Poop Stories

September 13, 2003 11:42 PM

Poop Stories.
posted by PrinceValium (18 comments total)

So I quickly jumped out the car -- and thank God I was wearing tights, because I could pull them down rather quickly. I squatted, right in front of my boyfriend, clenched my buttcheeks with my hands as my asshole opened the diameter of a tennis ball and unleashed my stinky brown load.

OK, I am officially shocked that this site exists. Porn, dissent, sex, blogs, war, terrorism - sure, they exist and have homes on the web. But this - no pun intended, but *holy shit*.
posted by davidmsc at 11:46 PM on September 13, 2003

And this site is on metafilter why?
posted by rough ashlar at 11:53 PM on September 13, 2003

for me to poop on.
posted by cohappy at 11:57 PM on September 13, 2003

what a crap post.

i can't believe there are assholes out there who are into this shit.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 12:05 AM on September 14, 2003

I'd add...

*rim shot*

...but somebody might get the wrong idea.
posted by wendell at 12:07 AM on September 14, 2003

hey, at least he didn't find a way to work ratemypoo.com into the fpp.

say that riminds me, there used to be a zine called I LIKE POO but it wasn't *entirely* about poo. i think it only lasted 5 issues.

different strokes...
posted by dobbs at 12:41 AM on September 14, 2003

The pope is pooped, and he's not out of the woods yet.
posted by HTuttle at 12:41 AM on September 14, 2003

hey, at least he didn't find a way to work ratemypoo.com into the fpp.

Gak. Thanks for the visual.
posted by PrinceValium at 12:50 AM on September 14, 2003

HORSESHIT
posted by angry modem at 1:12 AM on September 14, 2003

dobbs, shame on you for linking to ratemypoo.com - I dont think i've ever seen anything more disgusting
posted by gregb1007 at 1:27 AM on September 14, 2003

splish splash
posted by madamjujujive at 4:36 AM on September 14, 2003

Just in time! I was getting bored with Doodie!
posted by thrakintosh at 6:23 AM on September 14, 2003

More poop stories.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:26 AM on September 14, 2003

poo haiku
posted by adampsyche at 6:33 AM on September 14, 2003

I've stumbled across this site perhaps once every several months for the past few years.

On one level it's disturbing, because some people are WAY too much into it.. but on another level, you begin to realize that your own possibly weird bowel habits or motions aren't really all that weird after all.

I think a lot of people can't talk about toilet troubles, and if there's a site out there and a bunch of people mention the same thing you're having problems with.. it's better that it's out there on the Web than having someone getting all fret up about it.
posted by wackybrit at 9:14 AM on September 14, 2003

dobbs, shame on you for linking to

hate to break it to you gregb1007, but I didn't link to it. i mentioned it the same way you did. then, you decided to type it into your browser. (for the record, I've never looked at it. the url is kind of self-explanatory, no?)
posted by dobbs at 10:23 AM on September 14, 2003

If you're into this, er, genre, the funniest I've ever read is Jonathan Ames's "I Shit My Pants in the South of France." It's not online, alas, but you can read it in his book What's Not to Love? Ames says:

Like Jack Benny, but in a literary way, I often do the same routine now whenever I give readings. I have two essays from my book What's Not to Love? that are always crowd-pleasers, so I recite them repeatedly. Their titles are self-explanatory: "Bald, Impotent, and Depressed," and "I Shit My Pants in the South of France."

Since I'll be in Montreal, I'll probably read my Francophile essay. Before doing so, I'll make my usual apology, which goes like this: "I've come to notice that the world is divided between those who like scatological humor and those who don't. For those of you who don't, please try to see my story as a tale of hubris, of excessive pride, and that diarrhea is merely a metaphor for loss and the vanquishing of ego."

I have to say, ever since I penned that South of France piece, I've received the most incredible confessions from people about their bowels. One man told me of heroically getting to a restaurant toilet in time, but then exploding before he could get his pants off. We all know that moment of terror, but most of us survive. This guy didn't. Well, the poor fellow wanted to take off his pants and try to clean himself up, but he was idiotically wearing military boots and managed to knot the laces and couldn't pull his pants over his shoes! He was stuck in the stall and had to ask another person in the bathroom to get him a steak knife so he could cut through his laces.

posted by languagehat at 11:46 AM on September 14, 2003

Geez people, it's only shit you know. Utta Pippig suffered from terrible diarrhea during the Boston marathon in '96, live on television in front of millions of people. She still won the race. Yeah if you're into these stories you are a little weird, but the stories themselves aren't dirty.
posted by carfilhiot at 2:14 PM on September 14, 2003