BIG FUN
August 28, 2003 9:48 PM   Subscribe

Pictures of Fat Kid eating 16 Patty In-n-Out cheeseburger. Notice how he orders a Small Coke. A diet coke, I presume. And here's some pictures of burgers having sex. And since it's grammatically related and I didn't want to make another post, here's some pictures of AT-ST Scout Walkers having sex.
posted by Stan Chin (129 comments total)
 
I love cheeseburgers as much as the next guy. Unless this kid or George Foreman is the next guy.

Holy shit.

I mean, just go tip a cow and start gnawing on a haunch, already. That's just revolting.

Oh, and your third link is a double post.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:53 PM on August 28, 2003


Bah, 2 out 3 ain't bad.
posted by Stan Chin at 9:56 PM on August 28, 2003


I have seen so many things on the internet that I rarely gasp in revulsion anymore.

Then I saw that cheeseburger.
posted by spartacusroosevelt at 9:58 PM on August 28, 2003


The ugly side of the Atkin's diet.
posted by skallas at 9:59 PM on August 28, 2003


Beefcake!

/Cartman
posted by fatbobsmith at 10:09 PM on August 28, 2003


Wow, that almost needs a NSFW tag....that's nasty. And stan...you're a bit of an odd duck, you are...ya big food pr0n purveyor!
posted by dejah420 at 10:20 PM on August 28, 2003


P.E.T.A. should stage a sit-in.

In his stomach.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:24 PM on August 28, 2003


The comments are the best part, especially how he didn't delete any of them. %)
posted by kindall at 10:36 PM on August 28, 2003


BEEF: It's what's for dinner!

Damn, now I'm gettin' hungry...
posted by davidmsc at 10:46 PM on August 28, 2003


This child is not at his scientifically-determined ideal weight. I didn't notice at first, but the comments tipped me off.
posted by Ljubljana at 10:50 PM on August 28, 2003


The ugly side of the Atkin's diet.

Nah, that'd be without the buns or chips.

Ick.

I thought I was a sick man for eating a Wendy's Classic Tripple.
posted by sycophant at 10:56 PM on August 28, 2003


god bless america.......
posted by photoslob at 11:11 PM on August 28, 2003


How dare that kid let that tomato slice go to waste!
posted by wobh at 11:19 PM on August 28, 2003


Why are some (one?) of the commenters so angry? I seriously don't understand that.
posted by willnot at 11:43 PM on August 28, 2003


In and Out Burger, right? Well that definitely depicts the IN... let's hope no one photographed the OUT.

What?!? What goes IN must come OUT, right? Its science!
posted by nyukid at 11:49 PM on August 28, 2003


The out couldn't possibly look worse than the in.
posted by pemulis at 11:53 PM on August 28, 2003


That cheeseburger, wow ... this is like the greatest post I've seen in weeks.
posted by bobo123 at 12:18 AM on August 29, 2003


nyukid I was just thinking that - In and Out burger - hmmmmm.....

ewwwww

I think this kids metafilter name might be elviscolon
posted by RubberHen at 1:02 AM on August 29, 2003


I love this. I once came second in an eating contest to a dude who weighed 130lbs more than me. I ate 13 cheeseburgers in 45 minutes, take the buns away and much them together and I could have been an Internet celebrity. Wow :)
posted by Space Coyote at 1:03 AM on August 29, 2003


Oh c'mon, what's the beef, yo ?
posted by Sijeka at 1:03 AM on August 29, 2003


So who's gonna remix it with some techno music and Star Wars sfx?
posted by arto at 1:16 AM on August 29, 2003


God, and I had a hard time when ordering a 4x4 at In'n'Out.

Big Ed Burritos, though, watch out.

Boy, there are two things I miss, having moved from California to the midwest: In'n'Out and The Green Burrito.
posted by atholbrose at 1:21 AM on August 29, 2003


Actually, that's a 20 patty burger. Take a closer look at the receipt: It has 16 extra patties and a 4x4.

Nauseous yet?
posted by majick at 2:15 AM on August 29, 2003


Nauseous yet?

No.
posted by Space Coyote at 2:41 AM on August 29, 2003


/insert snarky comment about how Americans are fat pigs...
posted by salmacis at 2:47 AM on August 29, 2003


Absolutely disgusting.
posted by a3matrix at 2:57 AM on August 29, 2003


That photo has permanently turned me off my itty bitty double cheeseburgers. *feels ill*
posted by dabitch at 3:15 AM on August 29, 2003


I looked at those pictures in absolute disgust. My stomach was turning - twenty mystery-beef patties, twenty slices of American cheese*? Surely this kid is going to keel over and have a heart attack? Surely what he wants is some organic salad or something?

And then it hit me.

I want one. I want one real bad.

*Which someone once told me was made by bonding cheese curds, many of which may be rotten, together with beef fat. Is there any truth to this? Because, y'know, it tastes like there might be.
posted by bwerdmuller at 3:16 AM on August 29, 2003


Lends new meaning to the term "self abuse". Not the burger, but posting the pics for comment. Doesn't do much justice to In-n-Out, either. Perhaps its a McConspiracy.

