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sell your soul
September 9, 2003 7:43 PM   Subscribe

if you haven't already sold it on ebay, WeWantYourSoul.com will analyze your lifestyle and make you an cash offer for your eternal soul.
posted by crunchland (51 comments total)

 
mine is worth about $19k.
posted by crunchland at 7:44 PM on September 9, 2003


10,000 pounds. So is it worth more or less if you're a wretched sinner?
posted by Jimbob at 7:50 PM on September 9, 2003


£18290.

Check me out! One pure soul for sale! Do I hear any higher offers?
posted by Salmonberry at 7:52 PM on September 9, 2003


£47944.

Beat that.
posted by angry modem at 8:01 PM on September 9, 2003


To my confusion and regret, £39605. Unhappily, though, I sold it at a garage sale for $2.50 (CDN) last Saturday morning, along with a trade copy of "On The Road."

But what's this business about owning a mobile phone? And since when does owning an Apple have the same number of Karma points as buying Microsoft?
posted by stonerose at 8:08 PM on September 9, 2003


do you eat on a regular basis at any of the following food outlets: Macodnalds, KFC, Burger King, Pizza Hut, starbucks

...
do you read any of the following periodicals: Sun, Mail, Sport, Star, Mirror

...

do you own a mobile phone?

...

We guarantee that we will not give out your details to any other companies.

Yeah, right.
posted by Eloquence at 8:09 PM on September 9, 2003


currency converter
posted by crunchland at 8:10 PM on September 9, 2003


£7,700. Crap. Mine is worth less than half of any of yours, less than a sixth of angry modem. And he's ANGRY! Why would you want an angry soul, it's tired and used up?
posted by jonson at 8:11 PM on September 9, 2003


£14602

Wow.
posted by RubberHen at 8:12 PM on September 9, 2003


14573 pounds.

I guess i'll let mine appreciate for 40 years to fund my retirement...condos in boca are cheap, right?
posted by amberglow at 8:16 PM on September 9, 2003


£9708
posted by quonsar at 8:22 PM on September 9, 2003


Every time I see this gimmick I become more and more afraid that this time it will be real. Call me an idiot if you will, but I'm almost certain that this is how I would orchestrate things if I were Satan.
posted by mmcg at 8:22 PM on September 9, 2003


97% of people have a purer soul than you.
posted by supershauna at 8:25 PM on September 9, 2003


7340 british pounds or 11676.50 usd.

snif. where did i go wrong? i never eat at mcdonalds!
posted by sugarfish at 8:36 PM on September 9, 2003


£47944.

Beat that.

£19350, Likely because I do.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:41 PM on September 9, 2003


Errr..... £58694? That can't be right.
posted by samw at 8:41 PM on September 9, 2003


My Dark Masters have informed me that they find all this very amusing. Why pay for something you already own?
posted by UncleFes at 8:45 PM on September 9, 2003


samw wins...try and sell it to them and see if they buy : >
posted by amberglow at 8:46 PM on September 9, 2003


£19515. I didn't know I was such a paragon of virtue. Of course, they didn't ask about the bodies ...
posted by moonbiter at 8:58 PM on September 9, 2003


Sorry. I sold my soul for rock and roll.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:30 PM on September 9, 2003


36799. 10% of people are purer than I. Somehow, I find this frightening. I didn't think I was all that well behaved.
posted by stoneegg21 at 10:00 PM on September 9, 2003


My soul is worth £11454, and 64% of you are purer than me. I knew I should never have been baptized.
posted by mosch at 10:42 PM on September 9, 2003


£30422 with 17% purer.
posted by dobbs at 10:44 PM on September 9, 2003


has anyone gone further than just getting the initial offer?
posted by crunchland at 10:53 PM on September 9, 2003


Damn. Gave some answers on that quiz I'd like to explain away...

Have you ever consulted a mystic, medium, tarot reader or similar?
I was working as a 'Producer' for a Radio Talk Show host and I decided to give a few psychics I was booking for his show a "test drive". For Entertainment Purposes Only.

have you ever been employed in any of the following occupations: estate/rental agent, advertising agency, car/life insurance company?
I was a Commissions Accountant for a Life Insurance company that went very publicly belly-up. When they got flooded with phone calls asking about whether their Lifetime Annuities were worth more than two cents, everybody in Accounting had to put in two hours a day on the phones to say "Nobody knows... call back next month". I think I did my time in Hell for whatever sins I committed there...

do you watch any of the following news channels: Fox, MSNBC, CNN, SKY
Keith Olbermann's show on MSNBC 'cause I think he's funnier that Jon Stewart... that's all!!! (And I read GaelFC's work blog on their site... c'mon, that shouldn't count!!!)

My soul is worth £9648, which converted to dollars will pay off less than half of my credit card and medical debts.
In other words, "sorry WWYS but I can't go, I already sold my soul to Capital One"...
posted by wendell at 10:57 PM on September 9, 2003


No, before I sell them my soul, I want to know what they plan on doing with it. Will I still be able to walk through automatic doors?
posted by Jimbob at 11:00 PM on September 9, 2003


has anyone gone further than just getting the initial offer?

Quoting the site:
Did you know that you can increase the purity of your soul by purchasing one simple product?
To find out what this life changing item is click Here.


It's a record promotion.

