Man Drinks And Woman Drinks

September 2, 2003 8:10 AM

The Last Bastion Of Serious Sexual Discrimination: Booze!Do men and women really have different tastes when it comes to drinking? What does it all mean? Do girls really like girly cocktails? Do men hate sweet, fruity drinks? Are rye and malt whiskeys, cognac, red wine and beer resolutely masculine? Are gin, cocktails, liqueurs, white wine and champagne eternally feminine? Is vodka neutral? Is a gin and tonic always truly gay? Is tequila bisexual? Too neat? Perhaps. I wonder whether guy booze, girl booze and gay booze can ever be satisfactorily mapped out...
posted by MiguelCardoso (96 comments total)

This reminds me of that Kids in the Hall sketch "Girl Drink Drunk".
posted by stifford at 8:15 AM on September 2, 2003

1) Open mouth
2) Taste air
3) Select drink
4) Ignore the opinions of others
5) Drink

That's all the sorting I require.

The being said, Red bull and Triple Sec makes a jesus-good drink.
posted by jon_kill at 8:16 AM on September 2, 2003

The only thing I wonder about is the difference between guy, girl, and gay livers.
posted by oh posey at 8:18 AM on September 2, 2003

The last bastion? What about clothing, makeup, tv shows, or just about anything else not related to work?
posted by delmoi at 8:19 AM on September 2, 2003

I never fit into these "guys like this; girls like this" things. Some days I like a big, stupid fruity drink. Some days I like a Jack and Coke. I no longer partake of my signature drink of the early 90s: Everclear and blue cream soda.
posted by JoanArkham at 8:26 AM on September 2, 2003

under which gender does Sterno fall?
posted by jonmc at 8:27 AM on September 2, 2003

Drink selection doesn't break down along sexual preference/identity so much as it does along scientific/religious boundaries.

Makers Mark, for example, is the best argument for the creationist "intelligent design" theory I've yet come across.

Of course, that's shattered when one ponders the existence of Red Bull and it's use in any sort of mixed drink. Clearly a Darwinist mutant aberration if there ever was one. [I don't mean that personally, jon_kill, I just can't stand the stuff.]
posted by aladfar at 8:35 AM on September 2, 2003

Raises Black Russian, toasts MeFiers... wonders if have given away gender identity....
posted by orange swan at 8:36 AM on September 2, 2003

The Dude abides with Caucasians. Sometimes MGD.

And that's good enough for me.

Unless I'm feeling gay and then it's a nice Merlot.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:37 AM on September 2, 2003

Forgive me. Isn't this like asking if burgers are just guy food? Whether a woman can really enjoy a taco? If fettucine alfredo is truly "gay"?

Please, maybe people like what they like. For the record, I like whiskey (on the rocks, particularly Maker's Mark), gin (in its "and tonic" and "martini" forms), red wine, sake, and beer. By the above list, you would think I must be horribly sexually confused.
posted by ilsa at 8:37 AM on September 2, 2003

I think the divisions are more along economic lines. People who can afford fancy drinks will buy them whether they're male or female.
posted by PenDevil at 8:42 AM on September 2, 2003

hmmm.. .ammeretto and orange...

Oh, and I thought it was pink gin that was gay...
posted by twine42 at 8:50 AM on September 2, 2003

Gin and tonic is a gay drink? And I've been sending the wrong signal every time I place an order for the last twelve years? Is this another one of those cultural signifiers everybody knows but me?

Then again, I also like Cosmos, margaritas, lambics and limoncello, and can't abide whiskey or bourbon. So maybe I shouldn't be all that surprised.

Pass me one of those French Martinis. And make sure it has an umbrella in it, damn it.
posted by ook at 8:54 AM on September 2, 2003

Isn't this like asking ...whether a woman can really enjoy a taco?

I'm fairly sure a lesbian could.
posted by jonmc at 8:54 AM on September 2, 2003

Bender: "Hey bar keep, I'll have a fuzzy navel and she'll have the girliest drink in da house."