Gee, I feel skinny now. Thanks!
posted by Goofyy at 3:55 AM on August 29, 2003


Oh gross. Don't know what's more vomitous, the burger, the close ups of his slack-jawed food-stuffed mouth or the comments.
Though it's interesting so many of them say things like, "I may be fat, but you're a fat motherfucker."
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:02 AM on August 29, 2003


His HotOrNot rating is going downdowndown.

Everything in moderation :sigh:
posted by Mossy at 4:12 AM on August 29, 2003


that's freaking nasty.

just look at that burger, gah- how nasty appearing.

i love cheeseburgers, but ohhhhhh....
posted by shadow45 at 4:32 AM on August 29, 2003


The interesting point about the kid eating a 20-patty burger is that this act is still possible now in only a very small percentage of burger joints in the world. I doubt (and correct me if i'm wrong here) that McDonalds for example would be able to sell you such a product because it wouldn't fit into their rigid menu structure and their robot-like staff would probably not know how to charge for such an item- it just wouldn't be in the manual!

On the other hand, companies like In-n-Out are still small enough and care about the customer so that one can still buy pretty much what one wants providing it's in burger form. And each in-n-out still have a delivery of potatoes every day (yes poatoes - not twice-cooked frozen fries) that they make into fries by hand and their burgers are made from fresh beef. You really can taste the difference! I'll stop now before I launch into a tirade about globalisation etc... but what I am saying is that it's a shame that we don't necessarily have the freedom of choice any more - even if that choice is to eat a 20-patty burger!
posted by andyHollister at 4:45 AM on August 29, 2003


That is among the most disgusting things I have ever seen on the intermeweb. It's up there with Goatse, Tubgirl and prolapsed bowel guy. On the plus side, I was having thoughts about straying from vegetarianism, but this fixed that.
posted by chill at 4:47 AM on August 29, 2003


Most definitely the defining point of this post is not the action (which, while gross, and ultimately foolhardy, is one man's choice) - it's the amazingly vitriolic responses the guestbook's received... There really are more important things in the world to get that riled up about!

(Man, best line 50 Cent ever rapped: "I love you like a fat kid loves cake"... Pure class in a glass!)
posted by benzo8 at 4:48 AM on August 29, 2003


Meanwhile the little Japanese hot-dog eating champion doesn't meet nearly this level of derision.

The meat is the message?
posted by Space Coyote at 4:51 AM on August 29, 2003


That burger is worse than Tubgirl or Goatse?! That is wrong on so many levels...
posted by byort at 5:01 AM on August 29, 2003


That burger is worse than Tubgirl or Goatse?! That is wrong on so many levels...
Not worse, but just as bad, in that it makes me feel sick and I can't look at it for more than 1 second.
it's the amazingly vitriolic responses the guestbook's received
Interestingly, I too have a deep hatred for that kid, his parents and the establishment that sold him the burger that I find difficult to explain. I guess it's the pride he is taking in his gluttony. or something.
posted by chill at 5:16 AM on August 29, 2003


I'm with andyHollister, mostly: It's great that you can wander into an In 'n Out and order that monster. That receipt was an image of pure joy to me.

PATTY PATTY PATTY PATTY PATTY...

And, yeah, the pictures are just pretty damn gross. Fast food doesn't photograph well under the best circumstances, and digital(?) photography under food-joint florescents, while you eat with yer hands and smear it on yer face...ew.

But I say, go him. Doing gross-ish things with food was sort of the defining social milieu in middle-school; I'm still young enough to have a sort of grudging respect for that sort of thing.
posted by cortex at 5:28 AM on August 29, 2003


Have any MeFites eaten at The White Spot in Charlottesville, VA? Reminds me of the Gusburger (Cheeseburger w/ fried egg on top) eating contests. Stan, you may have helped promote a new Internet legend.
posted by Frank Grimes at 5:33 AM on August 29, 2003


This kind of shit is why I STILL love the internet!
posted by afx114 at 9:35 AM on August 29, 2003


The interesting point about the kid eating a 20-patty burger is that this act is still possible now in only a very small percentage of burger joints in the world. I doubt (and correct me if i'm wrong here) that McDonalds for example would be able to sell you such a product because it wouldn't fit into their rigid menu structure and their robot-like staff would probably not know how to charge for such an item- it just wouldn't be in the manual!

I'm pretty positive you can do this at burger king - "Your Way", remember? You can keep adding patties, etc. I knew a dude who used to do something similar, but not nearly as bad.
posted by tirade at 9:55 AM on August 29, 2003


Damn. That's it. This and tubgirl, and now I'm completely off-course for the morning.
posted by carter at 9:56 AM on August 29, 2003


Jared...meet Jared.
posted by LinusMines at 9:58 AM on August 29, 2003


Can somebody please tell me what "goatse" and "tubgirl" are? Please be better friends than stan and just describe instead of linking.
posted by dgaicun at 10:00 AM on August 29, 2003


dgaicun, suffice to say tubgirl is the out for which this is the in.
posted by soyjoy at 10:11 AM on August 29, 2003


Alright, let's settle it.

