Finally!

September 30, 2003 9:06 AM

Campaign populism, Bush styleAs democrats raise money online and galvanize grass-roots support, the Bush campaign is becoming responsive to regular people as well. Perhaps you have been wondering about some of the protocol for everyday folks like yourself to show your support for the President. [more inside]
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly (22 comments total)

Question: "Can I use my personal aircraft for campaign business?"

Answer: "No, you may not use your personal aircraft for campaign business. Corporate aircraft may be used, but only if each person boarding the plane pays the equivalent of a first-class airplane ticket."

Q: "Can I have a fund-raising cocktail party for my friends at a private club or hotel and pay for the party?"

A: "No. You may have them come to your house and treat them up to $1,000 in expenses per adult in the household without it counting against your $2,000 contribution limit."

Q: "Can I use my executive assistant to help with my fund-raising activities?"

A: "Any person can volunteer to help. Employees may volunteer a maximum of 1 (one) hour per week during working hours and an unlimited amount outside of the office."
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 9:06 AM on September 30, 2003

Q: "Do I have to report my undocumented illegal immigrant maid's work on the campaign as an expense?"
A: No. Don't ask silly questions.

Q: "Must I declare my very large tax breaks windfall as a personal gift from George W. Bush?"
A: No, but don't forget there's more where that came from.

Q: "Do I have to be a Ranger or just a Pioneer this election cycle to stay out of prison?" - Ken Lay
A: You're such a joker Kenny boy! Why we hardly even knew ye!
posted by nofundy at 9:46 AM on September 30, 2003

Q: "Does it count if the money comes from daddy?"
A: Yes, dear. Daddy's money always counts, that's why you're rich and they're not.
posted by nofundy at 10:08 AM on September 30, 2003

Q: Can I 'advise' my employees that their bonus this year should be directed towards a $2,000/plate fundraiser dinner that I'm hosting at my home which they're invited to?

A: It's best to keep these 'suggestive discussions' oral, and out of writing, or else you may have a problem. Remember to point out to your employees that you'll be providing hot dogs and water at the event, so it's kind of like a party.
Unfortunately, we haven't found an omnibus bill to slide a provision allowing you to sue for compensation from employees who take your bonus, and then spend that money on personal effects. But hey, that's why we're running for another 4 years, isn't it?

XOXO,
Karl
posted by Busithoth at 10:22 AM on September 30, 2003

Wow, class warfare. How new and original. It took Gore from 55% support to less than 50%, we'll see how well it does for Dean!
posted by clevershark at 10:31 AM on September 30, 2003

Wow, class warfare. How new and original.

We didn't start the war.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:45 AM on September 30, 2003

I guess it's "class warfare" for ordinary people to talk about the class warfare being waged upon them by the people who, by an amazing coincidence, control both the bulk of the nation's wealth and the majority of its government.. Yeah, we're so mean. Next thing you know we'll be viciously and savagely pointing out that we can't afford to see a doctor. Will no one stop our cruel, heartless attacks?
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:48 AM on September 30, 2003

I think it's bogus. Can anyone find it elsewhere?
posted by nickmark at 10:52 AM on September 30, 2003

These are serious concerns, people. Can't you see we need the answers to these questions?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 10:59 AM on September 30, 2003

There are no rich Democrats.

Only rich Republicans.

Wash.

Rinse.

Repeat.
posted by internal at 11:01 AM on September 30, 2003

We didn't start the war.

We didn't light it, but we tried to fight it.
posted by jonmc at 11:25 AM on September 30, 2003

I guess it's "class warfare" for ordinary people to talk about the class warfare being waged upon them

It's the Lucky Ducky syndrome. See Paul Ford's impassioned essay on the subject.
posted by languagehat at 11:51 AM on September 30, 2003

I'm not sure this warfare that was launched upon those not wealthy in America has any class at all. I consider it rather crass myself. But then, I'm shrill.
posted by nofundy at 12:15 PM on September 30, 2003

Thanks languagehat. I loved Paul Ford's writing and identify strongly with him.
posted by nofundy at 12:26 PM on September 30, 2003

Internal, I beg to differ - I'd say one of the richest families (Gates) are probably Democrats - or at least they act like it. Bill Gates Senior has spoken out numerous times, opposing the Republicans push to drop the estate tax.
posted by humbe at 3:54 PM on September 30, 2003

and the richest of them all, Bill Gates himself, may be a closet liberal.
posted by humbe at 4:05 PM on September 30, 2003

Personally I thought Internal was being sarcastic.
posted by gyc at 4:24 PM on September 30, 2003

Look up the amount of campaign contributions given by Microsoft Corp to both parties. There's a reason why the anti-trust action against them turned into a settlement that was actually favourable to the company.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:38 PM on September 30, 2003

From humbe's article link: "To be sure, judging Bill Gates' politics by what he gives away is an exercise in tea-leaf reading that teeters on the brink of absurdity."

Yeah, that and the fact that the only donation any non-fundamentalist might consider political is a gun control gift of a whopping $35K something like 6 years ago or more. Although I would love to welcome him to our ranks, Gates is no bleeding heart. (And that article does not deliver the goods its headline promises.)

Gimme a break. No, gimme a Ctrl Alt Delete...
posted by micropublishery at 4:45 PM on September 30, 2003

"....damnit, I'm not asking anyone to give up their house and make their kids wear hemp pants, and drive an SUV made of recycled aluminum cans and mud, or whatever." ( Paul Ford )

So, environmentalism=making people homeless? Hemp is a bad fiber ? (it was good enough for George Washington, and it beats cotton as a fiber, on most counts) And aluminum recycling is bad?

I think that Ford's straw-man rhetoric here is awful, dumb, and mean.
posted by troutfishing at 9:49 PM on September 30, 2003

trout-baby, he's not engaging in straw-man rhetoric, he's pre-empting it. He's talking, in part, to the kind of people who use it, and he's rendering it useless to them.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:42 PM on September 30, 2003

I think it's bogus. Can anyone find it elsewhere?

The link in the FPP sources Lloyd Grove in the New York Daily News. I don't know if you noticed that, or maybe if you wanted a separate source.
posted by nath at 1:36 AM on October 1, 2003