In other words, Satan really IS behind it.
posted by wendell at 11:03 PM on September 9, 2003


Oh god, it's a DJ.
posted by Jimbob at 11:07 PM on September 9, 2003


oh my. I feel so ... used.
posted by crunchland at 11:14 PM on September 9, 2003


32470 and I for one welcome our soul selling brethren.
posted by Dagobert at 11:23 PM on September 9, 2003


I'm rich!

Your soul is worth £52807. For your peace of mind, 5% of people have a purer soul than you.
posted by cinderful at 11:31 PM on September 9, 2003


Well, let's see . . . £167,206 if I lie my ass off, or £32,764 if I answer honestly.

But, since I'm selling my soul anyway, what's one more little transgression? Either way, I'm not giving up "indulging in autoeroticism." There are some things money just can't buy . . .
posted by wdpeck at 12:07 AM on September 10, 2003


£23628 for me...but theres a problem....I already own the record!

Its a blinding tune by the way...so good it went on a recent mix tape....sort of a funky breaky thing with a huuuge Bill Hicks sample in it...
posted by mattr at 12:18 AM on September 10, 2003


Your soul is worth £33449. For your peace of mind, 13% of people have a purer soul than you.
posted by Eirixon at 12:26 AM on September 10, 2003


Its a blinding tune by the way...so good it went on a recent mix tape....sort of a funky breaky thing with a huuuge Bill Hicks sample in it...
Sounds good, I think I'll download it from Kazaa. That'll probably knock a few pence of my soul (£17476).
posted by chill at 2:25 AM on September 10, 2003


The tune is great-- and the video ain't bad either.
posted by Uncle Ira at 3:06 AM on September 10, 2003


Your soul is worth £39349. For your peace of mind, 9% of people have a purer soul than you. although I hesitated at the "autoerotic" question -- does that mean what I think it means?
posted by evening at 5:19 AM on September 10, 2003


Your soul is worth £42912. For your peace of mind, 7% of people have a purer soul than you.

That's a depressing thought, somehow.
posted by jonmc at 6:20 AM on September 10, 2003


evening, your valuation should be higher.
posted by taz at 6:22 AM on September 10, 2003


But, since I'm selling my soul anyway, what's one more little transgression? Either way, I'm not giving up "indulging in autoeroticism." There are some things money just can't buy.

Except, you know, alternatives to autoeroticism. Just sayin'. You don't have a soul by then anyway.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:43 AM on September 10, 2003


Your soul is worth £19389. For your peace of mind, 37% of people have a purer soul than you.

Bah, those people don't know a bargain when they see one.
posted by orange swan at 6:46 AM on September 10, 2003


£7,700. Crap. Mine is worth . . . less than a sixth of angry modem. And he's ANGRY!

That gives this away as a fake. angrymodem obviously has no soul.

-do you eat on a regular basis at any of the following food outlets: Macodnalds, KFC, Burger King, Pizza Hut, starbucks
-are you member of blockbuster video?
-do you own a mobile phone?
-have you ever been employed in any of the following occupations: estate/rental agent, advertising agency, car/life insurance company?


No No No No! Obviously I should be a saint! Why is my soul worth less than crunchland's? (Then again, they got me on theft and LSD...)

evening, your valuation should be higher.

I vote definite sainthood for evening. Or something.
posted by Shane at 6:50 AM on September 10, 2003


I, personally, owe my soul to the company store.
posted by vraxoin at 7:01 AM on September 10, 2003


Your soul is worth £7341. For your peace of mind, 86% of people have a purer soul than you. i'm way too evil.
posted by carfilhiot at 9:06 AM on September 10, 2003


after reviewing everyone elses posts, it starts to make sense. you guys need to get out and have some fun more often! sheeesh.
posted by carfilhiot at 9:13 AM on September 10, 2003


£28646, 23% of people have a purer soul. Not too shabby. I'm already content with not being enlightened in this lifetime. My goal is to come back as a cat, so any more saintliness would mess that up.

It would be amusing to see the logic behind this. I definitely get the sold soul already to insurance companies bit, thus rendering it used and quite depreciated, but how does thinking you're overweight count? What if you are, but have happy, buddha belly fat? Is this a per pound bonus or discount?
posted by dness2 at 10:08 AM on September 10, 2003


Mine said, 'Stop messing with the curve Satan!'.
posted by tcaleb at 10:33 AM on September 10, 2003


What, was I the only person to come in at the 2nd percentile with under L4000 and 98% of respondents "more pure"? That's, what, barely 6,000 actual moneys.
posted by majick at 11:10 AM on September 10, 2003


Too late. Already sold mine to Milhouse for 5 bucks.
posted by keswick at 3:42 PM on September 10, 2003


78116 pounds!!!...only 3% purer than me...

Of course I wonder if that is a little outdated...I mean Mother Teresa is dead now, Surely that should read 2% purer than me


:)
posted by Civa at 8:44 PM on September 10, 2003


coming back a little late, and I see I should be a Saint! wow! except I'm not sure why (because I'm not sure what they meant by autoerotic? that could mean that I just look or it could mean "I touch myself" which is what I ultimately decided they meant)

and if it means what I think it means, I'm def. a bad girl! :)
posted by evening at 8:42 AM on September 11, 2003


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