Cheeseburger kid has been denied food for one day. 20 Feet away is an In-N-Out burger. Between them however, is the Star Wars kid armed with his stick (non-light-saber), whose final jedi test is to protect the burger at all costs.

Who wins?
posted by Stan Chin at 10:13 AM on August 29, 2003


Have any MeFites eaten at The White Spot in Charlottesville, VA? Reminds me of the Gusburger (Cheeseburger w/ fried egg on top) eating contests.


Gaaaaagh, the Gusburger! Somehow I went through eight years at UVA without ever eating one of those things.

And I kind of regret it.

Re: the link, yuck. Now I know why so many people hate the Western world.
posted by Tin Man at 10:37 AM on August 29, 2003


dgaicun, you can google either. But I wouldn't do it at work.
posted by carter at 10:40 AM on August 29, 2003


Can somebody please tell me what "goatse" and "tubgirl" are? Please be better friends than stan and just describe instead of linking.

textual descriptions of those 2 would be just as bad as going directly to the sites. as carter says, definitely do not google while at work.
posted by t r a c y at 10:43 AM on August 29, 2003


Cheeseburger kid has been denied food for one day. 20 Feet away is an In-N-Out burger. Between them however, is the Star Wars kid armed with his stick (non-light-saber), whose final jedi test is to protect the burger at all costs.

Who wins?


I don't know Stan, but I'm pretty sure that dignity loses.
posted by pooligan at 10:45 AM on August 29, 2003


Its sad, like when Dale Dale Gribble realizes eating worms and crazy shit on the playground didn't make him popular, it made him a freak.

But man-o-man the size of that burger!
posted by soren at 10:51 AM on August 29, 2003


Note to non-Americans who have just witnessed this atrocity:

We also drive huge cars and whine when gas costs nearly as much as milk and can't be bothered to turn off lights or recycle. No matter what happens to us as a people, do not feel bad for us because we have it coming.
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:57 AM on August 29, 2003


"Can somebody please tell me what "goatse" and "tubgirl" are?"

You need to spend more time at Fark to understand most of what this post and thread are about. Namely: Disgusting, juvenile, links which really leave no room for discussion. If you really have a need to know about goatse type stuff (and if you've graduated from anything beyond the 6th grade you really don't) Fark is the place to hang out.

Typically we try and keep Fark-type links out of MetaFilter, because there are plenty of other sites that do that, and making MetaFilter into just another gross sex and stupid people forum would make it pretty much worthless.

But it's Stan. And everyone loves him because he's so clever. So we don't mind him posting links that would get deleted if they came from anyone else.
posted by y6y6y6 at 10:58 AM on August 29, 2003


Woot woo! :)
posted by Stan Chin at 11:19 AM on August 29, 2003


But it's Stan. And everyone loves him because he's so clever. So we don't mind him posting links that would get deleted if they came from anyone else.

*feels confused* you're being sarcastic, right...?
posted by t r a c y at 11:22 AM on August 29, 2003


But it's Stan. And everyone loves him because he's so clever. So we don't mind him posting links that would get deleted if they came from anyone else.

You are so full of shit.

It must be a bummer to not even let stuff to go, to be unable to go "enh, whatever" and close the window without pretending that it makes you <scarequotes>mature</scarequotes>. Really, you're like an eighth grader using the idea of maturity as a medallion to ward off social undesirables.

Wait, maybe you're right - maybe mefi should just switch entirely to posting links to news stories which we can then argue about ad-nauseum, endlessly parroting the same predetermined viewpoints at each other. Yes, brilliant, I love it.
posted by kavasa at 11:24 AM on August 29, 2003


Here's the main issue...some kid thinks it's a lark to buy a humungous burger, and he's lambasted for it, as he apparently represents the downfall of society. If you ask me, the second of Stan's links is 10,000 times worse as far as attitude and images. But hey, I'm a prude...
posted by byort at 11:35 AM on August 29, 2003


I had a nice long comment talking about how disgusted and disappointed I was and how this gross act reflected the psychological state of the USA, re self-loathing, arrogance, wastefulness, abuse of oneself and the world at large, and so on, when the server decided to die. Bad server!

From the comments (I couldn't tell if it was sarcastic or not): this entry is everything right about the USA. simply amazing. keep up the good work.

kavasa, I think y6 is pointing out that the denizens of MetaFilter try to keep a somewhat higher standard than most other similar sites out there, and this post is definitely below the standard. And trust me, y6 has no problem discussing things that are "socially undesirable". Look him up, why don't you?
posted by ashbury at 11:38 AM on August 29, 2003


DO NOT GOOGLE TUBGIRL!! Keep looking at burger boy. I say again, DO NOT GOOGLE TUBGIRL!! Stay away, I am warning you now dgaicun. Stay away from it. I am permanently scarred after seeing that image. Burger boy is good clean fun after having seen tubgirl.
posted by a3matrix at 11:50 AM on August 29, 2003


The first link is great didn't occur to me you could order a burger like that. Why so much badgering to this kid, he's not cute enough for you. It only hurt him, not you, unless you're jealous, you can't eat one too.

