7:08 AM

Dire Gnosis " In 1999, I started circulating a booklet called Beyond 2012, listing  information, theories and ideas from diverse sources which predict 2012 as an evolutionary pinnacle; a leap in consciousness; a dimensional shift; an end of linear time; an encounter with an asteroid; mass genetic mutation from solar or cosmic rays; etc. The ideas come from scientists, artists, mystics, alternative Egyptologists, prophets, divinatory systems, shamanic psychonauts, mythology, and Mesoamerican research.....some of it originated before the Mayan Long Count was known about, outside archaeological circles. For example, the McKenna brothers, who found a complex fractal "timewave" encoded in the ancient Chinese I Ching oracle, discovered its 2012-termination point several years before they heard anything about the Mayan Long Count."

Drugs, aliens, spiritualism, impending world catastrophe. If it's New Agey and weird, it's here: A Rosetta Stone for New Age catastrophism! Don't miss: What's New #1, What's New #2, What's New #3, #4, #5.... WARNING! - blue/green/purple/red/yellow text on a black background with a picture of a man staring upwards, lightning shooting into his eyes, with a "ZZzzzap" sound file to hammer the point across. (safe for work, I guess)
posted by troutfishing (22 comments total)

The author is a regular contributor to the salvia divinorum magazine. Explains a lot. At least old fashioned acidheads knew how to layout a webpage.
posted by grahamwell at 7:31 AM on August 20, 2003

The introduction comes out at 58% good, 42% evil when you rate it for the watermark of God on the gematriculator, which "considers the mathematical patterns in the text of the Holy Bible as God's watermark of authenticity. Thus, the Gematriculator provides only results that are absolutely correct."

So there.
posted by Pericles at 8:07 AM on August 20, 2003

New Jerusalem Cube = Time Cube?
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:12 AM on August 20, 2003

I had to read it twice before I began to understand it, after becoming more acquainted with advanced neurochemistry.

I've been acquainted with advanced neurochemistry too, and my personal acquaintance has informed me that the only difference between today and 2012 is that guys will be wearing less and sleeping with me more.

Also, Frankie Muniz will just vanish from our perception. Like he never existed.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:32 AM on August 20, 2003

Wow, New Age and Eschatology, two great tastes that taste great together. It's too bad that Christian apocalyptic beliefs get the spotlight so often, this stuff is a lot funnier. Thanks troutf.
posted by MrBaliHai at 8:41 AM on August 20, 2003

Also, Frankie Muniz will just vanish from our perception. Like he never existed.


A light! A light at the end of the tunnel!
posted by thanotopsis at 9:04 AM on August 20, 2003

New Jerusalem Cube = Time Cube?

I love the Time Cube! It's the best thing on the internet.

"You are all educated stupid!"

sigh I get all misty-eyed just thinking about it...
posted by jdroth at 9:16 AM on August 20, 2003

Also, Frankie Muniz will just vanish from our perception. Like he never existed.

In my Reality, he doesn't exist now...
posted by JollyWanker at 9:19 AM on August 20, 2003

I confess I can't really read all of it right now. Anyone found something particularly interesting? It lost me when it started mentioning X-Files episodes as evidence of the upcoming 2012 events.
posted by 111 at 9:24 AM on August 20, 2003

I want to be amused, but then I read the bullshit pretend Egyptology and want to hurl.

Party at my place on January 1, 2013!
posted by Foosnark at 9:37 AM on August 20, 2003

For those tha never saw this old school collective: 2013

it leads to a lot of interesting stuff in this same regard
posted by mikhail at 10:16 AM on August 20, 2003

This will explain everything.

Must have slack!
posted by damnitkage at 10:25 AM on August 20, 2003

The gematriculator ranks my personal homepage as 76% evil. Damn.

It ranks MetaFilter's front page, as of this posting, at 58% good, though.

I can't get it to rank this thread, though. It must be far, far too evil!
posted by five fresh fish at 11:36 AM on August 20, 2003

In my Reality, he doesn't exist now...

Yes, but Shia LeBeouf is the President.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:08 PM on August 20, 2003

http://blort.meepzorp.com is 51% evil, 49% good.
posted by quonsar at 3:38 PM on August 20, 2003

How disappointing!
posted by five fresh fish at 4:56 PM on August 20, 2003

All my ex-employers' websites rank at 70% evil or higher.

Also, the word 'business' translates, according to the Genaframpilantinatorthingie, to 666.
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:05 PM on August 20, 2003

The rest of Genafram's site is worth exploring. :-)
posted by five fresh fish at 7:41 PM on August 20, 2003

It's too bad that Christian apocalyptic beliefs get the spotlight so often

Well, the Mayan-calendar kooks aren't the ones occupying the White House at the moment...
posted by staggernation at 8:05 PM on August 20, 2003

How disappointing!

Not so. A majority of shareholders are evil, so what they vote goes. It's only as evil as it needs to be.
posted by trondant at 8:31 PM on August 20, 2003

*sound of finger snap* Damn, somebody beat me to a Mayan-calendar reference.
posted by alumshubby at 11:33 PM on August 20, 2003

alumshubby - well, I'd say it's still fair game, but maybe a la Plep, as I grabbed the sensationalistic angle. Or you could just cover Graham Hancock's oeuvre. That would showcase the Mayan "long count" calendar too.
posted by troutfishing at 6:59 AM on August 21, 2003