Obligatory Onion Link

August 27, 2003 10:41 PM

This is just too funny. Check it out.The Onion is soooooo good!!!!
posted by crasspastor (29 comments total)

Another fine institution to be written off as a bunch of capitalist pigs.
posted by mischief at 11:02 PM on August 27, 2003

"When the online advertising collapse drove other ad-supported content sites into oblivion (remember Word.com or NBCi?) or forced them to experiment with subscriptions and premium pricing (à la Salon and TheStreet.com), the Onion managed to stick to its original business model and weather the tough times."

HAHAHAHA! Obviously business 2.0 can't!
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:16 AM on August 28, 2003

"And while the website's weekly review of the news will remain free, a premium subscription service is in the works to give die-hard readers an extra helping of Onion humor."

Fuck.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:23 AM on August 28, 2003

Hey, why did someone delete the post that showed the backdoor to the website? Might as well delete the entire post. Heck, Ill give it out too.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:27 AM on August 28, 2003

Whilst I still enjoy The Onion and read it every week, I do find the advertising on the site getting pretty annoying. There's the splash screen advertising some crappy US film I'll never see which then redirects to the front page and that bloody VW ad where the car falls down through the text. Hilarious.

There aren't many websites where I'd put with that, but it won't be forever. And if I stop reading the website, then I'll stop buying the books....
posted by jontyjago at 12:42 AM on August 28, 2003

... my point exactly. There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who put up with online advertising, and those who don't. Im willing to bet a majority of the people who put up with it are republican, but ill get to that later. The people who don't put up with it make up a far greater majority than the people who don't. I understand that money is what makes the internet function, but there is a limit. Thought I was going to stop there? Imagine if Metafilter was pop up supported. It would dutifully suck. I might keep going, but after a while my opinion of the intellect and understanding behind the blue wall would be reduced exponentionally to the amount of pop ups I would experience. The onion (or any other website) is no different.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:50 AM on August 28, 2003

"The people who don't put up with it make up a far greater majority than the people who don't."

Substitute the last Don't for a do. Now I will let another person have a chance to post.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:58 AM on August 28, 2003

Keyser, I replaced the original article link with the hacked freebie link, so it's cool.
posted by mathowie at 1:01 AM on August 28, 2003

Profitable? I guess

Too bad the Onion hasn't been funny in like 2 years
posted by delmoi at 1:29 AM on August 28, 2003

I enjoyed the onion a few years back when I first read it, but no vegetable remains fresh forever. Tis the way of the world.
posted by Frasermoo at 1:34 AM on August 28, 2003

Delmoi - I still find it funny. It's US-centric but I can cope with that. There are plenty of sites I used to read religiously 2 years ago that I've lost interest in now, but with the Onion I keep coming back for more. Until the adverts finally get to me of course...
posted by jontyjago at 1:35 AM on August 28, 2003

Those who put up with online advertising, and those who don't. Im willing to bet a majority of the people who put up with it are republican, but ill get to that later.

That is by far one of the strangest, least-supported, and, might I say, stupidest things I've read in some time, but I have to commend you for claiming you'd get to it later and then--perhaps after realizing there was no way of supporting it--neglecting to do so.
posted by The God Complex at 2:00 AM on August 28, 2003

delmoi: I've switched, for the most part, to The Framley Examiner for my parody newspaper needs.
posted by sklero at 4:47 AM on August 28, 2003

heh, God took the bait...
posted by pekar wood at 4:56 AM on August 28, 2003

Metafilter: God took the bait
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 5:41 AM on August 28, 2003

gagpipe is a good site which collects headlines from all the parody type websites - good stuff.
posted by kev23f at 5:43 AM on August 28, 2003

Too bad the Onion hasn't been funny in like 2 years

that's weird, I've found it funny on several occasions in the past two years. why do you suppose that is?
posted by mcsweetie at 5:46 AM on August 28, 2003

Too bad the Onion hasn't been funny in like 2 years

that's weird, I've found it funny on several occasions in the past two years. why do you suppose that is?

LOWER THE THUNDERDOME!
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:31 AM on August 28, 2003

Oh, and seriously now: this just struck me re: the mention of an "Onion Premium" service in the works. I don't see it happening.

The only thing the Onion could offer re: additional content would be either web media (such as video clips, etc.) or additional articles, a la Salon Premium. With Salon, the teaser is the headline and first paragraph of the article. Seeing as how half of the Onion's readership scan the headlines, chuckle, and move on, why should they bother to pay for the portion of the content they care about the least?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:35 AM on August 28, 2003

I think the Onion blew its wad after 9/11. Their edition two weeks after was hilarious, and I went on to read an article in which they likened their approach before the event to "prog rock" and afterwards as "1-2-3-4", as their focus became sharper.