Point out, In-N-Out burgers are privately owned, if not I'd have a franchise too. Secondly it is a true American eating establishment; family owned, teens find it a popular place to work(very popular on Fri/Sat nights), and all items are freshly made, down to slicing the potatoes into fries.

Now what is not unique about that burger, ever seen such?Plus it's Labor Day weekend in the States, family friends & barbecues. Have some fun too, go out and do something crazy, this kid did.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:11 PM on August 29, 2003


"You are so full of shit."

Yes. This is true. Ask anyone.

"....and close the window without pretending that it makes you mature."

Closing the window, ignoring the link, skipping the thread. Explain to me how this helps? The consensus of the community, and the stated desire of the site owner, is that we avoid Fark-like posts. We self police here. Sometimes that gets annoying. And I'm sure that's sometimes my fault. But there it is. Just ignoring it seems like a very bad idea to me. Please explain why it's not. Pretty please, oh sage of how full of shit I am.

"Really, you're like an eighth grader using the idea of maturity as a medallion to ward off social undesirables."

I have a huge porn collection. I like to fart in elevators just before getting off. I spend about 25% of my life playing video games. "Jackass" is one of my all-time favorite shows. I masturbate more than is healthy. I have won several eating and drinking contests. I think only a clueless boob would ever buy a Riedel wine glass. I find pictures of Madonna and Britney kissing irresistible. I have slept in my own vomit. Several times.

Social undesirables are typically more interesting than mainstreams, but I think it's fair to at least ask that they try. Fark is the place for especially cheap humor. We expect more from our gross-out humor here. Surely you aren't going to argue that "anything goes" is what's best for MetaFilter.

Sometimes Stan is brilliant. Seriously. He's gotten spit takes out of me. But this post is Fark. Pure Fark. Bad Fark even. So take it to Fark.
posted by y6y6y6 at 12:15 PM on August 29, 2003


Does this mean I'm not going to get on MF Distilled???
posted by Stan Chin at 12:17 PM on August 29, 2003


Why so much badgering to this kid, he's not cute enough for you. It only hurt him, not you,

No, not us, but others were hurt. Just sayin'.
posted by soyjoy at 12:29 PM on August 29, 2003


> Fark is the place for especially cheap humor. We self police
> here.


posted by jfuller at 12:35 PM on August 29, 2003


Man, that so many of you people can get a good "God I hate (the US|the Western World|Capitalism)" rant out of some kid eating a huge-ass burger on a lark -- and this actually smacks of a dare, to me -- really boggles my mind. Do we really need so many professionally outraged people?

Goodonya, Burgerdood. I hope you got fifty bucks for that.

(I also wonder if the reactions would have been as vitriolic if this kid hadn't been fat)
posted by jammer at 12:45 PM on August 29, 2003


I have slept in my own vomit. Several times.
Yes, but you still can't self post, ;P
posted by thomcatspike at 12:46 PM on August 29, 2003


Alright, time to fess up:

My all - freshman dorm ordered the biggest In and Out burger ever in 1994. Over 300 patties, with a bun at either end. We had to build a 7 foot long box for them to make it in, and the dorm government approved dorm funds for us to buy it. They had to open at 8:30 AM to start cooking for us. Unfortunately, Guinness declined our submission tape because we didn't have an accredited representative there. I personally managed to eat 5 (they brought out extra buns / lettuce / tomatoes etc so that you could make your own burger out of the monstrosity). However, it was only when I saw a football player with 22 patties and cheese heaped on a plastic tray that I decided that something truly horrifying had happened.

I was 18. And while it was probably a Bad Thing (tm) I still file it under requisite college stupidity.
posted by synapse at 12:47 PM on August 29, 2003


And in case I didn't make it clear - it's a damn good memory!
posted by synapse at 12:49 PM on August 29, 2003


This post and everything mentioned or linked are why the internet must be destroyed.
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:10 PM on August 29, 2003


Do we really need so many professionally outraged people?

Do you not understand? Bush did nothing to prevent this. NOTHING. Why do you hate America so much?
posted by arto at 1:12 PM on August 29, 2003


Closing the window, ignoring the link, skipping the thread. Explain to me how this helps?

For one thing it cuts down significantly on the bitchy comments. MeTa was invented for a reason.

Oh, and this kid deserves the 'Hero' tag.
posted by Space Coyote at 1:27 PM on August 29, 2003


Mmmmm.....GusBurgers.......

I believe I'll head over that way tonight. It should be pretty busy, as class started back this week. I still have a slight tolerance for undergrads left, although I can tell that it is slowly fading away.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 1:35 PM on August 29, 2003


Sometimes Stan is brilliant.

Well that should clear up t r a c y's confusion. Or not :D

So what if some kid ordered and ate a ginormous burger?? This says nothing about america and it's so called decline; it says a bit about boys and their big appetites and goofy ways. That's it.
posted by zarah at 2:01 PM on August 29, 2003


y6 - hm, that was a pretty good answer. Angry ton insults etc. retracted. They were out of line, my apologies.

