Comments on: Our skulls collide, mine remains the victor

Our skulls collide, mine remains the victor

Ljubljana — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:09:31 -0800

The Cybersexual Adventures of J-Dogg
J-Dogg: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
J-Dogg: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
(via Harpers)

By: vito90

vito90 — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:15:32 -0800

I think this is a double post, but it is in fact a hilarious read.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:16:54 -0800

I was on the fence until this Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza. when I lost it - yeah, that's right, all over the keyboard, biatch.

By: dobbs

dobbs — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:20:05 -0800

Thanks. Made my day.

By: scarabic

scarabic — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:22:08 -0800

Is this actually linked from Harper's online? I saw it in the print edition but don't see it linked online. Is the print edition what your [via] was meant to indicate?

By: Ljubljana

Ljubljana — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:25:55 -0800

I thought it might be too, vito. Harper's is usually behind the curve when it comes to online things. That being said, I couldn't find it under the search terms "J-dogg," "cybersex" or "cock of the infinite." On preview to scarabic: Yes, I only saw it in the print edition.

By: Gilbert

Gilbert — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:44:25 -0800

Best unintentionally funny line:
"Grain doesn't really turn me on."

By: homunculus

homunculus — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:49:44 -0800

J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fuking charge your ass. sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious. J-Dogg: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. *ROFL*

By: patrickje

patrickje — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:57:52 -0800

That was funny, thanks.

By: bigschmoove

bigschmoove — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 15:00:22 -0800

Oh man, BloodNinja is gonna be pissed.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 15:01:13 -0800

J-Dogg: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. J-Dogg: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. J-Dogg: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. J-Dogg: Baby? woof.

By: yerfatma

yerfatma — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 15:29:46 -0800

vito, it's not a double-post. I linked to it in a comment back when it was originally on /. It pretty much justifies the Internet in my opinion.

By: RylandDotNet

RylandDotNet — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 15:30:13 -0800

Good times, good times.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 15:58:42 -0800

J-Dogg: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here. J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. That's some salad you got there, but I'll pass on the dressing.

By: Samsonov14

Samsonov14 — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 16:12:34 -0800

This kind of thing is exactly why I started visiting metafilter in the first place. Brilliant.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 16:20:06 -0800

and, of course

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 16:33:23 -0800

That being said, I couldn't find it under the search terms "J-dogg," "cybersex" or "cock of the infinite." Now that is going to make a server op's day whenever he checks the log.

By: bigschmoove

bigschmoove — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 17:01:55 -0800

You can't get enough BloodNinja. (that was supposed to be a link above)

By: yerfatma

yerfatma — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 17:24:22 -0800

Thanks Peter H and bigschmoove. It's not like I had work to do or anything.

By: yerfatma

yerfatma — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 17:46:20 -0800

There's some more J-Dogg here (slightly NSFW ad at bottom).

By: Stynxno

Stynxno — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 17:54:40 -0800

man, nothing like trying to not laugh out loud but having those little muffle giggles annoy everyone else in the room. thanx. i loved it.

By: poopy

poopy — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 18:20:02 -0800

I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. sauron is screwed

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:55:52 -0800

I'm in tears. (from yerfatma's link)

By: noisemartyr

noisemartyr — Wed, 17 Sep 2003 03:42:34 -0800

I remember when these were first posted on the Pitchfork Media Smackdown. Dr. Ninjaforkian was a genius, sadly he is MIA.

By: Shane

Shane — Wed, 17 Sep 2003 05:57:49 -0800

Oh My God, why didn't I read this sooner? I'm nearly crying, and I've got my face pressed up close to the monitor so my coworkers don't see me stifling my laughter! Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

By: untuckedshirts

untuckedshirts — Wed, 17 Sep 2003 07:28:33 -0800

If you like that you might like this

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 17 Sep 2003 07:30:01 -0800

Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy... My coworker: Somebody's havin' fun over there...

By: Danf

Danf — Wed, 17 Sep 2003 07:51:23 -0800

A friend and I took on the personalities of Hungbig and Sexgoddess and went to various chatrooms with this kind of show. . .the tension and suspense built and built to dizzying heights, only to leave Hungbig let down yet again, to retire to his bed and his Carly Simon poster on the ceiling above. It was some of the best fun I have ever had on the net.

By: jennyb

jennyb — Wed, 17 Sep 2003 08:13:32 -0800

Oh all this stifled giggling made my eyes water and my mascara run (LSHMYWAMMR)... my oh my. Thank you.

By: squirrel

squirrel — Wed, 17 Sep 2003 15:46:42 -0800

Earth People, I was born on Jupiter

By: jcruelty

jcruelty — Thu, 18 Sep 2003 13:30:02 -0800

hilarious. (and like others, after reading it my first thought was "via HARPERS?!")