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September 26, 2003 6:45 AM   Subscribe

"A look at some of the best, most-memorable, and most-audacious ads from American comic books."
posted by crunchland (19 comments total)

This one is rather unfortunate, in retrospect.
posted by jonmc at 6:57 AM on September 26, 2003

I got the Army Men when I was a kid. Naif that I was, I was expecting ARMY MEN! Well, I got 'em. Sorta. The ones from the comic had clearly volunteered for some bizarre experiment involving 2nd dimensional space. They are scaled as tall as regular army men, but they were WAFER THIN! I suppose that presents an advantage when storming a bunker, but...
posted by ursus_comiter at 7:08 AM on September 26, 2003

You can probably still get all the things listed in those ads and more, from the venerable Johnson Smith Catalog company.
posted by crunchland at 7:13 AM on September 26, 2003

I remember the Sea Monkeys. I so wanted some. Recently I saw some in a candy store. One of these days I'm going to get me some. 'Cause in the cartoon they look pretty amazing.
posted by orange swan at 7:27 AM on September 26, 2003

I just posted something similar at my own site just the other day.
posted by Robot Johnny at 7:37 AM on September 26, 2003

Ah Sea Monkeys . . . I was always afraid to order them; I didn't want them looking out at me with their humanoid faces.
posted by ahimsakid at 7:42 AM on September 26, 2003

I had friends who bought the Sea Monkeys. It was rather disappointing to watch the brine shrimp swimming about the little plastic tank. They didn't even wave.
posted by whtsherbkt at 8:13 AM on September 26, 2003

orange swan, they are so boring, though they make a great conversation piece. Oh, and they do follow the beam of small flashlight if you darken the room. :))
posted by dabitch at 8:22 AM on September 26, 2003

I once spilled my friend's Sea Monkeys all over her desk. It was a horrible case of accidental mass genocide.
posted by Robot Johnny at 8:30 AM on September 26, 2003

Did you have a small grill and some batter handy?
posted by orange swan at 8:48 AM on September 26, 2003

I still wanna believe the polaris submarine is the real deal
posted by Fupped Duck at 9:19 AM on September 26, 2003

I had the Sea Monkeys way back when. Those ads make them out to be way, way more entertaining than they are. What a disappointment!

Great site. I remember many of those ads from the Archie comic books I used to read. I think I actually ordered the Johnson Smith catalog once. : )
posted by SisterHavana at 9:35 AM on September 26, 2003

I remember them selling spider monkeys, too. But my mom wouldn't even consider it.

I shudder to think what would have happened had she said "yes".
posted by tommasz at 10:04 AM on September 26, 2003

Boy those pages bring it all back - I was just transported back to the barbershop on a saturday morning, thumbing through some comics while waiting for my daddy to have his haircut. I always wanted one of these but my mom was having none of it. Everything in those comic book ads looked so exciting and mysterious!
posted by madamjujujive at 10:05 AM on September 26, 2003

I got the Army Men when I was a kid.

I got those too, ursus. I knew it was too good to be true, but I had to give it a shot. I mean, imagine how bad Scotty Marshall's army was GOIN' DOWN! ...when I would pull out 100 extra reserve soldiers an' tanks from a secret bunker! But these guys? They must have done too much time in a stalag. Skin-n-bones, I tellya. Whatta letdown... The cardboard footlocker was okay, though.
posted by Shane at 10:39 AM on September 26, 2003

I like Basketball, but who is the "ernie d" whose autograph is on par with Dr. J, Wilt Chamberlain and Rick Barry in this ad?
posted by jonson at 10:40 AM on September 26, 2003

I don't know basketball for shit, but google tells me that Ernie D is Ernie DiGregorio.
posted by crunchland at 10:48 AM on September 26, 2003

Fucking brilliant, I love. Thanks for FPPing it. Some of my favorites were "IRRITATED EYELIDES?" (what?), the Lee family clad all in denim and fighting off a forest fire with their jackets, and of course, the seamonkeys.

I'd rather not imagine the puppymills that produced the "miniature dogs" though, nor the reality of shipping dogs hither and yon.
posted by kavasa at 11:48 AM on September 26, 2003

Damn, many of the return addresses for these offers are here on Long Island. Who knew that the place of my birth built itself on the shattered dreams of comic book reading boys?
posted by dr_dank at 8:45 PM on September 26, 2003

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