Bar Keeper: "Two fuzzy navels coming up!"
posted by Cyrano at 8:54 AM on September 2, 2003

I do find that girls who enjoy more male type drinks are better in bed, oddly.
posted by Space Coyote at 9:03 AM on September 2, 2003

I am a male who loves sweet, fruity drinks and "girlie" cocktails (and almost everything else you can pour out of a bottle). Among my acquaintances I know many whiskey-drinking, cognac-chugging, wine-sipping, beer-loving women, and fewer men with the same inclinations. Following the logic of the OP, all the women would therefore be gay, and the men would be on shaky ground.

When I was in my teens in the early 90s, girls drank white wine and boys drank beer or liquor, and you were not a man until you'd consumed a few glasses of Lars' dad's home-distilled 96% and painted the toilet green while your buddies recorded it on video for posterity. The last few years, red wine has soared to rather disturbing heights of popularity among all sexes, even to some extent replacing coffee as a casual café drink. The only drink that seems to have a genuine gender stamp is Bailey's Irish Cream.

Vodka is neutral: when used as a base, it's almost tasteless, and unless you drink it straight or mix really bad cocktails, the quality of the product essentially doesn't matter.

Oh, and rum-drinkers are pirates.
posted by gentle at 9:16 AM on September 2, 2003

Following the logic of the OP, all the women would therefore be gay,....

This is because they all are. I know this because they all turned me down for sex.
posted by jonmc at 9:22 AM on September 2, 2003

gin: awful
tonic: god-awful

gin + tonic: scrumptious


who'da thunk?
posted by gottabefunky at 9:36 AM on September 2, 2003

Reminds me of a fraternity-involved friend of mine in college, who told me about his "pledge roll" where initiates have to do demeaning/dangerous things for a week (in the interests of brotherhood, of course).

These included carrying around a mattress, performing impromptu street mime, and saying "let me be frank" (the guy's name was Frank) in response to everything.

The biggest guy it the pledge group had to walk into the toughest bar in Durham, NC wearing overalls and no shirt and order a peach daiquiri.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:41 AM on September 2, 2003

I prefer white wine to red; love gin and tonics, adore cocktails of every sort - I even like indulging in a Haagen-Daz vanilla shake with half a bottle of Bailey's - so I'm not pretending to be macho or straight here.

Still, in my experience few women like grappa, marc, rye whiskey, acquavit or any other dry, fiery spirit served in shot glasses. Some pretend to like it but, after they've captured your heart, say is was all part of the chase. The cruelty!

The archetypes here are: dry and sweet, cereal-based and fruit-based; simple and mixed; overproof and proof and under. I'd say only men like cereal-based, dry and unmixed overproof spirits. Bourbon is sweet so it counts as feminine.

Neutral cocktails, because they're fruity and dry at the same time: Manhattans; old-fashioneds; sidecars; margueritas; daiquiris...

Male cocktails: Sazeracs; dry (gin) martinis; bloody marys, salty dogs...

Female cocktails: Alexanders; white ladies; singapore slings; cosmopolitans, mai-tais.

And yet certain very sweet fortified wines - like Port and the sweeter Madeiras - are often preferred by men, while women indulge more in the less sweet sherries.

It's very confusing.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:49 AM on September 2, 2003

Well it is usually Tanqueray and Tonic for me... I have never heard of that being a gay drink....

Perhaps there is a quick reference to help me out in the future?

For a short while jack and coke would do, and Seagrams mixed a few ways would make the good cocktail

Guinness - drank by a gal is a nice site to see.

I wonder: could one make a "guy" drink in that fabulous style popular seen at tropical vacation spots. I guess you can't... there cannot be too many things on the glass for the "true" guy drink.

On that note I wonder what gal drinks my friend's grandmother was making before she hid the bottles under the furniture.
posted by RubberHen at 9:53 AM on September 2, 2003

Female cocktails: cosmopolitans
Psst!...no carbs.
Cranberries, besides being a native North American fruit is also one that is high in calories.
posted by thomcatspike at 10:03 AM on September 2, 2003

Being rather young (say 22 or so) when I started drinking gin and tonics, I still joke about how all i need is a pack of menthol 100s and I'd be an old jewish woman. I'm not sure where I got the idea that the G&T was for old jewish women, but it somehow still seems quite right with me (current trendyness aside).

That said, in my heavier drinking days, it was nothing but bourbon and coke and shots of Jagermeister, with the occasional beer night for "taking it easy".