That said, the level of discussion is entirely up to the members of the site. I present as evidence to you this thread. In it, some have argued that the kid is exemplary of the poisoned attitudes of America so on and so forth; others have sought to refute it.

It's a maxim of something or other that any product of a culture says something profound about that culture. It's a maxim of something else that you people are getting entirely worked up over nothing. And the argument between the two camps seems suitably mefi-ey.
posted by kavasa at 2:13 PM on August 29, 2003



posted by quonsar at 2:15 PM on August 29, 2003


Man, that so many of you people can get a good "God I hate (the US|the Western World|Capitalism)" rant out of some kid eating a huge-ass burger on a lark -- and this actually smacks of a dare, to me -- really boggles my mind. Do we really need so many professionally outraged people?

Not professionally outraged. Just culturally constipated.
posted by jonmc at 2:27 PM on August 29, 2003


Wait, so you're saying we need a 20-head-of-lettuce salad now? (Cue SCTV Orson Welles sketch.)
posted by arto at 2:36 PM on August 29, 2003


Do we really need so many professionally outraged people?

I wish that I could be outraged that way. I'm so ready to turn pro.

Why am I outraged at this? Because it's appalling. It's just indicative of how driven we, as Americans, are to consume. Resources mean nothing to us. We drive too much, eat too much and buy too much and, as evidence by the remark above and those in a similar vein, we get very defensive when someone says that we shouldn't. The kid is wasteful-- that in itself is very ordinary. What isn't ordinary and garners strong displeasure from me is that he, in effect, decided to brag about how wasteful he is by photographing and posting the event.

What ever happened to shame? Is the kid in question next going to document how he used way too much toilet paper to wipe his ass with the remains of a meal for fourteen? If you're miserable and want to mistreat your body like that, do it with a little dignity in front of the TV instead of offering yourself up as spectacle.

Somehow, Americans are being taught the parable of The Ant and the Grasshopper , except that the ant gets told to fuck himself and the sad ending's removed. That, and the grasshopper uses up the ant's stuff too and it's somehow justified.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:38 PM on August 29, 2003


**pins good citizen award on Mayor Curley**

we're all very impressed. you are a greater being than us. Now lighten up, dad. It's a kid eating a burger, in what looks very much like a dare of some kind. I've seen worse. Hell, I once ate a 21-oz burger with bacon & blue cheese just to win a glass of scotch.

Juvenile? Sure. But so what. Y'all sound like you need real things to get upset about.
posted by jonmc at 2:43 PM on August 29, 2003


Mayor Curley, do not underestimate burgerboy's powers. burgerboy is everywhere and he can hear your thoughts.
posted by poopy at 2:51 PM on August 29, 2003


What ever happened to shame?

Someone's been watching the 700 Club.
posted by dhoyt at 2:57 PM on August 29, 2003


he can hear your thoughts

I hope so, because I've been thinking about how he's going to die alone with a Cheez-It box in his lap and the yellow pages flipped open to "Escort Services."

Someone's been watching the 700 Club.

If the fundamentalists are specifically against being wasteful turds, get me some Dockers, Brylcreme and a fancy bible because I'm signing up.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:03 PM on August 29, 2003


...die alone with a Cheez-It box in his lap and the yellow pages flipped open to "Escort Services."

Hey-oooooo!

/ed mcmahon
posted by dhoyt at 3:07 PM on August 29, 2003


No, mayor curley is completely correct in defining what is sick about that kid, this post and American attitudes. I couldn't have said it better. I would also like to repeat my earlier statement: The internet must be destroyed. It started as a cool thing, I know, and has all sorts of potential, but no one does anything good with it. The internet has survived not by giving us a better world, but delivering a way for goatse and tubgirl to burn images on our brains. Images that we may never recover from. Ever.

I say destroy the internet and send all you people to work in the fields or salt-mines. It is too late for you, but maybe the next generation can still be saved.
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:11 PM on August 29, 2003


Mayor Curley - what, do you think that if this kid hadn't eaten 20 burger patties there'd somehow be more meat for the poor and starving in the world? Maybe in a world where resources are perfectly allocated, but that simply isn't the world we're living in. That one store maybe ran out of meat a little ahead of their next delivery, or the meat the kid ate would have been lost to spoilage anyway. The kid's stunt had virtually no net impact on the world economy and was little more than a statistical aberration in the local economy.

So, why on earth should he be shameful? Sure, a few minutes later, he was probably puking a huge chunk of that burger, but it's not like it would have been put to better use if he hadn't eaten it. He's having a bit of fun. I seriously doubt that anybody is living purely enough to justify getting offended by this. If they're being hypocrites, then I'd say that's the greater social evil. If they're not being hypocrites, then I have to wonder how dismal must their life be leading a life of abject austerity always mindful of the social good and only consuming enough to support the barest thread of life.

