Paul is Dead (McCartney Conspiracy theory)

August 28, 2003 12:42 PM

If you happen to have a lot of time this afternoon and feel like revisiting an old music conspiracy chestnut, this is the most comprehensive page on Paul Is Dead that I have ever seen (link via Bifurcated Rivets).
posted by oflinkey (24 comments total)

Yay! These are a few of my favourite memes. Internet at it's best.
The closing argument for me has always been: Wings were crap.
posted by asok at 12:47 PM on August 28, 2003

[mumbling Lennon] b'lieve it! [/mumbling Lennon]
posted by scody at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2003

Turn me on, dead man.


Heh. I remember I once read a review of Allan Sherman's "Pop Hates The Beatles," that ended with the phrase, "Paul McCartney got a bigger obituary than Allan Sherman, without dying."
posted by jonmc at 12:52 PM on August 28, 2003

My favorite part of the site is the very beginning where the site author posits himself as a reasonably credible imposter for young Paul. I think that is quite telling...
posted by oflinkey at 1:00 PM on August 28, 2003

Just this weekend I passed a new Beetle with the vanity plate "28-IF" and had to explain it to my wife when she heard me chuckling.
posted by jalexei at 1:14 PM on August 28, 2003

The pop-up-detector detector on the message board looks to be a harbinger of annoyances to come. "Please disable your pop-up blocker or you will have to dismiss this warning on every freaking page." I didn't disable it (Firebird) and got a regular pop-up in addition to the warning dialogue. Double fun!
posted by cairnish at 1:15 PM on August 28, 2003

This just totally blew my mind.

jalexei: I don't get it.
posted by Quartermass at 1:15 PM on August 28, 2003

No offense, but how can you call this "the most comprehensive" when the "album clues" section isn't even built yet? Somehow I doubt this author will be able to convey the information with the same wonderful attitude as does this page.

On preview, Quartermass, if you're serious, my link will help.
posted by soyjoy at 1:20 PM on August 28, 2003

Oh, duh. Never mind.

Check this out for a more succinct argument.
posted by Quartermass at 1:20 PM on August 28, 2003

I had always thought that Paul died during the filming of Help! and had to be replaced with a computer generated Paul, ala The Crow.

also, apparently there's a band called 28IF and they look and sound like total nards.
posted by mcsweetie at 1:22 PM on August 28, 2003

The cover to Macca's live album (helpfully) titled "Paul is Live", featured him walking a dog across Abbey Road, with a Beetle in the background with the plate "51 IS".
posted by John Shaft at 1:24 PM on August 28, 2003

I remember a tabloid article, several several years back, where Linda was supposedly furious at Paul because she caught him eating a steak somewhere.

Which, of course, led me to believe that Paul didn't die, he just was in a severe car crash, and was horribly scarred. It was only recently, with innovations in plastic surgery, that he was able to resemble the man his impostor had become. He came back into the world, sat down at a restaurant, ordered a steak, and didn't know what the impostor had done over the years...
posted by Katemonkey at 1:24 PM on August 28, 2003

I thought Ferris was the walrus.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:33 PM on August 28, 2003

Fun stuff. I got into the Beatles in high school during a "Paul is Dead" revival in the early 80s. I used the same scientific methodology to prove that Ringo and George had also died and been replaced.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:41 PM on August 28, 2003

derail

Bob Dylan just rented Love Sick to Victoria's Secret for a commercial.

That was rather craven, imho....

/derail
posted by y2karl at 1:53 PM on August 28, 2003

mcsweetie: is a nard a retarded nerd?
posted by gottabefunky at 2:19 PM on August 28, 2003

mcsweetie, you're right, 28IF are nardtacular.
posted by ghastlyfop at 2:52 PM on August 28, 2003

If only Paul was dead, rather than John.
posted by influx at 2:57 PM on August 28, 2003

Quartermass: I'm using the new google toolbar with the popup blocker and had no troubles whatsoever. it seems to work well.
posted by o2b at 3:12 PM on August 28, 2003

I like the last line of "the 60IF document". Almost as an afterthought, it's the only reference to Yoko Ono and has very little to do with the rest of the page:

Yoko Ono is a spy of the foreign office. She was part of John Lennon's assassination.
posted by originalname37 at 3:19 PM on August 28, 2003

SoyJoy- I said it was the most comprehensive page I had ever seen. I had never seen your link.
posted by oflinkey at 7:57 PM on August 28, 2003

Ferris could have been the Walrus, but he still would have had to bum rides off of people...
posted by bwg at 9:38 PM on August 28, 2003

What's got 3 legs and lives on a farm?

Mr and Mrs McCartney.
posted by Pericles at 1:58 AM on August 29, 2003

mcsweetie: is a nard a retarded nerd?

ok I've given it a lot of thought and I've come up with a good way to distinguish a "nerd" from a "nard."

first off, lets define exactly what a "nerd" is. I say a nerd is any person who is geeky, and yet has a bit of an attitude about them. like imagine the first time someone on the internet gave you lip for using a microsoft product, or that kid in high school who always wore a heavy coat and sunglasses and looked hard even though he had a lift'n'shave parted down the middle. (take note however: it's possible to be geeky but not a nerd!)

nerds typically have an "I'm Into Computers" beard (exhibits A B C and D) and the younger set will typically change pitch mid-sentence when saying a cuss word. younger nerds are also either now or were at one time huge south park fans.

so what, you ask, distinguishs nerds from nards? well nerds, for all their tastelessness and cluelessness, are indeed smart guys, and may in fact be interesting guys. nards however, are neither smart nor interesting.

you can use the nerd/nard heirarchy to discover why 28IF will never play anything bigger than a Durty Nellies or a Harley-Davidson dealership. lets run down the checklist. geeky? you bet. hard lookin' sunglasses? check. attitude? oh, laws yes! so we can firmly say that these guys are nerds. but it's entirely possible to be nerds and still be successful (see: linkin park). what could be holding these guys back? lets check the bio (emphasis mine)...

28if, Chicago's newest high energy, rock n' roll sensation, has exploded on to the scene, taking over the world, audience by audience, starting with the Chicagoland area. They are turning the local music scene on its ear with hook infested power pop, rock and roll.

[...]

The story of 28if has only just begun. Their success is inevitable. It isn't a question of if; it is a question of when. Soon they will be coming to your town to convert your family and friends. Don't be afraid to jump on the bandwagon.

jaysus christ, how they can put something that cheezy on the web and not blush everytime they run internet explorer? one glance at these guys will tell you they know NOTHING about rock'n'roll. they seem to have taken all their music clips down, but from what I've listened to I can tell you I came up with better chord progressions back before I even knew what a chord was. these boys are nards.

so no, 28if will never play any venue that isn't sponsored by an oldies station and never have a fan younger than they are. not even shallow patriotism will save them from obscurity.

but why am I so harsh on these guys? well, I really like the beatles and even though their name is a beatles reference and they list the beatles as something they like on their links page (along with Pepsi and Marlboro), I'd be genuinely surprised if they've even listened to Abbey Road. change your name, or quit making music! it's that simple, you nards!
posted by mcsweetie at 1:59 PM on August 29, 2003