Just about the only thing I refuse to drink is anything with a flavored rum in it (spiced, coconut, or otherwise). And some drinks, like melon balls (a past fav of my g/f) are just too damn impaligating*.

*word in Spanish that really has no English equivalent. Basically kind of like ingesting something too sweet and you can't take any more sweetness for a long time.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:05 AM on September 2, 2003

"Is a gin and tonic always truly gay?"

There's nothing gay about a gin and tonic. Most people I know hate gin & anything, but it's a very strong yet refreshing drink.

Now, if you want a really gay drink, you probably want a cum shot...
posted by insomnia_lj at 10:25 AM on September 2, 2003

I've been drinking Sapphire and Schweppes all summer, and I haven't taken it up the ass once. And this is in Provincetown!
posted by nicwolff at 10:25 AM on September 2, 2003

My $.02:

I see Gin and Tonics as sort of an old man/frat boy summer drink. Definitely not girly. It's what my dad drank, and I like one every now and then.

I won't date a woman who doesn't drink beer, the cheap stuff, at least occasionally in quantity.

I'll drink one margarita, then switch to beer. But that's rare. My fiancee made a sweet sorrell rum drink last night -- I had one, enjoyed it, then beer.

Oh, and rum-drinkers are pirates.
yarrrr
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:31 AM on September 2, 2003

Which raises the question ... What sort of chocolate do you like?
posted by seanyboy at 10:55 AM on September 2, 2003

I think the divisions are more along economic lines. People who can afford fancy drinks will buy them whether they're male or female.

yeah, but a nice scotch can cost as much as cute cocktail... I usually drink pretty straightforward drinks - beer, or vodka/tonic, eg. But it depends on the company, the venue, the mood, etc. With certain foods I'll have wine; at a mexican place, I'll have margaritas, at a japanese place, sake, etc. Always bloody mary over mimosa with brunch.

I do admit that I notice a little more whiskey drinking among straight male or lesbian friends, and more whatever-tini drinking among straight female and gay male friends, but it's certainly not a definitive line, and as delmoi pointed out, impossible to argue that it's more definitive than clothes, or various other social markers that we as a populace often turn to shape our identity. I don't think much of an argument could be made for a biological reason for the preference of certain drinks. Although I guess it's possible men have slightly more dull taste buds on average and hence don't require as much disguise in their drinks... still, I know plenty of women who like whiskey and plenty of men who like mixed drinks.

There's also the novelty vs. familiarity thing - with the whatevertini craze, every time a person goes somewhere new, there's some new cocktail they've never had before; one thing about the old 'regular' customer and his (usually) scotch, is that he knows exactly what he's getting, and that's part of the up-side to him. Interestingly, that distinction makes it sound as if women are stereotypically the risk takers, which isn't the usual interpretation

The good thing about scotch is that it makes your chest immediately feel warm; the bad thing is that it's a little too sweet at the front of the mouth and sometimes leaves an aftertaste like disinfectant (though I guess any strong alcohol does). I like it now and then but moderation is key. girlie cocktails are fun and often novel, but cost more than they're worth; I only have them when out with a friend who prefers them.
posted by mdn at 11:04 AM on September 2, 2003

For the most part my drinks are dependant on what I'm doing.

With dinner, I tend to like a nice red wine, or a tasty beer. Chimay Grand Reserve, a pot of mussels, and I'm a happy man.

If I'm out at a hockey or basketball game, cheap beer and lots of it.

If I want a sipping drink, a snifter of grand marnier 150 year... it's one of the most delicious things on this planet.

At the bar it's either sapphire and tonic or tequila if they have a selection of good (non-cuervo) tequilas.

Pretty much the only "girly" drink I like is good champagne. I love Perrier-Jouet Fleur de Champagne. I'm honestly not sure why all champagne gets labelled as girly though, when the better stuff isn't sickly sweet carbonated alco-pop. The PJ is dry, refreshing and delicious.
posted by mosch at 11:04 AM on September 2, 2003

"Men like their drinks the way they like their pants: brown and plain."
I can't believe these words haven't already spilled out of the mouth of one of my cocktail buddies. God bless you, John Hodgman; and God bless you whiskey.
posted by car_bomb at 11:07 AM on September 2, 2003

is it me, or is this a pointless post?
posted by folktrash at 11:13 AM on September 2, 2003

"Men like their drinks the way they like their pants: brown and plain."