Whichever way it falls, I'd much rather be this kid then the ones that are offended by him.
posted by willnot at 3:27 PM on August 29, 2003


Waste
Mayor Curlyey, if you hurry you may be able to save the tea in your harbor;P (you may have your personal convictions for this youth, nice of you too).
Also folks fat boys don't always turn into fat men.
posted by thomcatspike at 3:38 PM on August 29, 2003


what, do you think that if this kid hadn't eaten 20 burger patties there'd somehow be more meat for the poor and starving in the world? Maybe in a world where resources are perfectly allocated, but that simply isn't the world we're living in.

Ah, since the world is already fucked up this kid is free to be an asshole and then revel in his own assholery? To the salt mine with him!!

just because I'm not funny doesn't mean I'm not kidding
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:40 PM on August 29, 2003


The kid is gross for a myriad of reasons.
•It's just gross to eat Carl's Junior anything.
•It's wasteful, but one can argue anything at Carl's Junior is already waste by-product
•The kid displays that proto-American shamelessness. Within a generation Americans have lost the ability to feel embarrassed about anything.
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:47 PM on August 29, 2003


At this moment, early in a Friday evening, there is literally millions of people in North America preparing for and looking forward to a night of drinking alcohol, proudly and efficiently killing as many brain cells and making themselves potentially violent until they pass out. And you all are getting upset over a kid eating a burger, obviously a one time thing, since it was thought to be important enough to photograph. I can only conclude that you all have a large amount of hatred pent up and this poor fat kid came along and got it blown into his face all at once. The AC posting insults on the page itself is not as bad as people in this thread telling this kid to hate himself.

•The kid displays that proto-American shamelessness. Within a generation Americans have lost the ability to feel embarrassed about anything.

Thank goodness for that, it took religion thousands of years to fuck people up with the idea of shame to the point where people felt guilty for touching their wieners and enjoying it. That people can shed these shackles, enjoy a burger and say 'fuck you' to the people who don't like it within the space of a couple of generations shows remarkable resilience of the human spirit.

And he's just a kid, so he probably hasn't gotten the memo that he's supposed to hate himself for being fat.
posted by Space Coyote at 3:59 PM on August 29, 2003


Except it's not Carl's Jr., elwoodwiles. It's In-n-Out Burger, which Eric Schlosser, of all people, actually approves of.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:01 PM on August 29, 2003


George: Oh, see I got all distracted and misspoke. I stand corrected.

Space Coyote: He probably didn't get the memo about heart disease, diabetes or the stress he is going to put on the health care system either.

I'm glad that this kid is such a shinning example of the human spirit. Wow, he ate twenty burgers! What heroic use of the human spirit over spiritual and puritanical repression! C'mon. Feeling embarrassed about being a stupid dunder head isn't rooted in religion, it's rooted in being a part of a vibrant community. I'd rather see him use his resilient human spirit to help someone in need, do something creative or making himself healthier; instead he ate most of a cow.
posted by elwoodwiles at 4:16 PM on August 29, 2003


And he's just a kid, so he probably hasn't gotten the memo that he's supposed to hate himself for being fat.

shit. thin kids have been shoving that memo down his throat on a daily basis, right after the morning welcome wedgie and just before the ritual toilet humiliation.
posted by quonsar at 4:35 PM on August 29, 2003


Feeling embarrassed about being a stupid dunder head isn't rooted in religion, it's rooted in being a part of a vibrant community.

You may have put your finger on why people are abandoning the whole concept of "community" in droves. Good riddance, I say.
posted by kindall at 4:46 PM on August 29, 2003


Too much hatred isn't good for the heart either. And I don't see any railing against the participants in the Nathan's Famous Hotdog Eating Contest, certainly not near the level that this kid is taking from usually mature MetaFilter members.

If the kid wasn't pudgy I seriously doubt anyone's comments would be nearly so personal or negative. Surely adults can resist the temptation to judge peopple, especially children, by their appearances.

It reminds me of a friend of mine, who is overweight by any definition. Yes we all think he'd do well to lose some of it, but it's still fucking awesome that he can pack away 86 chicken wings in one sitting. Yes it's pointless, but the occasional stunt isn't the cause of anyone's obesity.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:48 PM on August 29, 2003


We drive too much, eat too much and buy too much and, as evidence by the remark above and those in a similar vein, we get very defensive when someone says that we shouldn't.

Defensive? Hah. Whatever. I don't give a shit, personally, how much you try to make yourself feel like a better person by pissing on a fat kid trying to have a little bit of stupid fun.

Are Americans wasteful? Yes, we are. If anything, it's a symbol of the fact that we're one of the richest countries in the world, and I'm damn proud of that fact. Should we perhaps cut back a bit? Almost certainly.

Is a silly kid eating a stupid uber-large hamburger worth getting all riled up about? Not at all, Don Quixote. Leave that poor windmill alone.

If you're so uptight about American waste, why don't you get your ass offline and shut your computer down? Lord knows, some poor starving kid in Africa could use the electricty you're wasting by demonstrating your superiority to the rest of the supid, fat, wasteful Americans.

