It puts the lotion in the basket!

September 4, 2003 2:45 PM

If you've ever wanted to own a Subterranean Fortress in the Pacific Northwest but didn't want to spend 14 years digging out and building one, your opportunity has arrived at last, priced at only $259,000. Conveniently located underneath a nondescript suburban home, you can use the shelter for fun, play, or surviving nuclear holocaust. Or, if you've seen Silence of the Lambs, you may have other ideas for possible uses.
posted by jonson (33 comments total)

jonson puts the lotion on its skin, or else he gets the hose again.
posted by Ljubljana at 2:56 PM on September 4, 2003

what you are about to see was dug by one man and his shovel

I was just about to slap my $250k down and then I read that.
posted by carfilhiot at 2:58 PM on September 4, 2003

almost as cool as this abandoned missile base tour.
posted by lsd4all at 3:09 PM on September 4, 2003

Your children would love you for living in this house.

And it might make a good recording studio. I want it.
posted by weston at 3:20 PM on September 4, 2003

lsd4all, I assume you saw the comparison between the Subterannean Fortress and the Silo home?
posted by jonson at 3:27 PM on September 4, 2003

I was thinking about a different Jodie Foster movie.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 3:33 PM on September 4, 2003

I remember seeing this home on metafilter years ago (I think). Was it sold and now someone is selling it again, or has it been for sale all this time? Does anyone else remember it being posted here back in 2000 or so? It would be interesting if someone bought it back then and is now re-selling it, I wonder why they didn't like it?
posted by cell divide at 3:39 PM on September 4, 2003

And the nuclear war never came... What a shame it is that this man missed the opportunity to actually use his life's work.
posted by hoskala at 3:42 PM on September 4, 2003

Anyone have a link to the Silo home?
posted by xmutex at 3:47 PM on September 4, 2003

Hmmm, he'll be safe from mutant, post-nuclear computer viruses on account of the anti-virus software stored in the EMP-proof computer room.

Seriously though, I want one of these. Badly. I'm not *that* paranoid, I just, you know, like my peace and quiet.

Too much time in basement apartments, I guess.
posted by stet at 4:10 PM on September 4, 2003

Dunno about the bunker - but the San Juan Islands area looks beautiful.
posted by carter at 4:27 PM on September 4, 2003

I remember seeing this home on metafilter years ago (I think).

I think this is a different place.
posted by thirteen at 4:27 PM on September 4, 2003

Real Estate listing for the house. The house is literally on the border to Canada.
posted by Xoc at 4:41 PM on September 4, 2003

The rest of the owner's site is interesting too, if you're into semi-paranoid conspiracy theories.
posted by Johnny Assay at 4:48 PM on September 4, 2003

Actually, that site looks like it belongs to the owner's son. Only semi-paranoid?
posted by Gamecat at 5:05 PM on September 4, 2003

I remember watching the History Channel segment on this shelter some weeks back. Dr. Snyder, if I recall correctly, had little or no background in construction when he began his project, and yet managed to successfully craft the shelter without raising the curiosity of friends and neighbors. His family hinted that there were additional layout details secret enough they weren't to be revealed on-camera. Of course, they most likely involved its primary function of keeping anything outside from getting inside.

It's no wonder that the segment made me think of this.
posted by LinusMines at 5:18 PM on September 4, 2003

Strangely, it didn't make me think of this but now that Gamecat says the owner has a son....hmmm.
posted by m@ at 5:45 PM on September 4, 2003

How can this thing be cheaper than my 96 year old, decrepit, disintegrating hovel in an Oakland ghetto most noted for its drive-by shootings, Bubb Rubb of "woo woo!" fame, proximity to a former parking lot for "nuclear wessels," and NFL-derived riots? What did the guy make it out of, paper? Or is the quarter mil just for his scale model of the place?
posted by majick at 5:52 PM on September 4, 2003

And after looking at the realtor's listing -- it's bigger than my little wooden deathtrap, too? Insult to injury.

Maybe it's because of the dangerous proximity of Canadia?
posted by majick at 5:57 PM on September 4, 2003

He's selling it at 50% off, according to the link. Maybe he needs to money to build a rocketship to escape to the moon on.
posted by jonson at 5:57 PM on September 4, 2003

caveat emptor boobytraps...
posted by dorian at 6:31 PM on September 4, 2003

This site looks as if it belonged to the former owner himself.
posted by dal211 at 6:34 PM on September 4, 2003

Not a target? That dining room looks like it already got hit by a ten megaton airburst of bad fucking taste.
posted by stonerose at 7:15 PM on September 4, 2003

> He's selling it at 50% off, according to the link

Heh, laid-off cold warrior needs money. Blames commies.
posted by skallas at 7:34 PM on September 4, 2003

Did anyone else get a kick out of the dinky little hook-and-eye latch on the 1,000 pound cement door? For that matter, why do you need a 1,000 pound cement door for your potty?
posted by yhbc at 7:40 PM on September 4, 2003

why do you need a 1,000 pound cement door for your potty?

Uhhh... you have a roommate who likes Guinness and spicy chicken wings?
posted by stonerose at 7:50 PM on September 4, 2003

i just like the fact that it goes 40 feet down and the toilets still run into the sewer system. Unless the whole system is gravity fed and goes straight into the beautifal waters (i doubt it) he's going to have some serious back up problems when the end of hte world occurs (forget about vagrants getting in his house, he needs to worry about the poop getting in (or out))
posted by NGnerd at 9:01 PM on September 4, 2003

I want it...I want it a lot. If I had it, I'd be half of the way to evil supervillain...

White fluffy cat - check
Secret Lair - check

All I'd be missing is an army of goons and some over the top plan to take over the world using nothing more than 3 naked midgets, a stick of butter and a tangerine.
posted by dejah420 at 9:02 PM on September 4, 2003

YOU FOOL, dejah! It's impossible to take over the world with 3 naked midgets, a stick of butter, and a tangerine! Every true supervillian knows to spring for the tangelos! They may not look like much, but they've got it where it counts.

And it's more successful all around to have 1 naked midget and 3 sticks of butter, trust me on this.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:25 PM on September 4, 2003

HAHA! I laugh at your tangelos and raise the stakes to...Naval Oranges! Ha! Fear my citrusy armada of doom!
posted by dejah420 at 7:51 AM on September 5, 2003

The strong have no need for butter and midgets, Bow down to me and my Ugly Fruit and I will spare your lives.
posted by m@ at 9:06 AM on September 5, 2003

I scoff at your tangelos and naval oranges. I have Meyer Lemons and key limes! Beat that!

Oh, I also have an EMP safe bathroom. You know, so that the beams can't get to me when I'm in the shower.
posted by Dreama at 9:07 AM on September 5, 2003

I have an EPMD safe bathroom - if their music ever comes back in vogue, I plan to hide in the shower.
posted by jonson at 1:03 PM on September 5, 2003