I prefer my pants blue, filthy and tight. I'm now gonna go unfasten my car's windsheild washer reservoir and have a kegger.
posted by jonmc at 11:15 AM on September 2, 2003

Real Men Brew Their Own Beer. Anyone who doesn't is a pussy.

Oh, and right-on about Maker's Mark, aladfar.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:16 AM on September 2, 2003

I prefer beer (Fuller's London Pride, Newcastle Brown Ale, and other English ales). When I'm not drinking beer I like easy-to-mix two-ingredient alcoholic drinks (rum-and-Coke, screwdriver) or red wine (price is no object, and not in a good way). I just recently started drinking scotch (and it's good scotch), and I'll drink vodka martinis, as much for the James Bond connection as for the taste. My mom's somewhat traumatizing second marriage was held on a boat in the Potomac River, and my brother and I drank all the Gran Marnier on the boat. I don't really have an official I'm-a-man cocktail. I'm not afraid of drinking "girly" drinks. I hate gin and all its works.

is it me, or is this a pointless post?

It's a MiguelCardoso post.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:18 AM on September 2, 2003

Gin and tonic is a gay drink? And I've been sending the wrong signal every time I place an order for the last twelve years? Is this another one of those cultural signifiers everybody knows but me?

I didn't know it either, ook. Good thing I mostly drink it at home.
posted by timeistight at 11:22 AM on September 2, 2003

I found out I drink like a gay, male ice-fisherman with a penchant for gangsta rap. 0 for 4. Cheers!
posted by G_Ask at 11:23 AM on September 2, 2003

Can we all agree that cirrhotic hemorrhage is more of a guy thing? And women are more likely to wander across the misty moors and over a cliff while plastered?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:24 AM on September 2, 2003

Can we all agree that cirrhotic hemorrhage is more of a guy thing? And women are more likely to wander across the misty moors and over a cliff while plastered?

Either way, what a romantic way to go, eh?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:25 AM on September 2, 2003

So rollin' down the street, smokin' indo and sippin' on gin and juice is no longer considered macho?
posted by arto at 11:27 AM on September 2, 2003

I'm stil trying to figure out what a Milk Mianto is male or female? one part Baileys, one part amaretto, one part vodka. You know, for those folks that are Irish, Italian, and Russian.
posted by notsnot at 11:43 AM on September 2, 2003

I'm no expert on the subject, but as I understand it as soon as alcohol hits a male's stomach, it begins to be broken down by some enzyme. This isn't the case for women, who don't posess the enzyme/chemical/thingy.

That's what I heard and I believe it to be true. Hic.
posted by Blue Stone at 11:56 AM on September 2, 2003

[shrugs, eats cherry]
posted by orange swan at 11:57 AM on September 2, 2003

This seems to support you a little bit, blue stone.
posted by stavrogin at 12:03 PM on September 2, 2003

Though, it doesn't matter to those of us who prefer a vodka enema.
posted by stavrogin at 12:09 PM on September 2, 2003

Well, amaretto is still for lesbians, right?

Interestingly, my journey into single malts was kick-started by a lovely lass. *raises one for BL*
posted by NortonDC at 12:32 PM on September 2, 2003

hits a male's stomach, it begins to be broken down by some enzyme.
Note, when you have had some food first. It has to do with how fast the alcohol will affect you or not.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:38 PM on September 2, 2003

It's all about gin and Brio Chinotto. It's the only way I'll drink that devilish juniper liqueur anymore.

And mai-tais shouldn't be a cocktail, let alone a "girly" cocktail, unless they're different from Chinese mai-tai, which is 75 proof sorghum liqueur drunk in shots by businessmen over there.
posted by Pseudoephedrine at 12:46 PM on September 2, 2003

will effect you
posted by thomcatspike at 12:51 PM on September 2, 2003

Thom, you were actually right the first time....