I'm going to go have a burger now.
posted by jammer at 4:50 PM on August 29, 2003


.. and being thin isn't the cause of any person's happiness unless that person is a shallow twit.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:57 PM on August 29, 2003


i'm going to have a burger now. and i'm getting an extra, just to litter the roadside with. hey, have you seen a double cheesewhopper hit a mailbox at 60mph? it really puts things in perspective.
posted by quonsar at 5:07 PM on August 29, 2003


up next!... snoop dog does 'girls gone wild' while burger boy attempts to beat his previous world-breaking record... there are some who believe this type of behavior is contributing to the degredation of america... we report, you decide.
posted by poopy at 5:20 PM on August 29, 2003


"Come on, come on, come on. Don't give me that. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. We gotta have turnover. You want a cheeseburger? Come on, everybody got a cheeseburger. You want a cheeseburger? Come on, cheeseburger?"
"I, I don't want a cheeseburger. It's too early for a cheeseburger."
"Too early for a cheeseburger? Look: cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!"
posted by ecrivain at 5:38 PM on August 29, 2003


Jeez. What happened to the MeFi 'It's not his fault, it's the fault of the greedy republican social exploiters that they can't stop eating till they're too fat to crap on a standard dumper" folks I'd expect to see here?
posted by HTuttle at 11:02 PM on August 29, 2003


Oferchrissakes. He ate a big fuckin' burger. So what. I feel guilty every time I drive my '70 Impala instead of my CRX, but I was just amused by this. It's not the end of the world.

I think some people have 16 burgers worth of mental constipation.
posted by notsnot at 11:15 PM on August 29, 2003


As an european and an enthusiastic america-basher and a communist-voter, I must say I enjoyed this link immensely. I do not think this is an indication of america gone bad. Wherever there is food, someone will eat too much of it, be it burgers, boar, moose or blueberries.
posted by lazy-ville at 11:55 PM on August 29, 2003


And note that this very weekend, America's critically-tolerated Discovery Channel will air its second in a series of "Gut Busters" programs, for informational purposes, of course.
posted by wendell at 12:24 AM on August 30, 2003



posted by Mayor Curley at 4:34 AM on August 30, 2003


Hey check it out, it's Starvin' Sarvin. I was wondering what happened to that guy. Whatever happened to the watch he had around his waist, anyway?
posted by Space Coyote at 6:06 AM on August 30, 2003


Starvin' Marvin. God damnit.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:06 AM on August 30, 2003


This post was great. I swear, this is the kind of thing that MeFi's about for me: interesting stuff on the Web that people haven't seen. Like it or not like it, there's no way you can look at that burger eating fest without some level of amazement. The look on his face was worth every kb of download.
posted by adampsyche at 8:52 AM on August 30, 2003


Ya' know, I'm quite taken aback by the righteousness of the defenders of this kid. You all act like you're defending someone's basic human rights and dignity against a prudish and repressive society. Well guess what? Talk all you want but this kid still looks like an undeserving, obese slob who is doing nothing but wasting resources for his own shits and giggle. The argument that 'him eating the food didn't contribute to world hunger' is ridiculous and implies that 'world hunger' is something happening so far away that we as Americans can just waste without second thought. There are hungry people in America! Surprised? So our little piggy-boy should be applauded for eating twenty burgers, because according to some he is throwing off the chains of conformity. Yet we should continue to ignore and revile those who make an effort to conserve rather then consume, since they're just repressive prudes.

Ask yourself this, would this get posted if the kid gave twenty burgers to hungry children? Naw. That'd be boring.

And kindall: You need your community, if you turn your back you are depriving yourself of something very important.

Space coyote: I'm happy to be healthy and to live a healthy lifestyle. Am I shallow? I'm cute so I don't have to care ;)
posted by elwoodwiles at 11:56 AM on August 30, 2003


I would hope that all hungry people in the world would someday be able to eat a 20x20 burger. I'm sorry you don't feel the same way.
posted by Space Coyote at 12:06 PM on August 30, 2003


first, Mayor McNoCheese, you are the best...the Cheez-It box confirms it.

second, on the nightmare of goatse, i spent a long evening last night responding to friends who clicked the BurgerBoy link from my blog...and found, you guessed it, the goat. it's all corrupted -- i got the link from kottke.org and it's all over his comments too. my friends were all fearing for my mental state, since i had made all these puns about "cramming in too much meat" -- sweet christ. bad Internet, bad! No!!
posted by serafinapekkala at 12:21 PM on August 30, 2003


Space Coyote: Dude, you have no idea how I feel, despite your assumptions. I would hope that every hungry person in this world would someday be able to eat a healthy life giving meal.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:27 PM on August 30, 2003


Well done, Elwood. In the eyes of Metafilter, we just lost. Don't ever, EVER make an overt reference to obesity here. You're just lucky that this thread's too dead for anyone to bother reaching for the torches and the pitchforks.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:31 PM on August 30, 2003