Too bad it isn't funny anymore, though.
posted by jon_kill at 6:53 AM on August 28, 2003

Exquizapher: interesting point. The onion always struck me as a little schizophrenic in the excellence of their headlines, against the crushing mediocrity of the actual article text (columnists excepted -- talkin' to you, Smoove B). I think the A/V club might be a premium content candidate -- there's great stuff in there I might pay for.

OT: "Blew its wad" -- does anyone know the etymology of this phrase, because occasionally I use it in front of co-workers or parents, and I justify by telling myself it's a Vegas-style gambling phrase, but I'm always nervous that people are taking it as a porn allusion, which of course would be inappropriate in these contexts.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:17 AM on August 28, 2003

It's true, the Onion is more mainstream these days, but that's okay. They do good works. I think it's better to get a little subversion out to a lot of people than a lot of subversion out to only a few people.

The stuff they write these days is really tame compared to what they did before the web site launched, though. Oh, how I wish I had saved the big stack of early-90's Onions that I used to have.

Favorite oldies: the Onionpolitan issue ("Are you skinny enough? The answer, no, on page 62") the cover story about beer ("Beer! It kicks ass! Beer! Woo! Gimme some more beer!") and "Dinosaurs are Hiding".

Sigh. Funny stuff. I wonder if they will ever release back issues.
posted by dammitjim at 7:34 AM on August 28, 2003

I'd have to agree on the "dunno 'bout the premium service" thing. Yeah, the AV Club might be worth it, but I doubt I'd truly consider paying for it. (Of course, this may have to do with the fact that I've lived, for the most part, in locales that have allowed me to pick up the print edition for free for most of the past 15 years. Paying for it would just feel wrong somehow.)

All that said, it's been amazing to see how they've survived & changed over the years. And as much as I sometimes want to say something like "G*ddamn motherf*ckers sold out. They used to be funny five or ten years ago -- or before 9/11, or before they moved to New York -- the fact is that they're pretty much still the way they always were: usually funny, occasionally spectacular, and often really stupid and sophomoric. The only thing I truly hate is when they reprint articles that I remember reading 8 or 9 years ago & pass it off as part of a "new" issue, rather than a "best of."

Whew! Kinda feels good to get all that off my chest. Very well, then. Carry on.
posted by *burp* at 7:36 AM on August 28, 2003

From the OED, definition 1.4 of 'wad':

4 a A plug of tow, cloth, etc., a disk of felt or cardboard, to retain the powder and shot in position in charging a gun or cartridge.

b In fig. phr. to shoot one's wad, to do all that one can do. Cf. to have shot one's bolt s.v. shoot v. 21 b. colloq. (chiefly U.S.).

1914 Dialect Notes IV. 112 Shoot one's wad, to do or say what one can. 1970 A. Cameron et al. Computers & O.E. Concordances 31 Well, I'm really not an expert on it. I've practically shot my wad. 1971 B. Malamud Tenants 8, I want to be thought of as a going concern, not a freak who had published a good first novel and shot his wad.

posted by Slithy_Tove at 7:37 AM on August 28, 2003

OK, slithy -- shot my wad -- meaning shot not only the bullet but the wad loaded in the barrel to hold the charge, as a metaphor for doing all that one can. That makes sense. Maybe I'm the only person seeing the porn connection, wouldn't be the first time.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:03 AM on August 28, 2003

Actually, no, you're far from the only one. If you google shoot.one's.wad, you will get a lot of references to the phrase as meaning male ejaculation. I suspect this is a folk etymology, though, that the original meaning is as the OED says, a reference to firearms.

But words mean what people think they mean. If the average guy thinks it means ejaculation, then that's what it means, no matter what its true origin. Sort of like *cough* 'niggardly'. It's a reckless man who uses that word, despire its entirely innocent origins.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 8:19 AM on August 28, 2003

Bystanders were surprised by the unusual amounts of blood...
posted by me3dia at 8:34 AM on August 28, 2003

I didn't know there was a non-porn etymology for wad shooting.
posted by gottabefunky at 8:46 AM on August 28, 2003

I think the Onion blew its wad after 9/11. Their edition two weeks after was hilarious

That's true. I feel bad writing it, but their 9.11 edition was much needed at the time.
posted by Sijeka at 10:29 AM on August 28, 2003