No need for you to self-edit. We love you au naturel.
posted by orange swan at 12:53 PM on September 2, 2003

I no longer drink--liked it too much--but the only thing I would not drink was plain vermouth...ugh...I note in passing that a lot of references or fears or tittering about gays and gayness in the comments, though not sure what this means.
posted by Postroad at 12:57 PM on September 2, 2003

lot of references or fears or tittering about gays and gayness in the comments, though not sure what this means.
Alcohol can make some folks happy.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:04 PM on September 2, 2003

hit post, arrg was going to add: tipsy happy
posted by thomcatspike at 1:06 PM on September 2, 2003

Forget the booze, go for the crackers.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:09 PM on September 2, 2003

is it me, or is this a pointless post?

Sssh—we don't say that when Miguel's in the room. It hurts his feelings.

I'd say only men like cereal-based, dry and unmixed overproof spirits.

Migs, you're quite wrong. You've clearly been hanging out with the wrong women.

Oh, and the thing about gin & tonic being a gay drink is bullshit. Too many of them and you reek of gin for a day and can't touch the stuff for a long time, though. (Uh, not that I'd know.)
posted by languagehat at 1:10 PM on September 2, 2003

What about MD 2020?

I don't drink anymore. Probably smart, since the incident when what I was told was rum and coke was actually Everclear and coke. If metatalk had a drink that'd be it.
posted by konolia at 1:13 PM on September 2, 2003

Everclear and coke. If metatalk had a drink that'd be it.

Fermented pony blood carefully layered on top of pancake batter. Served on fire, in a pint mug.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:16 PM on September 2, 2003

I think it's more of a style thing than a sexual orientation thing. I'm one of those "straight-acting" gay guys (a.k.a. "a slob"), and I prefer beer. A straight acquaintance of mine is a big gin-and-tonic fan. He's also a much more stylish dresser, and a general all-around artsy-fartsy guy (graphics designer). If you saw the two of us together, you'd assume he was the gay one in a heartbeat.
posted by me & my monkey at 1:36 PM on September 2, 2003

what's everclear?

i'm a screwdriver or beer gay guy, but i think simple 2-ingredient drinks (screwdrivers, vodka/grapefruit, rum/coke, jack/coke, g&t, etc) are probably the most popular among all people...
posted by amberglow at 1:43 PM on September 2, 2003

"Can we all agree that cirrhotic hemorrhage is more of a guy thing? And women are more likely to wander across the misty moors and over a cliff while plastered?" _PinkStainlessTail

Wonderful PinkST, and I thought Edward Gorey had died. Long live Edward!


Here I thought Everclear was the name of a band! What the hellizzit?
posted by alicesshoe at 1:50 PM on September 2, 2003

I'm one of those "straight-acting" gay guys

Really? I would think you wouldn't have something to hide. [/drumroll]

Ummm... I never much made the distinction along these lines when it came to alcohol, seeing as how I would drink pretty much anything. Usually as a college student my choice is most affected by what's on special.

If price is no object, I usually mix it up. My favorites are usually Tanqueray and tonic, White Russians, Margaritas (my own recipe), Whiskey/Bourbon/Scotch, Beer (just about any kind, though my favorites tend toward heavier stuff). But, I mean, I used to take it a bit to the extreme... my days of direct-from-the-bottle Southern Comfort and twenty-five or so beers are gone. I mean, I even got drunk on Zima once. (It's not as bad as you'd think... it's not really very sugary, so it doesn't weigh heavily on your stomach.)

Pretty much the only stuff I won't touch is Smirnoff Ice and its ilk, because they are too sugary, and they make you feel like... that word Ufez used.

p.s. Red Bull and Jagermeister is fun-- until the day after.


I guess the point of all of this is that I feel the gender distinction among cocktails is wildly overstated, and seems to be more of a theoretical construct than anything that actually happens when it comes what people like. (I mean, I know lots of women who drink lots of beer, too. So it's not just about me.)