The problem is with people not being able to separate the obesity issue from a dude scarfing down a freaky huge burger.
posted by Space Coyote at 12:37 PM on August 30, 2003


elweedwiles - I notice you haven't responded to jammer's suggestion that those worried about waste should turn off their computers and stop wasting time on the Internet. Your computer uses limited resources, and I'm sure your time could be better spent going out and help hungry people in America or India or anyplace you want to look get themselves fed. For all you know, that's exactly what this kid spends 99.9% of his time doing when he isn't engaging in frivolous stunts.
posted by willnot at 12:38 PM on August 30, 2003


sorry - elwoodwiles -- typo.
posted by willnot at 12:39 PM on August 30, 2003


Here's a video of a guy smoking 154 cigarettes at once. Let's have a discussion about how he's going to die of lung cancer, and give his kids asthma.
posted by Space Coyote at 12:40 PM on August 30, 2003


So obesity is a godwin? Oh for pete's sake! Sometimes this place is annoying as hell with all the little inbent unspoken rules of discourse.

Oh, well. I don't really feel that I did anything incorrect. I refrenced obesity because the kid is over weight and other posters insisted on making this a skinny v. fat thing, which was never my point. It is an issue of wasting common resource for entertainment instead of harnessing excess resources to benefit a community.

jammer's suggestion doesn't make any logical sense. Surfing the internet doesn't connect to the consumption of massize amount of resources in the way of over-eating does. No one is saying we should live in rags and eat ashes, just conserve our collective resources by using what we need.

Space Coyote: Well, that also has little to do with this conversation. That guy is an idiot for smoking that many cigarettes, prank or not. I would doubt that the only time he smokes is when he smokes 154 at one time so he probably is going to get lung cancer and give his kid asthma. What's your point?
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:53 PM on August 30, 2003


What's your point?

Your last paragraph proved my point better than I ever could.
posted by Space Coyote at 1:01 PM on August 30, 2003


Okay, so my point about the burger-kid is almost exactly the same, plus an element of wastefullness. Suddenly I'm not sure what we are disagreeing about......
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:11 PM on August 30, 2003


Simple, I just don't feel it necessary to dump on individuals for society's imbalances. Also, this kid's weight seems to have more to do with the negativity directed at him than the stunt itself.
posted by Space Coyote at 2:29 PM on August 30, 2003


Simple, I just don't feel it necessary to dump on individuals for society's imbalances.
I'll concede that point. I am assigning the weight of mass-consumption culture to the burger kid. He made himself into a target by behaving in a way that is irresponsible and wasteful for the sake of being wasteful, but it is the larger culture that supports such activities. One of the reasons resources are so badly allocated in the world is resources go to the wealthy. The wealthy cultures often have a skewed vision of the commons unchecked by reality. If the burger kid understood the poverty that exists in this world I'd hope he think of a better prank. At the end of the day society is made up of individuals who are responsible for themselves and the social conventions their lives support.

Also, this kid's weight seems to have more to do with the negativity directed at him than the stunt itself.
I did make comments about the kid's weight, as did many others who somehow didn't violate any "rules." Perhaps I should have said "undeserving, unhealthy slob". I never said or implied that the burger kid is over weight because he eats twenty burgers in a sitting, I pointed out the wastefulness of the activity.
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:49 PM on August 30, 2003


Fat kids eating megaburgers used to make me really angry. Oh the wasteful, attention-seeking hedonism! Oh the unrepentant, audacious chubbiness!

Then, one day, I discovered I had a large, dry corn cob up my ass.

Getting that cob out wasn't easy, but I feel so much more relaxed now. Links like this one just strike me as amusing these days. (Farky, but amusing.)
posted by boredomjockey at 6:00 PM on August 30, 2003


yeah, but did you eat the entire cob?
posted by quonsar at 1:45 AM on August 31, 2003


Then, one day, I discovered I had a large, dry corn cob up my ass.

Boredomjockey, I assure you that's not the issue. I'm not the type to put corn cobs up there in the first place. As for your experience, it's your ass, and ultimately you can do what you want with it, but I'd appreciate it if you saved those stories for flimsy excuses to your proctologist and didn't share them here.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:37 AM on August 31, 2003


I think we know what happened to that corn cob.
posted by Space Coyote at 5:10 AM on August 31, 2003


quonsar - those are my pugs, goddammit!
posted by jonson at 8:56 PM on September 1, 2003


jammer's suggestion doesn't make any logical sense. Surfing the internet doesn't connect to the consumption of massize amount of resources in the way of over-eating does. No one is saying we should live in rags and eat ashes, just conserve our collective resources by using what we need.

And what, exactly, does one need? On an absolute survivalist level, all that we really need is approximately 2 kilocalories per day and sufficient protection from the elements that our metabolism isn't unbalanced. Beyond that, it's all excess. Simply because you consider your level of excess to be less than somebody elses doesn't make you any more virtuous.

You have no more innate physical need for your internet connection (or electricity, or running water, or even the roof over your head, when a cave would do) then BurgerBoy does for a megaburger. We're all wasting resources, Mr. Pot, so come down off your high horse and join the rest of us kettles.
posted by jammer at 9:12 AM on September 2, 2003


Page has moved.
posted by Space Coyote at 12:53 PM on September 18, 2003


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