August 11, 2000

6:04 AM

Man kills self and injures fiancée in wood chipper. (reg req)Phoenix police said Rodriguez told his new fiancée he had a surprise for her early Wednesday, drove her to the central Phoenix landscaping business where he worked and asked that she close her eyes and lie down. Then he lay down beside her, on what turned out to be a conveyor belt, and fed himself into a wood chipper .. more
posted by chrish (16 comments total)

In my best Church Lady voice, "Well isn't that special!"
posted by quirked at 6:40 AM on August 11, 2000

Youch.

*Ghod* that's ugly.
posted by baylink at 7:02 AM on August 11, 2000

It takes a special kind of idiot to attempt a murder-suicide in the wrong order. That has to be this year's frontrunner for the Darwin Award.
posted by rcade at 7:33 AM on August 11, 2000

I couldn't believe they say it's the second apparent suicide-by-wood-chipper in the Phoenix valley this year.

I mean, how many people would choose THAT to kill themselves ... anywhere?!

ps. cypherpunk/cypherpunk works.
posted by dhartung at 7:46 AM on August 11, 2000

What a way to go, reminds me of a story about a guy easing himself into a vat of molten iron.
Might be time to ban wood chippers.
posted by thirteen at 7:47 AM on August 11, 2000 [1 favorite has favorites]

Just *thinking* about this depresses me. What is this fascination with *painful* means of suicide?

Or is it just the effect it will have on everyone after...?
posted by baylink at 8:04 AM on August 11, 2000

Baylink: I read something about that once. As I recall, it is a way of punishing yourself, ie: I deserve to suffer, and it won't last too long. I have a friend who used to develop crime scene photos for the city. He told me about some pictures he processed of a guy who commited suicide by fixing the controls of a steam roller to drive in a circle, and then he sat down in its path. It kept running him over until it ran out of fuel. I have always believed that the stupidest people would be the greatest torturers, maybe it carries over to suicide as well.
posted by thirteen at 8:11 AM on August 11, 2000 [2 favorites has favorites]

"so, i guess that was your accomplice in the woodchipper, there..."
posted by bluishorange at 8:41 AM on August 11, 2000

I would have to repeat dhartung's sentiments about the fact that this is the second suicide by wood chipper in the same area! Wow. It's not as if "wood chipper" is very high on the list of most popular ways to kill yourself..... And it's just plain icky. I'm glad "Cops" wasn't filming that particular call....
posted by elf_baby at 9:03 AM on August 11, 2000

That's just the funniest damn thing I've heard today.
posted by Nyarlathotep at 9:07 AM on August 11, 2000

This is almost exactly the same as a sketch in a TV show called Jam that was playing a few months ago. In the sketch, the guy had the woodchipper set up outside his girlfriend's house, shouted until she looked out from the upstairs window and then fired himself at her through the woodchipper. But you got the impression he only meant this to damage her psychologically, not physically.

You used to be able to download Jam stuff from here, but I think downloads aren't working at the moment. Some of the reviews are quite funny though.
posted by Mocata at 9:13 AM on August 11, 2000

Hey that's pretty good! I might have to try that.
posted by donkeymon at 10:22 AM on August 11, 2000

If I ever used a wood chipper to do myself in, I'd be sure to wear socks as an homage to Steve Buscemi
posted by mathowie at 10:25 AM on August 11, 2000

My wife had a good question: How did the police so quickly determine that he pushed himself in and then tried to pull her behind him? What about the possibility that she pushed him in?
posted by rcade at 12:58 PM on August 11, 2000

I believe the other side of the wood chipper "sprays" the new cuttings straight out. (Can't continue). and not much left for the Local Organ Donor Program.
posted by Almac at 5:12 PM on August 11, 2000

OMG! That is just plain disgusting! Imagine being his wife and seeing your husband all chopped up! Ewww! :*(
posted by FAB4GIRL at 12:11 PM on August 13, 2000