On preview: Everclear is 190-proof grain alcohol.
posted by nath at 1:52 PM on September 2, 2003

I've got to beat a dead horse with the G and T. It really transcends sexual preference. What a great drink-- it tastes great and wards off malaria. I do think, however, that gin hangovers are the absolute worst. Especially that dull pain behind the eyes.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:02 PM on September 2, 2003

I'm not buying the booze by gender distinction either. My drinks of preference are hearty full bodied red wines, bombay sapphire martinis and good cognac...although I'll settle for average cognac in places that don't stock the good stuff. In my heavy drinking years, I favored Crown or Maker's Mark...straight. (in a dirty glass...aaargh!...ok, I made that part up.)
posted by dejah420 at 2:04 PM on September 2, 2003

I think my taste in drinks says nothing so much about my sex or orientation as it says "I spent a month in Germany and returned with a love of good beer."

I've found that young people who don't drink a lot will drink whatever tastes least like alcohol. I laugh at them.
posted by dagnyscott at 2:13 PM on September 2, 2003

Real Men Brew Their Own Beer.

I started a batch yesterday.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:22 PM on September 2, 2003

On preview: Everclear is 190-proof grain alcohol

Which tastes like jet fuel vodka. Do not make your jello shots with this stuff in place of water.
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:30 PM on September 2, 2003

My late uncle once got completely and totally pissed on the "Amnesia", a drink made by quaffing the first bit of a freshly-opened can of beer and replacing the lost beer volume with Everclear.

Evil, evil stuff.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:50 PM on September 2, 2003

Real Men Brew Their Own Beer.

Funny you should say that. You see, I live in Oregon, the last bastion for microbreweries in the US. We have everything here, especially in the home brewing sector.

About 6 months ago I came into brewing by finding local brew clubs and finding out what it was all about. Let me tell you these guys and girls are some of the most close knit people you would ever meet. I felt invited since day one.
The torch of home brewing must be passed to the younger generation (Yeah, that includes me) and with it the sense of creativity and understanding that comes from drinking your first home made dopplebock.

Want to be a brewer? First off, look around your local town to find a brewers guild. If you can't find one, thats ok. You can buy brewing supplies and parts online and read a great book. Anyone who knows anything about brewing will tell you Charlie Papazian is the de facto author of brewing, which just so happens that he is releasing his 3rd edition of the complete joy of home brewing on October 10th! (Link is for the old revision) Another stellar book is the Home brewers companion, although I would recommend reading this book after you have the basics down, which isn't hard to do.

All in all, I would say that brewing your own beer is an eye (and tastebud) opening experience. The science of beer is a very interesting one that is always open to discussion and new ideas so you are never "boxed in" to the same old recipes. Trust me, add a couple ounces of fine bud to your wheat ale and your head will be swimming in no time!

Thanks for your time, and heads up to the OBG!
posted by Keyser Soze at 3:09 PM on September 2, 2003

Hmm...there is some truth in all this - but it's not set in stone.

As my better half & I are sipping on a Taylor's port (her) & a Talisker (me)...

Her: No beer of any kind. Cider woman [starting in pints].
Cocktails: Definitely 'girly'. Choc, champagne, vodka, creamy + Long Island Ice Tea, Sea Breeze & Pimm's.
Likes single malt whisky but not keen on Talisker & Laphroaig (my regulars). Prefers the Macallan as mine are 'too kippery & strong-tasting'.

Me: Beer - anything good.
Cocktails: Limey/zingy/minty - Margarita, Mojito, Caipirinha, Pimm's, Sea Breeze. Always thought Whiskey/Whisky in cocktails was a waste until a previous thread got me trying Old Fashioneds. Now anything is worth a try if it is made well with good things.
Champagne, port (pref. with Stilton or Roquefort).
posted by i_cola at 3:20 PM on September 2, 2003

long island iced tea fucks you up.
posted by Keyser Soze at 3:31 PM on September 2, 2003

Everclear is 190-proof grain alcohol.

I'm here to tell you that if you drink 32 ounces of Koolaid made with grain alcohol, you will throw up blood.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:07 PM on September 2, 2003

Bender: "Hey bar keep, I'll have a fuzzy navel and she'll have the girliest drink in da house."

Bar Keeper: "Two fuzzy navels coming up!"
posted by Cyrano at 4:54 PM GMT on September 2

By far the best line in the thread.

Migs loves these provocative, lighthearted threads. They still don't mean anything tho (",)
posted by dash_slot- at 5:00 PM on September 2, 2003

Aggro - Ice cold straight shots of tequila or scotch (hate bourbon).

