RIAA Phone Prank

September 15, 2003 8:37 PM

A prankster turns himself into the RIAA:
JH: Hello. I just downloaded some illegal MP3s and my friend told me that the RAII is going to sue everyone who downloads music. What should I do?
RIAA: Hold on just a sec.
posted by Inkslinger (25 comments total)

Er, "in to". Not "into". That would be a trick.
posted by Inkslinger at 8:39 PM on September 15, 2003

RIAA: Has your service provider told you that you've been subpoenaed?
JH: A penis?
RIAA: [Long pause] What?
JH: You asked if my service provider told me I have a penis?
RIAA: Have you been issued a subpoena?

*ROFL*
posted by quonsar at 8:46 PM on September 15, 2003

I read that whole thing, even up to where he starts mailing underwear to individual bands, and I really wanted to like it. Great premise, but ... enh.
posted by yhbc at 8:48 PM on September 15, 2003

where's the mp3?
posted by carfilhiot at 9:01 PM on September 15, 2003

Had no idea that ZUG was "the world's only comedy site." Does this mean the Onion is all true?
posted by hairyeyeball at 9:33 PM on September 15, 2003

Hahahaha! Dude! The RIAA is suing people for downloading songs! Man, we gotta get them back! But how can we both lampoon gigantic corporations that are suing 12 year olds while still bring a cogent defense of our stealing? Only one way dude! PENIS JOKES!
posted by mr. man at 9:37 PM on September 15, 2003

This is humor?
posted by jdroth at 9:42 PM on September 15, 2003

the spirit was there. execution lacked a bit.
posted by sharpener at 9:47 PM on September 15, 2003

Had no idea that ZUG was "the world's only comedy site."
I think they accidenally dropped a word between "only" and "comedy"... like maybe "humorless"?

No, there are plenty other of those, too...
posted by wendell at 10:08 PM on September 15, 2003

hrm, I thought it was funny.
posted by delmoi at 10:22 PM on September 15, 2003

APPLE: Which screen are you looking at?

JH: My computer screen.

APPLE: No, I mean, what does your screen say?

JH: It says "Larger Balls and Penis, More Satisfaction."

APPLE: I'm sorry?
posted by cameldrv at 10:33 PM on September 15, 2003

cameldrv, you just saved this thread. In the worst (best) possible way.
posted by Samsonov14 at 10:36 PM on September 15, 2003

Maybe when i get home i'll open my ftp for Beethoven's 5th symphony.
posted by Keyser Soze at 10:56 PM on September 15, 2003

Samson, it's from the link.
posted by Espoo2 at 11:01 PM on September 15, 2003

yhbc, I felt the same. It really wants to be funny, but for some reason just isn't.
posted by dg at 12:26 AM on September 16, 2003

"maybe when i get home i'll open my ftp for Beethoven's 5th symphony"

if it's 320 kbps, please by all means do
posted by matteo at 1:56 AM on September 16, 2003

Cameldrv, thanks. First big laugh of the morning.
posted by ciderwoman at 3:18 AM on September 16, 2003

More people should be calling them...
posted by hoskala at 3:32 AM on September 16, 2003

more funny people should be calling them....
posted by dabitch at 3:38 AM on September 16, 2003

JH: Could you hum the songs to me?

APPLE: NO.

Correction. This guy is a genius.
posted by hoskala at 3:46 AM on September 16, 2003

JH: I don't want an Apple. They're too heavy.

APPLE: We have some light ones too, like an iBook.

JH: I heard that iBooks can only be used in Starbucks.
posted by signal at 6:38 AM on September 16, 2003

Zug has some great writing on it. The stories about the six years John spent in an Ohio state prison are some of the best stuff on the web.
posted by bondcliff at 7:41 AM on September 16, 2003

Following the RIAA's directions to musicunited.org I was treated to possibly the best "Giant Corporations Stand United" website ever. Thank goodness it very clearly explained to me why no one should ever download music -- (a) it's stealing! (b) stealing is wrong but, most importantly (c) it's illegal and YOU could be sued!

I also enjoyed the little Clean Slate Program (.pdf link) they've developed, which would encourage average people to fill out forms, get them notarized, and then send all of their personal contact information directly to the RIAA for future reference.
posted by dryad at 8:01 AM on September 16, 2003

Futher in the links...


JH: Can you give me the address of the band? Maybe I could send Creed some money directly.

WUR: Uh...

JH: I also make sand art, and I could send them something like that as payment.

WUR: Yeah, if you want to send anything to the band, you would need to send it to our office here, and we'll forward it along. But we don't send them any money.

JH: You don't pay your bands?


Heh. It seems the RIAA one was one of the weaker ones...
posted by teradome at 8:02 AM on September 16, 2003

great link
JH: I really want to shop til I bop.
APPLE: I'll be happy to sell you an Apple.
JH: I don't want an Apple. They're too heavy.
APPLE: We have some light ones too, like an iBook.
JH: I heard that iBooks can only be used in Starbucks.
APPLE: Well, in that case, I'm not sure what to say, but that's about all I can do for you. Okay?
posted by sixtwenty3dc at 8:58 AM on September 16, 2003