Neutral - Spaten lager.

Fruity - Stoli and pomegranate juice.
posted by Devils Slide at 5:20 PM on September 2, 2003

Everclear is this. Everclear can be lethal. Everclear tastes exactly like rubbing alcohol. Can be used with great success in Jungle Juice.
posted by Keyser Soze at 5:24 PM on September 2, 2003

I'm here as proof that 6 oz of grain alcohol (moonshine) on top of seven beers and a one-hitter and you'll be running through the streets of (St. Louis) mardi gras with your stuff exposed, screaming that you want crackers.
posted by notsnot at 5:28 PM on September 2, 2003

Pink Gin
That's Angastura bitters and GIN...
That's it & it aint poofy
posted by johnny7 at 5:33 PM on September 2, 2003

Angostura ..... Damn & shit...
Yeah gimme another
posted by johnny7 at 5:35 PM on September 2, 2003

My friends and I used to make the six-hour trip to Hyder, at the bottom of the Alaska panhandle, on a Saturday, to buy Everclear, then drive home, all a-celebratory, and hurt ourselves.

Everclear tip : follow a shot of Everclear with a drink of water, to protect those sensitive membranes from blistering.

You can drink everclear until four in the morning, sleep for two hours, then go teach as a high school sub teacher. This alone makes it worth the potential lethality.

Also, I have been informed that vodka & tonic is a foo-foo drink, at least in Australia, but I do love it, for a change, once in a while.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:48 PM on September 2, 2003

When all else fails, vanilla extract and witch hazel work well for us gents. Nail Polish Remover will get a nice buzz for the chicks.

>hic<

Actually, if you order anything besides a shot an/or a beer in my presence, you risk being asked if you pee standing up or sitting down. In my case the shot is usually bourbon of some kind, tequila if I'm feeling festive. In a bar the beer is Guiness or Brooklyn Lager, at home it's Schlitz, cause it's only $6 a 12 pack, which makes anything taste better, 'specially the more you drink.
posted by jonmc at 6:30 PM on September 2, 2003

Four bottles of Fat Tire Amber Ale in the course of reading this thread.

This guy. This is the guy.
posted by botono9 at 6:35 PM on September 2, 2003

ok, i'm sold...someone bring everclear to the next nyc meetup
posted by amberglow at 7:35 PM on September 2, 2003

preferably in an ambulance.
posted by jonmc at 7:36 PM on September 2, 2003

Amberglow, you will be making offerings to the god of porcelain if you do. Trust me on this one.
posted by konolia at 7:41 PM on September 2, 2003

i'm game--i'll even buy it if they sell it here : >
(and i'm not unfamiliar with the god you speak of)
posted by amberglow at 7:46 PM on September 2, 2003

No doubt you are also familiar with the act of speaking to god on the big white telephone then, amberglow?

Does that fact that I hate beer of any description make me less of a man? Does drinking Scotch & Dry almost exclusively make up for that at all? When in Korea, I love to drink Soju, but it does not taste the same here for some reason. I suspect that where you drink has some effect on what you drink and how it affects you.
posted by dg at 8:30 PM on September 2, 2003

a recent study conducted by the american water works association found that ones choice of lawn sprinkling apparatus is highly correlated with sexual preference. the vast majority of heterosexual lawn caregivers were found to own and operate the standard oscillating unit. among homosexuals sprinkling preferences varied widely, for example, many dancers choose whirling models while more arty/crafty individuals opted for ornamental or thematic units. data on bisexuals was inconclusive. interestingly, the presence of the geek gene seems to nullify sexual orientation in sprinkler provisioning: nerds invariably opted for wireless and orbitally-controlled systems no matter what they enjoy humping. while the data points are interesting, and may ultimately help us to understand the human sexual drive, one thing becomes clear - no matter your sexual preference, humans enjoy a good squirt and are having fun with irrigation.
posted by quonsar at 8:44 PM on September 2, 2003

Ha ha! You just say that because the doctors have wisely stopped your drinking. No, that was absolutely brilliant, quonsar - much better than I'd ever be able to do! :)

*affection tinged with envy*
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:49 PM on September 2, 2003

Regarding the earlier mention of Jungle Juice: As college students, my roommates and I have observed that when guys through a party, often the alcohol selection is beer (for the guys) and jungle juice (for the girls, who by stereotype do not like beer). And so they make the jungle juice very, very strong. Which tastes very, very bad. Actually, it tastes like strong cough syrup, which isn't something you want to drink by the glass. Nice strategy, college boys, but it didn't fool us.
posted by katieinshoes at 9:00 PM on September 2, 2003

went to a Hairy Buffalo in party college. similar to jungle juice i guess. i think it consisted of everclear, sprite, koolaid, and several tubs of sherbert. each guest was asked to bring of bottle of alcohol (their choice) to be dumped into the bucket. not the whole bottle but just enough to kick up the potency. the keeper of the bucket would then add more mixers accordingly so all you could basically taste was the koolaid and sherbert.

i think my contribution was MD 20/20 (the red kind). infact i know it was cause that's all i drank in college.
posted by goddam at 9:31 PM on September 2, 2003

which isn't something you want to drink by the glass

Is this why I've always seen JJ served from a garbage can, then?
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:32 PM on September 2, 2003

Re: Everclear.

Come back from Carl's Jr. with a ridiculously huge cup of root beer. Drink half, and replace half of what you drank with everclear. Then drink more than is healthy because, for whatever reason, the root beet covers the everclear perfectly.
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 10:08 PM on September 2, 2003

In my book, it's not what you drink but how much. I've seen some "ladies" that could go hard core, and it didn't matter what they were drinking. Gay or not, you slam back 12 gin and tonics and still win at volleyball, you're all right by me.
posted by sharpener at 10:27 PM on September 2, 2003

Any man who doesn't drink a Cape Cod is queer as a one dollar bill.
posted by Dagobert at 11:47 PM on September 2, 2003

Let's see, since this is now turning into a "what's the weirdest/most ghetto thing you ever drank" thread:

Take a bunch of red wine--it needn't be expensive, a cheap-but-good merlot, valpolicella or chianti will do. Open as usual--should you require a corkscrew, Mr. Cardoso is due soon to start a thread detailing the nicest such implement $500 will buy--and dump into three or four Slurpees. Drink through the straw provided, in the back of a twenty-year-old Volvo, on the way to Warped Tour.

Take a quantity of generic Kool-Aid clone, mix with vodka. Drink with a cannabis dealer who calls the resulting concoction "Scoop N' Puke."

Take a large watermelon. Ball it, or if you must, dice it, immerse the resulting fruity bits in vodka, 151 rum, or pretty much anything else with a suitable alcohol content. Let it sit in the fridge for a week[*] and ferment. Eat the resulting concoction--known in the parlance of the times as Yukaflux--while coming down from *ahem* a natural high at a rural hippie festival, preferably one far enough north that the Aurora Borealis fills a substantial portion of the sky.

Oh, and jonmc--you need to try some of this, if only for the name.

[*] or maybe a lot less than that? I've never actually made it, just eaten it... oh, and Google seems to think vodka is the One True Spirit permissible, but I think rum would work wonders.
posted by arto at 2:40 AM on September 3, 2003

Oregon, the last bastion for microbreweries in the US.

Huh? I didn't know they were a dying breed. We have a few around here.

And I'll give another plug for Alternative Beverage home-brewing supplies. They've been in business since 1973. I've lived all over the South East, but I've always ordered from these guys. I was in their store over the weekend, and they talked me into (OK, I allowed myself to be talked into) buying a wine-making set up. It's a very hands-on business -- the guys use all the equipment they sell, and they've developed their own line of recipe packages. Good stuff.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:41 AM on September 3, 2003

As a tip to archivers who see stavros' Everclear and water tip: he's joking. You'd have to be fucking daft to miss that. The only water I ever mixed with Everclear was about a hundred punds of ice in a booze luge back in college (with a drunken frat boy not paying attention as I got a mouthful of *only* 160 proof). It ain't so bad.

151 rum on top of a shot of amaretto. Light said on fire. Drop in beer. Chug all. Tastes like Dr. Pepper. You won't think it does anything until you have #2.
posted by yerfatma at 10:18 PM on September 5, 2003